Angel in Hell - Angel_KT7 (2024)

Chapter 1: The Fall

Chapter Text

“Please, Sera,” Emily begged. “There has to be another way! You have to stop Adam and the Exorcists before they open that portal!”

“I’m sorry, Emily. The extermination will proceed as scheduled.”

“But he’s going to kill Charlie and her friends!”

“That’s enough!” the ancient angel said sharply. But then she regretted her tone immediately. In over ten thousand years, she had never raised her voice to her little sister, and the younger angel was clearly shocked to see this side of her.

“I know that you’ve taken a liking to Princess Morningstar,” Sera sighed. “Rest assured, she will be alright. Our treaty with Hell prohibits the Exorcists from harming Hellborn souls. Only the sinners will be culled.”

“But Charlie’s given everything to that hotel! After everything she’s done to try and redeem those souls, she’ll be devastated if Adam kills them!”

“Their fate is regrettable,” Sera said solemnly. “But Lucifer’s misguided daughter never had any hope of saving their souls. They had their chance to earn their place in Heaven while they were alive. The choices they made in life are what got them sent to the Underworld. Hell is their punishment for the lives they wasted. Extermination is their inevitable end.”

“That’s cruel!”

“This is why I kept the truth from you, Emily. The situation is complicated. I don’t delight in the Exorcists’ ghastly duty, but we have to put the safety of Heaven’s souls above all others. We don’t have the luxury of compassion in this matter.”

Emily squeezed her eyes shut as she struggled with unfamiliar emotions… sadness, anger, regret, guilt… Feelings people weren’t supposed to have in Heaven.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered.

“I know it’s not,” Sera sighed. “It never was.” The older angel spread her massive wings and took flight from the cloister of the Heavenly Courthouse, leaving the younger one alone with her thoughts.

Emily was a seraph. It was her job to spread joy and light to the people of Heaven. But how could she do that, knowing that in just mere moments thousands of human souls in Hell were going to be wiped from existence? If she stood by, knowing what she knew, and allowed it to happen… didn’t that make her no better than the sinners?

Emily looked up at the sky and folded her hands reverently. “Dear Heavenly Father,” she prayed. “Please… show me what to do. Grant me Your wisdom. Reveal to me Your will, and then give me the courage to do what I must.”

The tranquility of the clear skies was broken by the ominous chiming of the clock tower near the Exorcists’ fortress. Emily’s stomach dropped. The last time she’d heard those chimes was six months ago. For millennia she had naively assumed that the chimes were merely calling Heaven’s guards for duty or training. It made her sick to think back on all those times she’d hear it chime before, never knowing the carnage that sound hailed. How foolish she had been. Any second now, the portal to Hell would open and thousands of souls would perish. If only she could do something!

Do something.

Emily’s eyes widened, realizing the answer to her prayer. Of course! She couldn’t just sit on the sidelines anymore! She had to get involved! If Charlie had an angel on her side, her friends just might be spared from the Exorcists’ blades. Perhaps her standing in the Heavenly Court was high enough that she could even convince some of the soldiers to stop the slaughter.

She had to try.

She spread her six wings and took to the sky, flying as fast as she could to the fortress.

Charlie had been helpless in Adam’s clutches. The so-called angel was sad*stic and without mercy. Alastor was missing. Sir Pentious had been killed, along with countless other citizens from Cannibal Town who were only defending their home. How could this monster be deemed fit for Heaven when he was so much worse than many of the most notorious sinners in Hell?

She thought she was done for until her father joined the fight. Now he was toying the with Exorcist Commander, evading every blow with ease. Even a demon as terrifying as Alastor had not been a match for Adam. It boggled the mind to imagine how powerful Lucifer must be.

“So, this is what you’ve been up to since Eden?” Lucifer asked as he flew circles around Adam. “Gotta say, you’ve really let yourself go, man.”

“You, judging me?!” Adam shouted indignantly. “You’re the most hated being in all of creation!”

“Well, your first wife didn’t seem to hate what I had to offer,” Lucifer grinned while making a lewd gesture with his fingers in the shape of a V over his mouth. Adam threw another punch, only for Lucifer to evade him again. Then the devil circled back and brought his face within inches of the humiliated commander. “Or the second!”

Adam’s face twisted with fury at the implication, so Lucifer pressed his buttons even more by thrusting his hips and making “bow-chica-pow-pow” sounds. Adam just kept getting angrier and angrier, and it was showing in his fighting. With every taunt, the Exorcist Commander was getting sloppier and more predictable.

Charlie dared to feel a glimmer of hope. With her father in the fight, they just might stand a chance.

The portal to Hell had already opened and the Exorcist assault had already begun by the time Emily reached the fortress. The young seraph looked down into the Underworld and was shaken by what she saw. She was a being of pure goodness, born in the light. But down there… it was dark and red and the air was hot and oppressive. Below, she could see the battle already unfolding. Hundreds of Exorcists flitted around the Hazbin Hotel. But the sinners were fighting back. Angel and demon alike were being cut down amidst an awful cacophony of screams and clashing weapons.

“No!” Emily cried down to them. “This isn’t right! This has to stop! No more bloodshed!”

No one could hear her over the hellish sounds of the battle below.

Emily clasped her hands with worry. There was only one way…

“Father, give me courage,” she prayed. Then she spread her wings and descended into Hell.

“Hold still, you slippery f*cker!” Adam roared at Lucifer. Enraged, he summoned a powerful ray of holy light and directed it at the fallen angel. Lucifer barely managed to dodge this time, but the hotel took the brunt of the blow. The holy light cut the Hazbin Hotel clean in half.

Miraculously, the light had missed Charlie, but the princess lost her footing on the crumbling roof and screamed as she began to plummet into the void created by Adam’s attack. Dodging falling debris, Lucifer swooped in and caught his daughter.

“I’ve got you,” he said reassuringly.

Charlie clung to him, eyes shining with relief.

At that moment, Emily spotted them. The young angel nearly cried with relief when she saw that Charlie was okay. That man who had caught her looked like a seraph with his six red-and-white wings and angelic glow, but he bore a striking resemblance to Charlie. She realized that it must be Lucifer.

“Charlie!” Emily called out to her friend.

Charlie looked in the direction of the voice calling her name. “Emmy!” she cried. “What are you doing here?!”

“Eh?” Lucifer also looked up to see Emily flying towards him. She wasn’t an Exorcist, but there was something familiar about her.

While the Morningstars were distracted, neither noticed the enemy that was hurtling towards them. Emily gasped when she saw Adam dive at Lucifer.

“Look out!” she cried.

But it was too late. Just as Lucifer turned to see the threat, Adam’s fist made hard contact with Lucifer’s jaw. Charlie was knocked from his arms and flew through the air as the fallen angel hurtled towards the ground.

“Charlie, no!” Emily cried.

“Say good night, bitch!” Adam laughed maniacally.

Lucifer recovered just feet above the ground. “Charlie!” he screamed out.

He looked up just in time to see his daughter be enveloped by holy light.

“She’s so beautiful, Lilith,” Lucifer whispered as he cradled the newborn against his chest. “The most beautiful thing in all of the seven rings. In all of creation!”

“She’s absolutely perfect,” Lilith agreed. “To think, after all these millennia, we finally have our own little princess.”

Lucifer offered a finger to the baby, and she gripped it tight. So small and yet so strong. “What should we call her?”

“I want to call her Charlotte,” Lilith answered. “Charlotte Morningstar.”

“Princess Charlotte Morningstar,” Lucifer said. “It does have a ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“Our sweet angel…”

“The most perfect thing I’ve ever made… that I ever will make! And to think that such a light could come out of the darkness of Hell…”

Lilith smiled, wrapping her arm around Lucifer’s waist and stroking young Charlotte’s wispy blonde hair. Lucifer couldn’t tear his eyes from the newborn’s slumbering face.

“Daddy will always protect you, my little princess,” Lucifer whispered. “As long as I live, no harm will ever befall you. I promise.”

Chapter 2: Unleashed

Chapter Text

Lucifer felt numbness wash over him as he stared up at the sky. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe.

All he could do was watch helplessly as the ashes of what once was his little girl fell like rain on the battlefield.

The King of Hell dropped to his knees in the blood-soaked earth. He raised his hands and caught the few ashes he could in his palms. The rest were swept away on a warm breeze. He stared down at his hands, now stained with the ashes of Charlie. His only child. His legacy. His beloved princess. The child he once held in these hands, now reduced to nearly nothing.

Emily watched on with horror. “No,” she whispered. “This can’t be happening… This can’t be real… Oh, poor Charlie…”

Adam’s cruel laughter cut through the din of the battle.

“Ha! That’s what you get, you f*cking bitch!” he crowed triumphantly. “That’s what happens to f*cking demon c*nts who don’t know their place!”

Emily felt a burning sensation beginning in her chest and spreading through to her limbs. Was this rage? It had to be. Before she even made a conscious decision to move, she was already flying at the Exorcist Commander with all the speed she could muster.

“You monster!” Emily screamed at him.

“Huh?” Adam turned just as Emily reached him. The young angel began beating her tiny fists uselessly against his chest. She had never struck anyone before. She wasn’t a fighter. But this rage that filled her demanded retribution for the loss of her friend.

Ineffective as her attack was, the feeling scared her.

“The f*ck are you doing here?!” Adam demanded as he seized both of her wrists in one hand, easily putting a stop to her assault.

“I came to stop this extermination!” Emily shouted at him.

“Oh, really?” Adam sneered. “And just how do you plan to do that?”

“I… I-I-!” Emily stuttered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Why don’t you run along home and play with your dollies?” Adam mocked her. “The big kids are trying to play, here!”

Adam’s laughter was suddenly cut short as the commander was violently struck to the ground. It all happened so fast that it took several seconds before Emily saw what had hit him.

Lucifer.

The King of Hell was hovering just feet away, glaring down at Adam’s prone figure in the crater formed by his impact with the ground. The expression on the devil’s face was one that Emily could only describe as pure hatred. An Exorcist saw her commander in danger and flew in to strike down the devil, but Lucifer easily avoided the attack, grabbing the spear from her hands and slashing her across the middle with it. The Exorcist clutched her gut as her entrails spilled out and she fell to the ground. Emily was so horrified she couldn’t even scream.

Lucifer turned his attention back to Adam, who was still laying barely conscious in the crater, the remnants of his Exorcist mask smashed to pieces. Spear in hand, Lucifer swooped down and drove the blade through Adam’s middle with such force that the handle broke on impact. The first man screamed in pain.

“Stop it!” Emily cried, dropping to the ground and running towards the men. “Please, no one else needs to die!”

Lucifer clutched his head in his hands, which were now covered in Adam’s blood. The devil was trembling, his eyes wide and unfocussed. A sound escaped him that Emily thought might be weeping. But as it grew in volume, the angel realized what it really was…

Laughter.

Cold, cruel, insane laughter.

Something inside of Lucifer had snapped. He threw his head back and laughed madly to the sky as he gave in to the Beast within. In a dramatic rush of heat, two large red horns burst forth from his forehead, with an orb of red fire appearing between them. The golden snake and apple from his hat coiled around the antlers like some sick parody of a halo. The sclera of his eyes became crimson like blood while a long, black tail whipped out from his back. Many eyes opened on his coattails, much like the eyes one would expect to see on a powerful angel… but there was nothing angelic about this creature. The holy white aura that had surrounded him moments ago had become a fiery red, like the last dying light of a sunset just before total darkness falls.

“Get away from me, you freak,” Adam hissed, coughing up a bit of blood. Lucifer stopped laughing and looked down at Adam with a look of fury. But then Adam’s blood ran cold when that expression twisted into a sad*stic sneer. Without warning, the devil began pummelling the first man in the face, violently and without mercy. He didn’t stop when blood was spraying out with every strike. He didn’t stop when teeth and bits of flesh went flying. He didn’t even stop when Adam’s left eye popped out of its socket and landed in the dirt.

It seemed that Lucifer only stopped when an even more sad*stic idea occurred to him.

The devil removed the broken end of the spear from Adam’s middle. Blood was pouring out and staining the fine fabric of his uniform. Adam, still alive, was wheezing and gasping for air. Grinning evilly, Lucifer slipped his claws deep into Adam’s wound.

“N… no…” Adam whimpered. “Please…”

Lucifer brought his lips to Adam’s ear.

“You dare beg me for mercy?” His voice was little more than a demonic snarl.

“I…! I…!”

Lucifer pitilessly thrust both hands into the wound as Adam screamed. He rooted around until he found the edges of Adam’s ribcage. He tangled his talons into the mess of bone and cartilage and began to pull.

Emily couldn’t move. She couldn’t scream. And worst of all, she couldn’t look away.

With a roar of triumph, Lucifer ripped Adam’s ribcage apart in a spray of blood and guts. Adam spasmed and gurgled, horrified shock frozen on what was left of his face.

“NOOOOO!!!”

From above, Adam’s first officer Lute howled in horror and rage when she saw what the devil had done to her commander.

“Exorcists!” she screamed to her sisters. “Focus all attacks on Lucifer!”

Dozens of Exorcists were upon the King of Hell in an instant, but the demon did not look worried. On the contrary, he appeared downright thrilled to have his prey come for him so willingly. He picked up the broken spear he had stabbed the first man with and violently drove it through the skull of the first Exorcist that reached him. The soldier’s body had barely hit the ground before he grabbed up her sword and decapitated the next nearest angel. Spinning around, he swung the weapon violently and eviscerated three more Exorcists that were trying to ambush him from behind. Side-stepping another that lunged at him, he drove the sword into her back, pinning her to the ground. Still, more Exorcists came. Still, he continued to slaughter them.

Emily felt her knees go weak and she fell to the ground. Why did her Heavenly Father lead her here? She had come to help. She had come to try to put a stop to the fighting. But in the end, all she could do was sit by and watch.

Perhaps this was her own personal Hell.

“Emmy!”

Emily turned to the direction of the familiar voice. She saw Vaggie running towards her. A small group of other sinners were following her.

“Holy f*ckin’ sh*t,” Angel Dust said when he saw Lucifer tearing through the Exorcists like it was child’s play.

“What the f*ck are you doing here?!” Vaggie demanded. “Where’s Charlie?”

Emily opened her mouth, but no sound would come out.

“Emmy!” Vaggie shouted, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “Where is Charlie?! I can’t find her!”

Emily’s shell-shocked silence and Lucifer’s rage-fueled bloodlust began to speak what words could not. Vaggie shook her head disbelievingly.

“No,” Vaggie whispered. “It’s not true… Say it’s not true…”

“Oh, f*ck,” Husker murmured.

“Th-that ain’t possible,” Angel said with a humourless chuckle. “No. I don’t believe you. You’re wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” Emily sobbed. “I just wanted to help. But I should never have come. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

“You’re sorry?” Vaggie repeated. “You’re sorry?! Did you sit on the sidelines and watch these animals slaughter my girlfriend too?! Did you eat popcorn while you watched the only person I love get taken from me?!”

“No, Vaggie!” Emily cried. “That’s not what I–!”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have come!” Vaggie shouted at her. “You know why? Because you’re weak! You’ve spent your whole life up on your little cloud with no idea of what it’s like to have to fight to survive!”

“Vaggie!” Angel exclaimed, grabbing the former Exorcist’s shoulders. “Stop it, you don’t mean any of that!”

“Keep fighting!” Lute screamed at her rapidly dwindling forces. “Kill that f*cking monster!”

“Belay that order!” a voiced boomed from the portal above.

Emily gasped and looked up. “Sera?” Her sister must have been monitoring the battle somehow and had decided to intervene.

“All forces fall back!” Sera ordered. “Retreat to the portal!”

“Big sister is calling,” Vaggie said bitterly. “You’d better get out of here.”

Emily got to her feet shakily, looking up at the portal. Of the hundreds of Exorcists who had invaded Hell, it appeared that barely a third of them had survived to retreat. Even Lute appeared to be struggling to gain altitude, clutching the bloodied stump of her missing left arm. The seraph glanced back at the grief-stricken sinners. Her Father had sent her here to help. Was leaving these poor souls really the right thing to do?

“You got mud in your ears, or something?” Vaggie snarked at her. “I said get out of here!”

“Forgive me,” Emily whispered. She hadn’t been brave enough. She turned away and spread her wings, flying as fast as she could to the portal. Despite having six wings, she was not as fast as the battle-hardened Exorcists. She struggled to keep pace with the warriors, but she was quickly lagging behind.

Through the haze of battle, Lucifer had barely registered a voice coming from the Heavens commanding his prey back to their den. Raising a hand to his mouth, he licked the sweet blood of his enemies from his fingers and watched the cowards run away. In a moment of clarity, he realized that he recognized the voice that called down from the Heavens. It was Sera, High Seraphim of Heaven. There was no doubt of it. Just like her to spoil his fun once again.

As he watched the Exorcists retreat back to their portal, something caught his eye against the dark, red sky. A white figure, out of place in this realm. He narrowed his eyes and recalled the seraph that had interrupted his battle with Adam earlier. The annoying little brat that shrieked like a baby when he ripped that thing apart.

Spoiling his fun…

That’s why she looked so familiar.

Lucifer smiled darkly. He realized that his vengeance against Heaven was only just beginning.

He stooped down to pick up two angelic glaives that had fallen from the hands of his enemies. Roaring like a dragon, the fallen angel spread his wings and tore after his new target.

“Why did you call us back?!” Lute demanded as she collapsed at Sera’s feet just inside the portal. “We were wearing him down! A few more moments and–!”

“And your entire army would have been slaughtered instead of just most of them,” Sera cut her off. “I did what you should have done the second you lost your commander.”

“This isn’t over!” Lute vowed. “I will go back down there and rip out that monster’s spine!”

“Not today, you won’t,” Sera said with authority. “Report back to the fortress. I have so many injured soldiers to heal. And I’m closing this portal before this disaster gets even more out of hand.”

“Sera!”

Sera’s heart leapt into her throat when she heard the cry coming from below. Looking down through the portal, she saw Emily struggling to fly back up.

“Emily!” Sera cried out in horror. “What are you doing down there?!”

Emily was too out of breath to answer. She just kept flapping her tired wings with all her might, desperate to get back to the safety of Heaven, where nothing bad was ever supposed to happen.

But then, soaring upward like a bird of prey, Sera saw him come into view… The Beast. The Fallen One. The Morning Star.

Lucifer.

She hadn’t seen him in millennia, but she recognized his features… barely. He looked so different from the playful sprite she had known in the Garden of Eden. He had been one of the most beautiful angels in Heaven. Now he looked every bit like the evil monsters he ruled over.

As Emily struggled, Lucifer was quickly overtaking her, like the effort of flying so high was nothing for him. In each hand, he was carrying an angelic glaive.

“Emily, hurry!” Sera cried out to her sister. “He’s coming!”

The angelic leader reached down through the portal to grab her sister’s hand. Emily reached up to her.

It was too late. As Emily’s fingers barely touched Sera’s, Lucifer sprang up from behind. Raising the two glaives like some kind of demonic reaper, he brought the blades down. For a split second, it appeared as if nothing had happened. Emily didn’t even cry out. But then golden blood spurted from her back as her six beautiful wings fell away.

“Emily, no!” Sera screamed as her sister began to fall.

She didn’t fall far before Lucifer swooped down and caught her around the waist, dropping one of the glaives so that he could hold her securely. Emily went limp in his grasp, most likely out of shock. Lucifer turned back to the portal and looked up at Sera with a triumphant smirk.

“Let her go, Lucifer!” Sera demanded as she made a move to go through the portal after them.

Lucifer merely raised a hand and the portal was suddenly blocked by a large, red pentagram. Sera pounded her fist against it, but the barrier would not yield. The High Seraphim looked on helplessly while the Beast flew up to hover at her eye level, just on the other side of the barrier. He was smiling cruelly and wagging his finger at her, as if he had just caught her doing something bad.

“Give her back to me!” Sera demanded. “Release her!”

“No,” Lucifer hissed. “She’s mine now.”

“Please, she’s innocent!”

“Exactly!”

With a snap of his fingers, the portal shut completely, and Lucifer and Emily disappeared from Sera’s sight.

Chapter 3: Mad King Lucifer

Chapter Text

Even with the Exorcists gone, the Hazbin Hotel was no longer safe. The staff and residents had no other option but to regroup. They eventually ended up at Cherri Bomb’s apartment on the other side of the Pentagram – Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, and Cherri. Alastor was still missing, and his odds of survival seemed grim. Miraculously, Razzle and Fat Nuggets had escaped with their lives, but the same could not be said for Dazzle, Sir Pentious, or his Egg Bois.

Or for Charlie.

Vaggie had locked herself in Cherri’s bedroom. Every so often, the group in the sitting room could hear quiet sobs coming from behind the door. Angel sat on the sofa hugging Fat Nuggets to his chest while the little pig oinked contentedly, relieved to finally be somewhere quiet and safe. Husk sat beside Angel, arms resting on his knees as he stared at the floor. Of all the times no one would blame him for cracking open a bottle of cheap booze, somehow the former overlord just didn’t feel like numbing himself now. Niffty kept herself busy by cleaning Cherri’s filthy apartment, but even the task that would normally bring the diminutive housekeeper sheer joy was now carried out with quiet restraint. Cherri sat on the floor in front of the couch, facing the TV. She had turned on some old reruns of Yeah, I f*cked Your Sister, So What? in an attempt to distract and bring a bit of comfort to the others, but no one seemed to be paying much attention to it.

Razzle crawled onto Cherri’s lap and bleated pathetically. The small goat demon looked up at the one-eyed woman inquisitively. Expectantly. Cherri sighed and patted the poor thing on the head.

“Sorry, Goatface,” she told him. “But your buddy’s gone.”

“It’s f*ckin’ bullsh*t,” Angel muttered miserably. “This never shoulda happened.”

“Charlie… Pentious… maybe even Alastor…” Husk mused. “It seems a heavy price just to save us.”

“What’s even the point?” Angel wondered out loud. “Of any of it? Why should we go through all this trouble to redeem ourselves? Why? So we can go to Heaven with the people who killed our friends?” Angel scoffed miserably. “I think I’d rather burn in Hell.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Husk said. “That’s not what Charlie wanted for you.”

“Yeah, well Charlie ain’t here is she, Whiskers?!” Angel cried angrily. Tears were welling up in his eyes and spilling freely down his face. He hugged Fat Nuggets closer for comfort. “She’s gone and she ain’t never coming back! f*ck, we were so f*ckin’ stupid… Why did we think we could defend that hotel? We all shoulda just ran and hid, like we do every time. Then maybe the rest of our friends would still be here.”

“Yeah, you might be right,” Husk said. “But then how many thousands of innocent souls would be dead right now?”

“That supposed to make me feel better?!”

“No… just… brings a bit of perspective, is all…”

The television show was suddenly loudly interrupted by a breaking news alert.

“Oh sh*t,” Cherri murmured. “It’s probably about the extermination. Want me to turn it off?”

“No,” Angel said flatly. “Let’s watch. See what the talking heads have to say about our princess’s sacrifice.”

The Channel 666 News graphic faded away to reveal Katie Killjoy seated in her typical place. Her usual co-anchor, Tom Trench, was nowhere to be seen, but a few smears of blood were visible on the wall behind his chair. Katie looked shaken up, somehow even paler than she usually was, with her signature smile forcefully plastered across her face while her left eye twitched sporadically.

“G-good evening, I’m Katie Killjoy,” Katie said, trying to sound upbeat, but looking and sounding more and more like a hostage in a proof-of-life video by the second. “Breaking news, Extermination Day is cancelled… In an unforeseen turn of events, our beloved ruler, his Majesty King Lucifer, fended off the invasion of our sovereign realm by the Heavenly forces. Please stand by for a royal address from our benevolent leader, King Lucifer…”

“Lucifer fended them off?!” Angel cried, outraged. “What about Charlie?! What about us?!”

“If that short prick hadn’t been so late to the party, maybe Pentious would still be alive!” Cherri said angrily.

“Everyone, calm down,” Husk said. “I’m sure ‘his Majesty’ will give credit where credit is due. Let’s just hear what he has to say.”

The image on the television flickered a few times before cutting to Lucifer. The king was still in his demonic form and he was still covered in angel blood from the battle just hours earlier.

“Someone didn’t waste any f*cking time before calling a press conference,” Angel commented bitterly.

“My dearest subjects of Hell,” Lucifer began, “it is my grim duty to inform you that the heir to the throne of Hell, your princess and my beloved daughter, Charlotte Morningstar, was murdered today at the hands of the angelic interlopers. Those of you familiar with my daughter’s charitable work no doubt know that she dedicated her life to strengthening the diplomatic bonds between Hell and the Heavenly realm. In the end, the angels saw fit to kill her for it.”

“sh*t,” Husk cursed. “This ain’t good.”

“My grief is the kind that no one on Earth or in Hell should ever have to suffer… the grief of losing one’s child. Yet I know that you, my loyal subjects, are grieving alongside me. And I assure you, this outrage will not go unanswered. No longer will we hide down here in the dark, waiting for the next attack. Now, we will bring the battle to Heaven itself. We will build our own army. We will arm ourselves with angelic weapons. And we will march on the Golden City, and raze it to the ground. This time, it will be the angels who cower in fear!”

“Is he crazy?!” Cherri exclaimed. “Attack Heaven?! Even I’m not that bloodthirsty!”

“All portals between our realms have been sealed,” Lucifer continued. “We have already detained several angels that became trapped in this realm. They will be dealt with appropriately. Take heed, any citizen of Hell found to be harbouring or abetting angels in any way will be found guilty of high treason and subjected to their same fate. Any citizen who sees an angel in our realm should consider it their civic duty to kill it. Death to Heaven!”

The news bulletin ended as abruptly as it had started. The group was left staring at a no-signal screen.

“Bad boy,” Niffty murmured, her eye fixed on the TV. The other three sinners looked at the demonic housekeeper. She didn’t look excited by the “bad boy”, as one would normally expect her to be. Rather, she looked greatly unnerved.

“Things are going to get bad out there.”

The rest of the group turned to look at Cherri’s bedroom door, where Vaggie was now standing, her eye swollen from crying.

“What’re we gonna do, Vags?” Angel asked. “That psycho just painted a target on your back!”

“It’s not him,” Vaggie said. “It’s his demonic form.”

“What are you talking about?” Cherri asked.

“Charlie used to tell me that the reason she always avoided getting angry or upset was because that’s when her demon form would come out. In the short-term, it’s a powerful weapon. But Charlie said it was hard to control herself when she was like that… and the longer demon royalty stay that way, the more it begins to take over their personalities. All of Lucifer’s principles and inhibitions are going out the window because he hasn’t changed back since the battle. His grief is too great.”

“Well, if he doesn’t change back soon, another extermination will be the least of our worries,” Husk said. “If he goes through with this insane plan, Heaven will wipe us all out – sinner and Hellborn alike!”

Vaggie stood in pensive silence for a few moments. Then she looked at her friends. “I’m going to try to reach out to him.”

“Are you f*ckin’ nuts?!” Angel demanded.

“You heard the broadcast!” Cherri jumped in. “You and your kind are at the top of his hitlist!”

“I have to try!” Vaggie insisted. “We both loved Charlie! I’m the only other person in Hell who knows the emptiness she left behind. If I can help him get past the rage – help him grieve – maybe I can bring him back to his senses.”

“Or maybe he’ll mount your dead ass on the hood of his car,” Cherri said sarcastically.

“Real helpful, Cherri,” Husk grumbled at her.

“Look, I have to do this,” Vaggie said. “I know the risks. And I know it’s not fair to ask any of you to follow me into this mess. Just me being here is dangerous for all of you now. So this is something I know I’m going to have to do on my own.”

“Don’t be f*cking stupid,” Husk berated her.

“Yeah, girly,” Angel agreed. “We’ve stuck together this far. We ain’t splittin’ up now.”

Cherri stood up and placed a hand on her hip. “What’s the play, bitch?” she asked with a grin.

“I want that message repeated on every station hourly,” Lucifer told the demon producer. “See to it that it is done. My people must hear this declaration of war.”

“O-of course, my lord,” the producer said shakily, too frightened to even meet the king’s gaze.

Lucifer turned his sights on the anchor’s desk, where Katie Killjoy had spent the past ten minutes chain-smoking with shaking hands. He stepped past the cameras and made his way over to her.

“Ms. Killjoy,” he said smoothly, laying a hand on the polished surface of the desk.

Katie had not noticed his approach, jumping to attention with a yelp and cursing under her breath when she dropped her cigarette. Ever the professional, she quickly composed herself and plastered her trademark smile across her face.

“Y-yes, your kingliness?” she answered with forced cheerfulness.

“You did well, my dear. As a reward, you get to keep both your job and your head.”

“O-o-oh, h-how, uh, generous!” she said with a smile while sweating bullets.

“And Ms. Killjoy?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Tell your next co-anchor to keep the ‘short jokes’ to himself.”

With that, he removed his hand from the desk, dragging his talons along it so that five deep gouges were left in their wake on the hardwood surface. Katie trembled fearfully and looked at the floor. Tom Trench’s mangled body was still laying crumpled where it had fallen before the broadcast went out. When she looked back up, the winged beast had already turned his back and left.

“What’s that place, Daddy?” young Charlie asked from her perch atop Lucifer’s shoulder.

“Why, that’s the Heavenly Embassy,” Lucifer told her as he stopped on the street so she could admire the structure.

“It’s so pretty!” Charlie exclaimed. “Is that where you go to talk to angels?”

“It sure is, Appleseed,” Lucifer said with a smile.

“Can we go inside?”

“Hmm. Maybe another time.”

“Daaaaaddy,” the cute little princess pouted.

“Maybe when you’re older,” he said. “Angels can be… well… a bit scary…”

“You’re an angel and you’re not scary,” she told him.

“Well, I’m a bit different from them… a lot different from them…”

“Do you think I could be an angel someday?”

“Oh sweetie, you’re so much better than an angel already,” Lucifer told her. “You’re my little princess. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

“Will you fly us home, Daddy?”

“Anything for you, Appleseed.”

Chapter 4: Insane

Chapter Text

“I want this portal opened immediately!” Sera said authoritatively, but with a strain of desperation and fear audible in her voice. “Do whatever it takes, just open it!”

“I’m trying!” Gabriel protested, his four large wings sagging with exhaustion. “The bridge isn’t responding! Lucifer must have sealed it!”

“That’s not possible!” Sera exclaimed, pacing anxiously. “He can’t do that! He doesn’t have that power! The terms of our treaty with Hell–”

“Were null and void when your Exorcist Commander killed a Hellborn.”

Sera turned to see the speaker. An archangel in dark grey robes descended from the sky to stand in front of the High Seraphim. He had a gaunt face, long black hair, and four large, black wings, with a large purple eye facing out from each one. In one hand, he carried a large, angelic scythe.

“Azrael,” Sera addressed him. “How do you know this?”

“Death is my domain, after all,” Azrael said. “I see each one. Billions of souls have risen and fallen since the start of the cosmos, and each one came and went exactly when it was supposed to. But this time… this time, it wasn’t meant to happen. Not to her.”

“Her?” Sera repeated.

“The Hellborn who was killed. The daughter of the Morning Star.”

“Princess Charlotte?!” Sera exclaimed.

Azrael looked almost sorrowful. “Hers was a particularly beautiful soul. Unusually pure, for one born in Hell. She was supposed to live a long life.”

“That impulsive fool!” Sera ranted, referring to Adam. “His senseless lust for violence has finally brought doom to our realm! Lucifer will not let this stand!” She turned to Gabriel. “Can you send a herald to the Underworld? I need to speak to the Fallen One! Perhaps I can negotiate a new peace treaty…”

“Impossible,” Gabriel shook his head. “All lines of communication between the realms have been cut off. Even my heralds can’t get through.”

“What about the embassy?”

“Also sealed off.”

“But there were angels down there! Diplomats! Leaders of Virtue! How are they supposed to get back?”

“They won’t.”

Sera and Gabriel looked at Azrael. His ominous comment sent a chill through the air.

“There must be something we can do,” Sera said desperately.

“There is,” Azrael said grimly. “You can pray that they don’t suffer for long.”

Lucifer had never had much use for hellhounds. Truth be told, he was more of a cat person. But he was impressed with how many quickly answered his call to action. He already had a sizeable following of hounds by the time he left the 666 News studio, and more were pouring in from the Gluttony Ring every hour. Their keen sense of smell made them invaluable for hunting down and rooting out angels. At last count, nine Exorcists who had been too injured to escape Hell had been dragged from their hiding places. Two of them were taken captive, while the remaining seven had already been torn apart in the streets by the vengeful residents of Hell.

This was all going better than he had envisioned.

As Lucifer touched back down in the Pentagram after finishing another sweep of the city, a pair of hellhounds approached him. One was a tall, black-furred male, while the other was a short, brown-furred female.

“Sire,” the male said with a small bow.

“What is it?”

“We’ve cornered the remaining angels in the Heavenly Embassy. We tried to break in, but the doors and windows are sealed with angelic protection.”

“A transparently desperate attempt to delay the inevitable,” Lucifer scoffed. “I suppose I will have to deal with them myself.”

“But the barriers–”

“Don’t work against other angels.”

Lucifer spread his wings and took to the sky again. When he had gained sufficient altitude, he turned to look in the general direction of the embassy. It was like Heaven was mocking him by tarnishing Hell’s dark aesthetic with its garish light-themed architecture. That hourglass counting down the days to extermination, as if they were gloating about how much stronger they were. And that hideous halo at the top, reminding all of Heaven’s righteousness.

How had he allowed this insult to stand for all these millennia?

Lucifer couldn’t help but smirk. He was going to enjoy this.

Tipping his wings to catch the wind, the fallen angel flew as fast as he could for the embassy. It only took him a few moments to reach it. When his feet touched down on the street in front of the embassy, he could see hellhounds all around, scratching and clawing at the angelic barriers that barred the doors. Lucifer scoffed at their feeble attempts.

“Stand aside!” he commanded. The hounds cleared the way for him like the loyal dogs they were. Lucifer strode up the marble steps with murderous intent.

The doors to the embassy had already been ripped off their hinges by the hellhounds. The only thing keeping the angels inside safe was the shimmering blue field of angelic defense. They were designed to only allow angels through.

How convenient.

Lucifer removed the two angelic glaives from the sheath on his back. He had sawed off the shafts to make them shorter, which reduced his reach but allowed him greater speed. In a very short amount of time, he had become an efficient killer with them.

He could hear the panicked voices of the angelic trespassers within. At least two of them he recognized – the Virtues, Patience and Temperance. And at least another dozen with them. Good. Enough to perhaps grant him a bit of a challenge.

Lucifer strode through the barrier without resistance. “What a lovely place you have here,” he sneered while his tail whipped back and forth excitedly. “Be a shame if something happened to it.”

Terrified gasps came from the angels as they realized that there was no defense between them and the most dangerous being in Hell.

“Lucifer!” one of the angels cried out.

Patience and Temperance were in their angelic forms, appearing as many-eyed beings of light. Even when he was in Heaven, Lucifer had hated those many eyes. Watching, judging, from every angle, never blinking.

He wouldn’t rest until the only angelic eyes left open in the cosmos were his own.

“What is the meaning of this?” Patience demanded. “Why have you sealed our portals? Why have your citizens attacked?!”

Lucifer scoffed. “You don’t know? Then I suppose you’re going to die the way you lived… Ignorant.”

The Prince of Pride strode further into the room and assessed his targets. Aside from the two Virtues, there were three diplomats, seven angelic aides, and four injured Exorcists – one of whom appeared to already be dead.

“Your highnesses, get behind me!” the least-injured Exorcist called to the Virtues while jumping up and brandishing her angelic spear. One of her wings was broken and bleeding, but aside from that she appeared to be fit enough for battle.

“Be careful, Labella!” Temperance warned the warrior. “He’s dangerous!”

“He must be stopped,” the Exorcist said. “I will consider it an honour to slay the Beast.”

Patience sighed. “Very well. Do what you must.”

The Exorcist and the devil began to slowly circle each other, sizing each other up for the fight. Lucifer smirked when he saw a flicker of fear in the angel’s eyes.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you!
Come and face me if you can!
I don’t know how you got here
But I think I’m starting to understand.
I don’t belong among the angels,
And frankly, that’s just fine with me.
The things I did up there were high school,
But now I’m going for my degree!”

The Exorcist suddenly charged recklessly, thrusting her spear at the fallen angel. Lucifer dodged the attack, but the Exorcist quickly followed up with a barrage of consecutive attacks. The Deadly Sin initially managed to avoid the spearhead, but then she started getting too close for comfort – first tearing the sleeve of his coat and then subsequently slicing some red feathers from one of his wings. Lucifer’s temper flared as he quickly became frustrated. The Exorcist’s onslaught of attacks was keeping him on the ropes. All he could do was defend. She wasn’t giving him a chance to attack!

The Exorcist did a leg sweep, taking Lucifer’s feet out from under him. He landed on his back, looking up at his opponent. The Exorcist raised her spear to finish him off. Acting quickly, Lucifer swung his glaives to catch the blade just inches away from his face. After a brief struggle, he managed to redirect the spear into the floor beside his head. It went in so deeply, the Exorcist couldn’t pull it out.

As she struggled, Lucifer caught his reflection in the polished angelic metal of the spear. Was that his face? He didn’t recognize it. It looked like someone else’s dead eyes staring back at him.

The Exorcist finally managed to wrench the spear free, stumbling back slightly as she did. Lucifer rolled forward into a crouch, taking advantage of his diminutive stature to gore her with his horns just under her ribcage.

A beautiful chorus of terrified screams came from the angels on the sidelines. The Exorcist gurgled and spasmed as Lucifer savoured the sensation of her blood dripping down his face. He viciously ripped his horns from her, grabbing her spear from her hand and violently impaling her on it under her jaw.

“Hey, sorry but you just got in my way!
I promise, honey, I can feel your pain.
And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit,
Does that make me insane?
Your extermination just backfired.
Consider our armistice expired!
And now I have the power to
Bathe all of you
In merciless hellfire!”

The Virtues moved forward and spread their wings wide in a vain attempt to shield the others from the Beast’s wrath. Lucifer was highly amused by the courageous display, smirking as he turned to face them.

“Wait a minute, don’t I know you?
Weren’t you two old friends of mine?
You stood by and watched me get banished,
But now we’re meeting a second time.
We used to have such fun together,
And maybe you have what I need.
But first I have one tiny question:
Tell me, do you Virtues bleed?”

What happened next was a complete blur to the Prince of Darkness. But when the haze of his bloodlust had finally subsided, he found himself the only one left standing in the middle of the room. Ichor and entrails decorated the walls while the limp, eviscerated, and dismembered bodies of his enemies lay strewn about the room. He smiled in satisfaction when he looked down at his feet and saw the decapitated heads of Patience and Temperance… their judgemental eyes forever closed… He raised his left hand and found it dripping with golden angel blood. Raising it to his mouth, he slowly dragged his tongue across his bloodied palm, shuddering at how sweet it tasted.

“Hey, sorry but you just got in my way!
I promise, friends, that I can feel your pain.
And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit,
Does that make me insane?
Your colonization just backfired.
Consider our armistice expired!
And now I have the power to
Bathe all of you
In merciless hellfire!”

He heard animalistic whimpering near the door. Looking in that direction, he saw a group of hellhounds just inside the entrance to the embassy. The angelic barriers had come down when the Virtues were eradicated, permitting the Hellborns to enter. Lucifer didn’t know what or how much they had seen, but whatever they had seen had clearly left them all shaken. Scoffing, the fallen angel picked up his glaives and sheathed them, before striding past the hellhounds towards the exit.

“You’re all going to want to run far away from here,” he warned them.

The hellhounds didn’t second-guess his ominous statement. As the fallen angel stepped outside and spread his wings to take to the sky again, dozens of hellhounds poured out behind him, trying to put as much distance between themselves and the embassy as they could. Most even resorted to running on all fours to give themselves more speed.

Lucifer closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as he gained altitude. Slaughtering those self-righteous trespassers had been cathartic, but now it was time for the coup de grâce.

Focussing his power above the embassy, Lucifer opened the sky and let fire and brimstone rain down upon the Heavenly eyesore.

“Hey, sorry but you just got in my way!
I promise only I can feel your pain.
And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit,
Does that make me insane?
Your feeble coup d’état just backfired.
Consider our armistice expired!
And now I have the power to
Bathe all of you
In merciless hellfire!”

The massive clocktower was the first to fall, its halo splintering, the hourglass shattering and spilling white sand everywhere. Meanwhile, the roof caught fire and quickly spread, engulfing the whole structure in red flames. The sky was polluted with black smoke and the potent stench of sulphur hung in the air. When the roof of the embassy finally collapsed, a wall of black dust and debris rippled outward to cover everything in a two-block radius. Sparks shot high into the sky and then fell like dying stars.

In that moment, Lucifer felt that the flaming inferno in front of him was by far the second most beautiful thing he had ever created.

“Sorry, but you just got in my way.
I promise only I can feel your pain.
And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit,
Does that make me insane?”

Lucifer always had difficulty sleeping the night of an extermination. How Lilith managed to sleep so soundly through the muffled sounds of screaming outside, he didn’t know. But after tossing and turning for nearly an hour, he decided to get up and put on his robe. Sleep obviously wasn’t coming any time soon. Might as well go to the lounge and read for a bit.

He used his magic to materialize a cup of tea in one hand and summon his favourite book to his other hand. He entered the lounge, ready to get comfy in his favourite chair, when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. His young daughter was standing there, facing away from him, staring out the window.

The book and the teacup fell to the floor, the latter shattering and staining the plush carpets.

“Charlie!” Lucifer exclaimed, rushing to her side. “What are you doing?! You were supposed to be in bed hours ago!”

Charlie neither moved nor responded, almost as if she didn’t hear him. She just kept staring out the window. Lucifer grabbed her and clutched her small body to his chest.

“Don’t look, Charlie!”

“Why are those angels hurting people, Daddy?”

“It’ll be okay, Apple Pie… It’s just a nightmare… Don’t look…”

“Daddy… why are those angels killing people?”

Lucifer held her tighter. “I’m sorry, sweetie… I’m so, so sorry…”

Chapter 5: Monster

Chapter Text

“Welcome, Hell sovereign overlords,” Carmilla Carmine addressed the boardroom. “I’m sure you can all guess why I have invited you here today.”

“Are we throwing a party to celebrate Alastor’s ostensible demise?” Vox asked with a grin before turning to his right and bumping fists with Valentino.

“Come now, Vox,” Rosie chided him. “Don’t be a bastard.”

“We’re here, of course, to discuss Lord Lucifer,” Carmilla said stiffly. “It’s been little over a day since the failed extermination and he’s completely out of control.”

“I don’t see the issue,” Velvette said, taking five rapid-fire selfies. “It’s about time someone down here nutted up and made a real power-grab.”

“He declared war on an entire realm,” Carmilla stated. “A realm that is far more organized and better-equipped than we would be even if we were given a century to prepare.”

“So what?” Velvette shrugged. “We outnumber them ten to one.”

“Thou hast failed to consider what consequences wouldst incur if Heaven and Hell were to war openly,” Zestial commented. “Evil is necessary that good mayest exist. If one wouldst destroy the other, the cosmic balance would be ever altered. Earth wouldst fall into chaos. Our realm as we know it torn asunder. Left unchecked, this mad king might destroy everything we hath built.”

“I’m not willing to risk the destruction of our world so Lucifer can satisfy his lust for vengeance,” Carmilla said. “And his recent activities have been more than disruptive. He sent his hellhound goons to seize almost all of my inventory for his new army. Had the audacity to call it ‘Hell’s Patriot Act’.”

“I’ll admit it’s getting tedious airing his propaganda every hour,” Vox said. “Like, hello? We get it! You hate Heaven! Can we please get back to World’s Funniest Car Accidents?”

“On the plus side, this impending war has been great for the p*rn industry,” Valentino said as he took a drag from his cigarette. As he exhaled pink smoke, he noticed that the other overlords were all staring at him. “What? Imminent doom is hot.”

“What hath the other Sins to speak of this?” Zestial asked, changing the subject back to the matter at hand.

Carmilla sighed. “Balphegor and Leviathan won’t answer my calls. Asmodeus and Beelzebub don’t want to get involved. Satan actually supports this madness and Mammon…” Carmilla scoffed. “Mammon thinks this whole tragic affair is wildly amusing.”

“Then I suppose we’re on our own,” Rosie said, fanning herself.

“Ha! You want to go head-to-head with the King of Hell?” Velvette asked. “You’re even dumber than I thought! What do you think you could do against the unstoppable force of nature that he’s become?”

“I won’t deny that he’s become dangerous,” Carmilla said. “But at the end of the day, he’s still nothing more than an angel. His kind are not invincible. They can be harmed… and I know how.”

Velvette smirked. “I f*ckin’ knew it.”

Vox snorted. “Ha… you’re not actually serious? You think you can kill Lucifer Morningstar?”

“I know I can.”

“That’s completely insane!” Vox exclaimed.

“Alastor would have advised against it,” Rosie said.

“I love this plan!” Vox immediately amended his position.

“Dost thou think this course of action sound?” Zestial asked. “Our ruler hath demonstrated his capacity for vengeance be limitless. Shouldst thou fail…”

“Failure is not an option,” Carmilla said. “I will not let anyone – not even the Lord of Hell himself – bring the wrath of Heaven to our doorsteps. I have too much to lose. For the sake of everything we hold dear, this mad king must die.”

Emily had never known pain. She had spent her whole existence in Heaven, where pain wasn’t supposed to exist. The closest thing she ever felt to pain was the day she discovered Sera had been hiding the truth of the annual exterminations from her. That was the pain of betrayal… the feeling of sadness for all those poor souls in Hell who had been slaughtered. The indignation of knowing that her own sister had been lying to her for her entire life.

But Emily hadn’t been prepared for the physical pain…

As she awoke from her stupor, all she knew was the blinding agony in her back. She didn’t even have the vocabulary to describe what she was feeling. Was it burning? Stabbing? Aching? All she knew was that she would do anything to make it stop.

Struggling against the pain, Emmy pushed herself up on shaky arms and looked around. She had been laying on a cold, dirty floor in a darkened room. A stone wall loomed behind her and she noticed a chain of angelic steel bolted to the floor. Following it, she discovered that the other end of the chain was shackled around her neck. She tried slipping her fingers under the cuff and pulling, but it was locked tight. She was trapped.

The room was bitterly cold. Colder than anything she had ever experienced in the warm light of Heaven. Shivering, she went to draw her wings around herself for warmth.

Her wings…

Why couldn’t she move her wings?

Trembling, Emily slowly looked over her shoulder. Though it took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, all the breath left her lungs when she finally saw the source of her pain…

Her wings were gone! All that remained of her glorious wings were six bloodied stumps with a few shimmering white feathers still clinging to them. Her mouth hung open in a silent scream as a whole new form of agony washed over her.

“Heavenly Father, help me,” she whispered.

“He can’t hear you down here.”

Emily yelped in alarm, turning to look in the direction of the voice that had just spoken. A small, red flame hovered there in the darkness. As it slowly drew closer, that flame began to illuminate the features of the speaker. The first things Emily was able to make out were the red horns that framed the flickering flame. Then the golden snake halo. Finally, his face came into view. Red and yellow eyes that glowed dimly in the dark. A twisted smile full of sharp, white fangs. His face and hands were covered in golden angel blood. Terrified, Emily gave a little shriek.

“Oh, don’t worry,” he said calmly. “None of this blood is mine.”

“You’re Lucifer, aren’t you?” Emily cried. They had never been formally introduced, but there had been a striking resemblance between him and Charlie. At least there had been before his rage brought out this horrifying transformation.

“Guilty as charged,” he said as he began to slowly pace in front of her. As he did so, Emily could make out his six large red and white wings, the tips of which dragged along the dusty floor as he moved. Charlie had described him as goofy and playful, absentminded, somewhat distant but altogether a loving and caring father. He didn’t resemble that man at all anymore. He seemed more like the Beast other angels told scary stories about around campfires in Heaven.

“Where am I?” Emily demanded, summoning up her courage.

“Do you like it?” Lucifer asked, spreading his arms. “You’re in the dungeon of my new fortress. I made it myself… raised it from the crumbling rubble of the Hazbin Hotel. It’s from here that my new army will stage its attack on Heaven.”

“Attack Heaven?!” Emily exclaimed. “No, you can’t–!”

“Heaven will pay for what it’s taken from me!” Lucifer growled. “All of the Heavenly beings will know my rage and suffer!”

“You can’t do this!” Emily pleaded. “Charlie wouldn’t want–”

Lucifer snarled, grabbing the chain around her neck and yanking her upwards, effectively cutting off her airflow and silencing her.

“My daughter would want to be alive today,” Lucifer hissed. “And she would be, if Heaven had respected our sovereignty.”

He immediately released the chain, letting her drop to the ground gasping for air. Emily grasped the manacle around her neck and looked up at him fearfully. “Are you going to kill me?”

Lucifer turned away from her, his hands clasped behind his back. “I imagine I will.”

“Then why not just get it over with?” she asked miserably.

She saw one glowing red eye glance back at her over his shoulder. “Because you’re far more useful to me alive. As long as you’re down here, the High Seraphim will stop at nothing to get here. When I’m ready, I’ll let her. Once she opens that portal, nothing can stop my demonic army from getting through. Then we’ll burn the Golden City to ashes.”

“That will never happen!” Emily said defiantly. “Sera won’t let you!”

“Oh, I disagree… I imagine Sera would do anything to save you.”

“What makes you think Sera would risk the safety of all of Heaven’s souls just for me?”

Lucifer spun around to face her. “Foolish girl! Do you really think I don’t know who you are?! It’s obvious! You look just like her!”

Emily put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. She had hoped that he wouldn’t be able to guess her relationship to the High Seraphim. This would only make things even harder for Sera.

“Poor child,” Lucifer said with false pity. “You know, I don’t think we’re so different, you and I.”

“We’re not the same,” Emily sniffled. “I’m loyal to Heaven. You turned your back on it.”

“Is that what Sera told you?”

“She told me you’re the reason there’s sin in the world. She said you thought you knew better than anyone else, and your pride destroyed the paradise they tried to build. She said you deserved no less than the punishment they gave you.”

“I see,” Lucifer said apathetically as he picked at a claw. “And that’s all she told you?”

“What else is there to know?”

The fallen angel smirked and turned his glance back to his captive. “You know what I see when I look at you?” he asked. “I see the youngest, weakest angel in Heaven, constantly shoved aside, always treated like a foolish child with no worthwhile thoughts or ideas of her own.”

“That not true!”

“They don’t trust you, do they?”

“You’re wrong!”

“They didn’t even tell you about the exterminations, did they?!”

Emily sobbed. “Stop it…”

“You’re expected to just tow the line and go along with whatever they tell you. I’ll bet they even threatened to cast you out if you dared to question them, didn’t they?”

“That’s not… They didn’t…”

“You see, child? We are exactly alike. I know because I was just like you once… full of life and dreams… And they crushed me because my ingenuity scared them.” He brought his face close to hers. “Mark my words… one day, they will crush you too…”

Emily edged away from him until her back touched the wall. When she could retreat no further, she simply hugged her knees to her chest and curled into herself. She had no defense against his cruel words, and she couldn’t fight back her tears any longer.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he told her. “I can save you from them.”

“S-save me?” she whimpered.

“I took your wings, but I left your halo. All you have to do is break your halo. Renounce Heaven. Take my hand and swear fealty to me. They beat you down, but I’ll raise you up. You were but a servant in Heaven, but down here… down here you can rule with me.”

“No,” Emily choked. “No, I’d never do that! I’ll never renounce Heaven!”

He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. “You will!” he hissed, his talons digging into her cheeks until golden blood began to trickle down her jaw. “It’s the only way you will survive! You will join me or you will perish!”

The rage flickered out as quickly as it had come on and Lucifer released Emily, regarding her with a cool smile.

“Sooner or later, you’ll come around to my way of thinking,” he said confidently. “Because you are just like me. You just require a little… persuasion…”

“What are you going to do to me?” Emily whimpered fearfully.

Lucifer smirked, spreading his arms as he backed away into the shadows.

“Whatever it takes.”

A moment later, Emily could no longer see him in the darkness. But she could feel his eyes on her everywhere. She curled into a tight ball and leaned against the cold stone wall behind her.

“What’s this place? Who’s that face?
Why is this happening?
All I wanted was to save Charlie’s poor hotel.
Now I’m stuck, can’t escape
From this fiery torment.
Woke up in Heaven, now I’m an angel in Hell.”

She heard his laughter echoing through the darkness. Trembling, she clutched her head in her hands.

“See that grin, through the flames,
The wicked devil is looming.
Whatever does he want? Why won’t he let me be?
He’s a beast, evil priest,
Don’t give in to him, Emmy.
Fall for his lies, and you will never be free.”

Emily felt a sick, dark feeling clutch at her heart, paralyzing her with fear. Then Lucifer’s voice reached out to her and she swore she could feel his hot breath on her ear.

“You are broken and forsaken,
Heaven cannot reach you now.
Darkness in me has awakened,
I’ll get through to you somehow.”

Even with her back up against the wall, she thought that she could feel his clawed fingers clutching at her shoulders. She sobbed and put her hands over her ears, but she couldn’t block out his voice.

“I’ll give you wealth, give you fame,
Give you ultimate power!
Just give up and give in and fall under my spell.
You were safe and secure
In your ivory tower,
Now you don’t stand a chance, cuz you’re an angel in Hell!”

Emily tried to tear away from the disembodied voice, pitching forward and landing prone on the dirty floor. But his voice was still there, right by her ear, mocking her.

“Your dress is ripped, wings are clipped,
Just a pathetic lost soul!
You have fallen to the pit where the demons dwell.
Stand with me and be free
And submit to my control!
It’s a match meant to be, cuz we’re both angels in Hell.”

Emily gathered what courage she could and raised her voice.

“I will never be swayed, not by an angel who fell!”

The Beast merely laughed in response.

“You’d better think twice, cuz I’m the Angel of Hell!”

With that declaration, his voice faded away and Emily felt his presence retreat, leaving her alone in the cold and the darkness.

Chapter 6: Anguish

Chapter Text

“Good evening, I’m Katie Killjoy!”

“And I’m Dan Darkcaster!”

“Nobody gives a f*ck who you are, Dan! Breaking news in Hell today! Our laudable leader, master of misery, duke of darkness, and totally bangable bad boy Lucifer Morningstar has got a hate-boner for Heaven, and I sure hope they’ve got lots of lube up there because he’s about to rawdog that bitch!”

“How’s he going to do that, Katie?!”

“I’m glad you asked, Dan! Our malevolent monarch is taking a page out of the United States Constitution and introducing conscription to Hell for the very first time!”

“That sounds pretty evil, Katie!”

“Shut the f*ck up, Dan! I do the talking around here! Beginning today, all able-bodied sinners are expected to report to Fort Charlotte, formerly the Hazbin Hotel, for military training! And if you’re not an able-bodied sinner, go anyway! They could use the meat shields!”

“Russia has conscription too!”

“God, I miss Tom!”

Asmodeus switched off the television, noticing that the news reel was making his partner uneasy. “I think we’ll steer clear of Pride for a while,” he said, putting an arm around Fizzaroli.

The jester imp had his knees hugged to his chest, looking uncharacteristically troubled. “I’m worried, Ozz,” he said.

“Babe, don’t worry about a thing!” Asmodeus said, forcing cheerfulness into his tone. “This will all blow over!”

“He’s forcing people to fight…”

“Only sinners, babe.”

“Sinners are people too, Ozz!” Fizzaroli protested. “And how long before that lunatic decides to start drafting Hellborns? Or worse…” Tears began to well up in the imp’s eyes. “What if he decides to force the Sins to fight? What if he decides to make you fight?”

“Is that what’s got you so worried, Froggy?” Asmodeus took his hand comfortingly. “Don’t be. I’m not going off to fight in any stupid war.”

“But he’s our ruler…”

“He may be our king, but I’m not on his leash!” Asmodeus said firmly. “I don’t care what happens in Pride, I am not leaving you!”

Fizzaroli curled into the Sin of Lust’s side while Asmodeus cradled him gently. A few tranquil moments passed before the imp spoke again.

“What if Heaven wins?”

“It’s not gonna come to that, Fizzy. Mark my words, Lucifer will call this whole thing off after he calms down and realizes he can’t win.”

“I don’t know if he really will, Ozz,” Fizzaroli said. “He’s acting crazy. What if he really goes through with it? Do you think Heaven will stop at the Pride ring when they fight back?”

“Froggy, I’m sure Heaven doesn’t want this war any more than the rest of us do.”

“I just think things are getting out of hand real fast,” Fizzaroli said quietly. “Maybe… it’s time someone reached out to him?”

Asmodeus shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. “Oh, no. I already said I wasn’t getting involved.”

“Ozz, come on,” Fizzaroli implored him. “You guys are friends.”

“More like work buddies.”

“Remember he sent us those matching gold co*ck-rings after you told all of Hell that you loved me?”

Asmodeus sighed. “Damn, that was classy of him.”

“Everyone knows you’re his favourite of the Seven.”

“I think he’s tighter with Satan these days.”

“Oh please, the last thing Lucifer needs is that mustachioed meat-head getting in his ear. You know that idiot’s selling angelic combat routines on his workout app now?”

“I know, I’ve seen the ads. Can you believe people will pay $34.99 for that crap?”

“Ozzie, please,” Fizzaroli said, laying his small hands on the Sin’s broad chest. “I know that Lucifer respects you. Just… talk to him. Let him know he’s still got one good friend.”

Asmodeus felt his resolve melt away. “Oh, you know I can’t say no to that cute little face.”

Fizzaroli grinned. “That’s why I use it.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to him.”

“Thanks, Ozzie. Wanna tie me up and use me like a pocket puss* before you go?”

“Oh, Hell yes,” Asmodeus grinned. “I’m already wearing my co*ck-ring!”

Fizzaroli pulled out a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs and cuffed himself in a flash. “One thing I’ll say about all this doomsday talk,” he said. “The sex has never been hotter!”

Emily woke up from her near comatose state to the sound of anguished screams. Waking up in this place was always disorienting. She would forget where she was, thinking for a few blissful seconds that she was home in her own bed in Heaven where she belonged. But then the darkness and the smells and the sounds would reach her and she would realize that she was still stuck in this nightmare.

There was no mistaking this place for home this time, however. Such screams were never heard in Heaven. No, there was only one place in the cosmos that could birth such a horrible sound.

Another ragged scream followed up by a sob.

“Tell me what I want to know and the pain will stop.”

“I swear I don’t know anything!”

“You were found looting medical supplies. You weren’t badly injured. So obviously those supplies were for someone who is. Tell me where they’re hiding.”

“Please just let me go!”

Another scream rang out.

“Tell me where they are, or I’ll take the rest of your fingers.”

Emily pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. The dungeon was now dimly lit, and she was finally able to get a better look at her surroundings. There were no cells that she could see, only chains dangling from the walls and ceiling in a large open space.

Towards the centre of the room, she saw a truly gruesome sight. Two Exorcists were bound to chairs, back-to-back. It looked like their wings had been crudely hacked off. One of them was slumped forward, covered in blood and clearly dead. The second was sobbing in pain and in fear as Lucifer had a hold of her pearly white hair, yanking her head back while he held an angelic blade to her throat.

“Please,” she begged. “I-I don’t want to…”

“Do you want to end up like your comrade?” Lucifer demanded, pressing the blade into her skin until golden blood began to flow. “Because I have no problem flaying you alive too.”

“Alright! Alright!” the angel yelped. “The Devil’s Diner! They’re hiding in the ruins of the Devil’s Diner!”

“Now don’t you feel better getting that off your chest?”

“Please let me go, now,” she whimpered.

“Hmm,” Lucifer hummed, withdrawing the blade from her throat. “No.”

“But I told you what you wanted!”

“And I appreciate your cooperation. But you see, my dear, you’re in Hell now. And everything in Hell is mine.”

“You’re wrong,” Emily said croakily from her place by the wall. “We are not yours.”

Lucifer turned his red-and-yellow gaze towards Emily. A pleased smirk lit up his face. “Oh, good! You’re awake! And just as I was beginning to get bored!” He turned back to the Exorcist. “Hold this, please.” Then he plunged the angelic dagger through her skull, instantly killing her.

“No!” Emily cried as the angel slumped forward lifelessly. “Why did you do that?!”

“Because I was done with her,” Lucifer said nonchalantly, wiping his hands on his sleeves. “Besides, I have something better to play with now.”

“I’m not your plaything!” Emily retorted.

“Who said I was talking about you?” He stepped to the side, allowing Emily to see what was just behind him on the other side of the room. When Emily saw what was there, she would have vomited if her stomach wasn’t already empty.

The body of Adam was chained to the opposite wall, his arms outstretched in a pose reminiscent of the Christian Saviour. His golden wings hung limply behind him. His face was an utter mess, with the left eye socket being completely empty and exposed bone sticking through mangled flesh in some places. Most horrifyingly of all, his chest was still gaping open, his ribcage pried apart to expose the organs within.

It was then that Emily realized that his heart was still beating.

“He’s alive?” Emily whispered. “How can that be?”

“It’s very simple,” Lucifer said. “I’m using my magic to keep him alive.”

“Why would you do that?!”

“Because this–” Lucifer pointed at Adam’s broken body, “–is what all sinners deserve! You think I would let him off so easily by granting him the release of death? Never! He deserves nothing less than an eternity of suffering for everything he has done! And that’s exactly what I’m giving him!”

“You’re depraved!”

“For millennia he took sick pleasure in the wholesale slaughter of my subjects. Is he not also depraved? Isn’t this why sinners end up in Hell? To be punished?”

“No! Not like– no!” She clutched her head. He was twisting everything she thought she knew, leaving her confused and unsteady. She didn’t want to question these things anymore. She just wanted to go home… back to the way things were…

She gasped when she felt taloned fingers stroke the top of her head. She looked up and saw him looking down at her with those demonic red eyes. She hadn’t even heard him close the distance between them! His eyes were cold, cruel and calculating, but there was something else behind them too. A twisted kind of tenderness?

“I don’t think I ever caught your name,” he said.

“So?” she sniffled.

“I would very much like to know it.”

Emily looked away. As if she was going to exchange pleasantries with this monster. Then she whimpered when she felt his claws dig into her scalp slightly… threateningly…

“Didn’t Sera teach you that it’s rude to ignore your betters?”

The little angel choked back a sob. “Emily,” she whispered.

“Speak up.”

“It’s Emily,” she said, raising her voice.

“Emily,” he murmured as his hand slid off her head.

Next thing she knew, he had taken a knee next to her. He was much closer than she wanted him to be.

“Emily,” he repeated. “From the Latin aemulus. Meaning laborious and eager. Although, in some translations, it means rival.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Did Sera ever tell you why you were created?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m merely wondering if you ever questioned your purpose in the cosmos.”

“I know my purpose,” she said defiantly. “It’s my job to spread light and joy to the people of Heaven, and the righteous souls on Earth.”

Lucifer co*cked an eyebrow. “Is that so? How interesting.”

“What’s interesting?”

“Interesting how one who spreads light has spent so much of her life in the dark. Figuratively, and now quite literally.”

“You don’t make any sense.”

“Tell me, Emily… Do you know what my name means?”

“What…? Why would I…?”

“Lucifer… the Latin word for ‘light-bringer’.”

“W-what?” Emily stuttered. “Are you saying…?”

“Yes,” he practically hissed. “I was the one who used to bring light and joy to all creation. And I was f*cking good at it! I gave the humans everything they wanted! I gave and gave and gave until there was nothing left to give! So then I gave the greatest gift of all – free will! And how did those creatures thank me? They used their free will to poison the world with evil! That is why I punish them. All sinners deserve to suffer for perverting a gift that was given with the best of intentions!”

“Why are you telling me this?” Emily whispered.

Lucifer smiled. “Because, my dear… now you know that you were created merely to replace me. Now you know that you only exist because I fell. You see, I’ve always considered knowledge to be a gift. I’ve given you the gift of the truth… Something our sister has denied you for far too long.”

Emily felt like she had been punched in the gut. “Our… sister?”

“You’re not very quick on the uptake, are you?” Lucifer said with a laugh. “Yes, Plan B, our sister!”

Emily shook her head. “No! No! That’s not true! You’re lying!”

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” he told her. “Not about this.”

Tears flowed freely down her face as she screamed into her hands. “No! You can’t be! I can’t be!”

“Poor little angel,” Lucifer said with mock pity. “You’ve been lied to, sheltered, and insulated against reality for your entire life. And now you’ve been abandoned to a realm you could never survive in on your own.”

Emily felt one of his large wings curl around her, as if offering comfort. Then one cold, taloned hand cradled her head against his shoulder while the other one stroked her silky white hair.

“Don’t worry,” he cooed. “Everything will be fine. Your big brother will take care of you now.”

The last thing she remembered was being held. Then suddenly, she was flying. Then there was a glorious light. And then there was nothing.

It felt like she had been floating in the ether for countless ages, trapped in a dream of a dream. But somehow, she knew she wasn’t alone. And she wasn’t afraid. Words were exchanged that she couldn’t quite recall. A voice she couldn’t quite place. Surroundings that were both alien and oh so familiar.

And for the briefest of moments, everything made sense.

“Well done, good and faithful servant.”

“Hi-ya! Welcome to Heaven! Can I get your na–? Oh, sh*t! It’s you again!”

“Huh?” she murmured groggily, squinting against the bright lights all around her. She felt like she had just woken up from the longest sleep.

“Honey, we have got to stop meeting like this!” Saint Peter said as he flew down from his podium by the Pearly Gates. “You’re going to give me an angelic little heart attack if you’re not careful!”

“Saint Peter?” Charlie mumbled. “What…? How…? How did I get here?”

“Well, if I had to guess by looking at you, it would appear that you’re quite dead.”

“Dead?” Charlie repeated. “Like… dead-dead?”

“Congratulations!” Saint Peter said enthusiastically. “Welcome to your afterlife!”

Chapter 7: Demon in Heaven

Chapter Text

“So over there is the Seventh Heaven Café, and the zoo is just down Halo Crescent… oh, but I guess you’ve been there before… I’m sorry, I don’t usually have repeat guests.”

Charlie was only half-listening to Saint Peter, still numb from the revelation of her death. As the saint prattled on, she stopped in front of a sparkling clean storefront window. She could see her reflection in its surface. Her usual red outfit had been replaced with a completely white one. Her red eyes were now a warm violet. Above her head, a white halo floated like a crown. Charlie tilted her head this way and that way, and found that the halo followed wherever she moved.

But the most surprising difference was the pair of wings coming out of her back. Charlie stretched them out to admire them. They were big, with soft red and white feathers, like her father’s.

Charlie’s heart sank when she thought of her father. He must have been devastated when she died. And Vaggie… did she make it out alive? Did anyone else die?

“Ahem, Miss Morningstar!” Saint Peter said with a touch of annoyance.

“Oh, sorry sir,” Charlie apologized.

“As I was saying, you’ll be joining the ‘Sudden Death’ orientation group today. They’ll get you settled in. Third floor of the Department of Arrivals.” Saint Peter pointed to the large building in front of them. “Just take the lift and follow the signs. In a couple of hours, you’ll be well on your way to the rest of your afterlife!”

Having followed Saint Peter’s directions, Charlie found herself on the third floor of the Department of Arrivals. When the elevator doors opened, Charlie was greeted by a large conference hall with dozens of human souls already mingling about. Most of them looked like they had been through an ordeal.

“It all happened so fast…”

“The car came out of nowhere.”

“He had a gun.”

Charlie hugged herself anxiously. She was pretty sure that her death was nothing like anyone else’s in this room – killed by a psychopathic angel in a battle for the souls of Hell. She sighed and stared at the floor.

“Charlie? Charlie, issss that you?”

Charlie’s eyes widened when she heard that voice. It couldn’t be, could it?

A snake-like being pushed through the crowd, his eyes glowing with delight.

“Charlie!” Sir Pentious exclaimed happily. “You’re here!”

“Pentious!” Charlie exclaimed. “You’re an angel!”

“You’re an angel!”

“We’re angels!”

“You look amazing!”

“So do you!”

Sir Pentious did look good. His black and yellow scales were now blue and white, and his cobra hood now appeared almost like wings. Similar to Charlie, his clothes were all white, with a white halo floating over his top hat.

Charlie ran to the former sinner and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Sir Pentious happily returned the embrace.

“This is amazing! This is incredible! I thought I was never going to see you again! But you’re here! And that means–!” Charlie suddenly gasped. “It worked… It worked. It worked! The hotel worked!”

“Sssssouls in Hell can be redeemed!” Sir Pentious said, scarcely believing it himself.

“They can! You’re walking, talking proof! If we get you in front of the High Seraphim, that will put an end to all future exterminations for sure!”

“Alright, settle down,” a gruff voice said. “Please take your seats.”

Charlie and Sir Pentious turned to see a cherub flutter into the room. It had the appearance of a fluffy pink kitten, yet it sounded like a pack-a-day smoker whose soul had slowly withered away under the monotony of bureaucracy. The newly arrived souls all found their chairs while the cherub fluttered up to a podium at the front of the room.

“Hello,” the cherub said. “My name is Helga Haven, this is Heaven, and you’re dead.”

“Um, excuse me?” one soul said, raising his hand.

“Please hold your questions until the end of the orientation,” Helga said dully.

“No, you don’t understand, I really can’t be here yet… See, I’ve got a wife and two small kids. I really need to be there for them.”

“You don’t say?” Helga droned. “You’re the first soul I’ve met who left loved ones behind.”

“Uh… are you being sarcastic?”

“If you have to ask, the rest of this orientation is going to go over your head.” She looked at her clipboard. “Mr. Justin Goode? Says here you drowned after you jumped into a river to save a child. How noble of you. And the child even survived. Well, that’s good news for you. They’re gonna name a bridge after you and your wife is gonna remarry a local politician. Your son will grow up to be a firefighter and your daughter will become a doctor… both inspired to help others because of your sacrifice. Doesn’t get much better than that.”

“But… I’m going to miss seeing my kids grow up!”

“Actually, pursuant to Section Five, Subsection C of the Heavenly Rights Act, you get to look in on your family whenever you want to. And since you died saving a life, Subsection F allows you to grant each of your surviving children special blessings once biannually for the next twenty years.”

“Oh… so I still kind of get to be with them in a way?”

“That’s correct.”

“And I can see them whenever I want?”

“Yes, but try to avoid looking in on them while they’re masturbating. It’s not strictly prohibited, but it’s weird.”

“Er… right.”

“Death is a difficult thing to accept, especially when it comes suddenly,” the cherub droned on as if she had practiced this same speech every day for the past millennium. “But understand that all of your loved ones will eventually grieve you and move on, content in knowing that your souls are in a better place.”

“Um, excuse me!” Charlie called out, raising her hand.

“I thought I asked you to please hold your questions.”

“Well, it’s not a question per se,” Charlie said, standing up. “It’s just… I really need to talk to the High Seraphim, as soon as possible. How do I do that?”

“Honey, I’ve been working here for the past two thousand years, and I don’t get to talk to the High Seraphim.”

“Oh, but this is really important!”

“And you’re saying I’m not?”

“Oh, no! Not at all! I’m sure this whole… thing you’re doing is very important! I’m sure it’s very, very rewarding! But um, see, millions of souls in Hell depend on me talking to Sera… the High Seraphim… Yeah, we’ve met before, I think she’s okay with me using her first name…”

“Name-dropping is not becoming,” the cherub said with an eye-roll. She looked at her clipboard again. “Miss… Morningstar? I know that name.”

“You’ve probably heard of my father. Lucifer Morningstar?”

“What did I say about name-dropping?”

“Sorry.”

“Wait,” one of the other souls spoke up. “Your father is Satan?”

“What?” Charlie asked, furrowing her brow. “No, my father is Lucifer. Satan’s just his personal trainer.”

“What is a child of Beelzebub doing in Heaven?” another soul demanded.

“Um, once again, my father is Lucifer. I barely know Beelzebub. I mean, I did go to one of her parties once, and she seemed nice, but she was just kinda… a lot, you know.”

“I guess we’re just name-dropping everyone now,” Helga said bitterly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Charlie said sheepishly.

“You can file a motion for a private audience with the High Seraphim under Section 239 of the Heavenly Constitution. File your 2W form at the Heavenly Courthouse and wait for a herald to bring you a response.”

“How long will that take?”

“Optimistically? Six to nine months.”

“But I can’t wait that long!” Charlie protested. “I need to get back to Hell as soon as possible!”

“Well now, that is a first.”

“How can I contact Hell, then? My dad can get me a meeting right away.”

“I’m afraid that will be quite impossible,” Helga said.

“No it’s not! Heaven contacts my dad all the time through the Heavenly Embassy!”

“File your 2W, or forget about meeting the High Seraphim.”

“Oh, yeah? Well… uh… file your 2W up your own ass! …Bitch!”

Gasps rang out among the souls in the room. Helga’s eyes flared with a murderous spark that Charlie hadn’t seen since her interview with Katie Killjoy. Charlie let out a nervous laugh as the kitten cherub puffed up. Then Helga let out a hellish yowl as she lunged at Charlie.

“Sssssso, are you going to file that 2W thing?” Sir Pentious asked as he used a cotton ball to dab at yet another claw mark on Charlie’s face.

“What’s the point?” Charlie sighed. “Sera’s never going to agree to see me again. I have to get you in front of her somehow. Once she sees the proof that the Hazbin Hotel works, she’ll have to stop the exterminations!” She winced as Sir Pentious dabbed at a particularly deep cut.

“Ssssssorry,” he apologized. “The cherub wassss a nassssty little thing.”

“She’d be right at home at the Hell DMV,” Charlie said with a humourless snort. She paused when she saw her blood on the cotton ball. “Gold blood,” she commented. “Just like a real angel.”

“Now the inssssssides match the outsssssssides,” Sir Pentious said with a toothy smile.

She stared at the bloodied cotton ball for a few moments in silence. Then she looked up at the former sinner.

“Pentious?”

“Yessss?”

“Do you remember anything? After you died, but before you woke up here?”

Pentious shrugged his shoulders. “Ssssssort of. It wassss weird… Like a…”

“Like a dream?”

“You sssssaw it too?”

“I think… maybe… I can’t remember much… But I know that I wasn’t alone. Before I woke up, a voice told me that I did a good job.”

“It sssssspoke to me, too. It told me sssssomething… a quote I remember from the Book of John… ‘Greater love hath no man than thisssss, than to lay down hissss life for hissss friendsssss.’”

Charlie smiled softly and looked out at the sea. From where they were sitting on a café patio, they had a perfect view of the beach. The sun was low on the horizon, lighting the sky with beautiful shades of pink and orange. But as far as Charlie could tell, the sun never actually set in this place. It was never dark here… always light. It truly was the most beautiful place in the cosmos.

“Do you think Cherri would like it here?” Sir Pentious asked quietly.

Charlie took his hand and squeezed it. “I know she would like it because you’re here.”

Sir Pentious blushed a bit. “I hope I sssssee her again. I don’t know how, though… If you’re here, who will run the hotel and help ssssssinners get redeemed?”

Charlie rested her chin in her hands. “I don’t understand why there’s all these rules and red tape. Why can’t I just talk to Sera? Why can’t I just talk to my dad?” She sighed. “Dad… Vaggie… I just want them all to know that I’m okay and that I’m trying to get back to them.”

“Too bad there isssssn’t a Hell Embasssssssy where you can talk to sssssomeone directly.”

Charle’s head shot up. “That’s it! Pentious, you’re a genius!”

“I am? I mean, I am, but, why do you think ssssso?”

“If there’s a Heaven Embassy in Hell, then there must be Hell Embassy in Heaven! And if there’s a Hell Embassy, there must be a Hell ambassador there I can talk to!”

“Right! Ssssso, uh… where do we find the Hell Embasssssssy?”

“I can think of one angel who knows where everything is,” Charlie murmured. “And as luck would have it, he’s right over there!”

Sir Pentious followed where she was pointing and saw Saint Peter sitting a few tables away from them, sipping coffee as he read The Heavenly Post. Charlie was up in a flash and made her way over to him.

“Saint Peter!” she exclaimed. “I need your help!”

“Honey, do you mind?” the saint asked with a hint of annoyance. “I’m on my break.”

“Is there a Hell Embassy in Heaven?”

“Well honey, of course there is!” he sing-songed. “Diplomacy is a two-way street, after all.”

“How do I get there?”

“Oh, it’s really easy, darlin’… First you take Angelic Avenue onto Serenity Street, take your third left at Celestial Circle and then an immediate right onto Heavenly Heights, follow that until it turns into Paradise Lane and then your second right onto Elysium Boulevard… then you just keep heading straight until you hit a dead end. The Highway to Hell will be on your immediate left, and the Hell Embassy is the only building.”

“Uh… huh…” Charlie said, slowly nodding. “Um… do you think you could draw me a map?”

Saint Peter sighed and put down his paper. “So much for my daily crossword.”

“Issss this the place?” Sir Pentious asked nervously.

“Yeah. I think so.”

Just as the Heaven Embassy looked out of place in Hell, the Hell Embassy looked completely out of place in Heaven. Its dark, gothic architecture, complete with stone gargoyles, fiery accents, and demonic symbols were a stark contrast to the clean, sleek design of Heaven’s buildings. There was a fountain out front, but instead of water it spewed lava. Nothing grew in the dirt surrounding the building, almost as if the ground itself was cursed.

“Did it ever occur to you how terrifying Hell must be to outsssssiders?” Sir Pentious wondered.

“I guess if you’re used to Heaven, Hell must seem pretty creepy,” Charlie mused.

It was little wonder the Hell Embassy was located so far out of the way. There was a sense of dread and foreboding that was heavy in the air. It certainly didn’t look as warm or inviting as the rest of Heaven did.

“Let’s go in,” Charlie said. “There’s gotta be someone inside who can help us.”

The pair cautiously approached the huge doors. Charlie pushed against one of them. It was heavy, but with some effort she managed to get it open. The doors opened to a small foyer that was lit by seven flickering torches mounted on columns across the back wall. Each torch burned a different colour of hellfire for each of the seven rings of Hell. Behind each torch, the corresponding sigil of each Deady Sin was etched into stone. On the left were sigils of Mammon, Beelzebub, and Satan, represented by the green, yellow, and orange flames. On the right were the sigils of Baphomet, Leviathan, and Asmodeus, represented by the pink, purple, and blue flames. In the centre, and elevated a bit above the others, was the sigil of Lucifer, represented by the red flame.

In front of the columns was a tall, wooden desk. It was empty, save for a brass call bell. Recalling the sign-in procedure at the Heaven Embassy, Charlie walked over and tapped the bell, making it ding. In a burst of white flames, a sign-in sheet appeared on the surface of the desk, along with a sharp pin made of angelic steel.

“No pen?” Sir Pentious asked.

“I think we’re supposed to sign with blood,” Charlie said, picking up the pin in one hand and holding up one finger on her other hand.

“Ew!” Sir Pentious exclaimed. “That sssseems unnecessssssary!”

“I didn’t make the rules,” Charlie said, poking her finger with the pin until she drew blood. Sir Pentious gulped, taking the pin from her and following her lead. They each pressed their finger to the sign-in sheet, leaving a smear of gold blood behind. The paper disappeared in another burst of white flames and a door creaked open behind the desk. It was too dark to see if there was anyone inside the room.

“I don’t want to go in there,” Sir Pentious said nervously.

“It’ll be okay, Pen,” Charlie said. “I’ll go first.”

Steeling her nerve, Charlie stepped around the desk and poked her head inside the room that had just opened up.

“Hello?” she called inside.

There was no answer.

“Hello?” she said again, cautiously entering the dark room. “Is anyone here? I need to speak to an ambassador. My name is Princess Charlie Morningstar. I’m from Hell.”

Blinding light suddenly flooded the room, causing Charlie to cry out and cover her eyes.

“Charlotte!” a voice cried. “Is that you?!”

Charlie gasped, squinting her eyes at the person who had spoken.

“Mom?”

Chapter 8: Fractured

Chapter Text

Lucifer was in the midst of a major depressive episode. He hadn’t eaten or slept much in several days. Even crafting his rubber ducks had failed to capture his interest for some time now. All he had done for the past few days was lay in bed and doom-scroll through Sinstagram.

“I’d do her… I’d do her… wouldn’t do her… would do her… not her… do her… do her…”

His Hellphone suddenly vibrated with a text from an unfamiliar number.

“Probably spam,” he murmured.

Then he recalled that Leviathan was constantly buying a new Hellphone every few months whenever a newer and better model came along. They were the Sin of Envy after all, and they always had to have the best. As a result, Lucifer was constantly getting texts from unknown numbers that all ended up being from Leviathan. He’d finally stopped bothering even saving the new numbers in his phone, because he knew there would just be a new number in a matter of months.

Lucifer sighed and opened the new text.

“Heyyy sh*t tit*!”

“Levi?” Lucifer texted back.

Dots appeared on the screen, indicating that the sender was replying. A moment later, a new text popped up.

“Adam f*ckface”

Then another text.

“1st man”

“How did you get this number?” Lucifer texted back, irritated. He received three rapid-fire texts in reply.

“Frum yor wif wile I wus f*ckin her!”

“LOL”

“🍆🍑”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and minimized the text. Then he went back to browsing influencers on Sinstagram.

“I’d do her… I’d do her…”

A few moments later, another text came through from Adam. Lucifer opened it and saw that he had sent an angel emoji with a middle finger emoji. Again, Lucifer chose not to respond and went back to Sinstagram.

He barely scrolled through three more photos before Adam started blowing up his Hellphone with texts. Lucifer tried to ignore them, but they kept coming. Unable to focus any longer, Lucifer growled and opened the texts.

“Asshole”

“Anser me!”

“😇”

“💩”

“😈”

“Dats me takin a sh*t on yor hed”

“LOL”

“Anser me!”

“Played a big gig in halo city last nite”

“I f*cked like 3 groopys”

“👩🏼👩🏽👩🏿🍆🌋”

“ANSER ME BICH!!!”

His ringtone suddenly started going off. Adam was trying to call him. Lucifer sent it straight to voicemail and rolled over onto his side, setting his Hellphone down on the mattress next to him. A minute later his Hellphone screamed, indicating that he had a new voicemail.

“Don’t open it, Luci,” he muttered to himself. “It’s just going to make you feel worse.”

Alas, Beelzebub always said that he was a glutton for punishment. After a few more minutes’ hesitation, he finally picked up his Hellphone and opened the voicemail.

“I can see you reading my texts, asshole!” Adam’s voice yelled through the phone. “You’re making me phone you like some kind of f*cking boomer? You’re lame! Anyhoo, the only reason I’m calling is because I’m making some adjustments to the extermination schedule, but apparently all timetable changes have to be communicated in person with a member of the royal family and my manager’s a real bitch about protocol. Since Lilith isn’t rocking your co*ck anymore, I guess you’re it. So get your short ass down to the embassy in one hour, or next extermination I’m blowing up that sh*tty Hellbucks you’re always posting lame latte photos from!”

“f*cking hell,” Lucifer hissed. He didn’t want to see that arrogant bastard on a good day. The last thing he wanted was to go to the embassy today so Adam could gloat about how sh*tty he looked. He had to get out of it.

His thoughts immediately went to Charlie. Picking up his Hellphone, he quickly found her under his favourite contacts and dialled her number. After a few rings, she picked up.

“Hello? Dad?”

“Hey, sweetie,” Lucifer said, forcing cheerfulness into his tone. “How are you?”

“I’m great, Dad! How are you?”

“Me? Oh, I’m great too. Thanks for asking!”

He was currently laying on his bed in the foetal position, looking anything but great.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“Oh, you know… keeping busy…”

“Same here! I actually just opened a new hotel with my partner!”

“You don’t say?”

“We think we can use it as a place to rehabilitate sinners!”

“That’s nice, dear.”

“If it works out, it could solve Hell’s overpopulation problem!”

“Well, that’s something.”

“Dad, are you even hearing me?”

“Totally, honey. Anyways, I’m calling because I need a big favour from you.”

“Is everything okay, Dad?”

“Of course! Everything’s fine! It’s just, uh… I have this meeting I was supposed to attend today at the Heaven Embassy, and something’s come up… so I won’t be able to make it. I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind standing in for me?”

“A meeting at the Heaven Embassy? What’s this about?”

“Oh, just the leader of the angel army wants to talk about something. Think you can take care of it for your old man?”

“Yeah! I can!” Charlie replied enthusiastically. “Totally! Yeah, I’ll head over there right away!”

“Thanks, Apple Pie. You’re the best.”

“Okay!”

“I love y–”

She had already hung up.

Lucifer sighed and returned to his text chain with Adam.

“Sending my daughter,” he texted the angel.

He got a response almost immediately.

“Cool is she hawt?”

Lucifer frowned in disgust. “Don’t be gross,” he texted back.

“How big her tit*?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and chose to ignore the First Man again. It didn’t take long for the petulant man-child to start sending him a string of texts.

“Yo how big her tit*?”

“🍎 or 🍈?”

“Anser”

“She put ote?”

“She hawt?”

“Anser!”

“f*ck u”

“Asshole”

“She prolly ugli leik u!”

“I f*ck her anyway lol”

“f*ckIN ANSER!!”

Lucifer finally did what he had wanted to from the start and blocked the number.

Lucifer leaned against the tiled wall of his shower as the hot water cascaded down on him. He watched passively as angel blood mixed with water flowed off of his body and ran clean down the drain. The red flame between his horns sizzled constantly as any water that got near it instantly evaporated.

Why was he remembering that day?

He finally shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, shaking his wings to rid them of the excess moisture. He gripped the sides of the porcelain sink and leaned against it for support.

Why was it, at moments like this, that he felt like he couldn’t breathe?

He used his forearm to wipe off the steamed-up mirror. He couldn’t recognize the face that looked back at him anymore. Red eyes, sunken and dead. His hair a mess. Even his wings looked scruffier than they usually did.

Who was he anymore?

Why couldn’t he stop thinking about that day?

“You sent her straight to him,” his reflection seemed to tell him.

“No,” Lucifer murmured.

“You delivered her to your enemy.”

“No…”

“You failed to protect her.”

“No.”

“It’s your fault she’s dead now.”

“No!”

“You may as well have vaporized her yourself.”

“NO!!” Lucifer screamed, smashing his fist into the glass. Mirrored shards rained down into the sink and all over the floor. The devil felt something wet trickle down his arm. When he looked at it, he saw blood pouring out of wounds the glass had left in his fist.

Golden blood.

“Filthy angel,” he muttered, instantly healing himself to spare himself the sight. “Disgusting.”

“Hello?” a voice called from the floor below. “Luce? You here?”

Lucifer used his magic to instantly dry himself off and materialize a set of clean clothes onto his body. Grabbing his hat and his cane, he opened a portal downstairs.

“Hello?” Asmodeus called again. “Anybody home?”

The Sin of Lust shuddered. The Morningstar Manor was unnaturally still and silent. It was kind of creepy.

“What do you want?”

Asmodeus jumped, startled by the sudden appearance of Lucifer stepping out of a portal behind him. The tall Sin composed himself and smiled.

“Hey, Luce!” he said brightly. “You look… uh…” He trailed off, regarding the king’s haggard appearance. “Damn man, you look terrible.”

“I asked what you wanted,” Lucifer said coldly. “If you’re here to play matchmaker again you can tell Jezebel I’m still not interested.”

“Oh, no, I learned my lesson last time,” Asmodeus said. “No, I was just swinging by to check on you… and to offer my condolences.”

“For what?”

“For…? For Charlie, of course.”

“Hmm,” Lucifer grunted. “I suppose I should offer you something to drink.” He materialized a couple of martini glasses in his hands. “You still like yours dirty, right?”

Asmodeus gratefully accepted the drink. “No other way to have it, I say,” he said with a smile. He raised the glass to his lips, but then paused as he looked around the lounge where they were standing. It was considerably emptier than it was the last time he was here. The walls, which had once been full of family photos, were now bare. And there wasn’t a sign of a single rubber duck anywhere.

“You, uh… you been tidying up in here?” Asmodeus asked.

“Downsizing,” Lucifer muttered, before knocking back his drink in just a few gulps.

“I think you were supposed to sip that,” Asmodeus commented uneasily.

“Sip what?” Lucifer mumbled as he magicked the glass away, the drink already forgotten.

“Er… never mind.” Asmodeus glanced down at his own drink for a second, then used telekinesis to transport it to a nearby table. “Hey, uh… Luce?”

“What?”

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Lucifer only grunted in response. Asmodeus guessed he hadn’t slept since Charlie’s passing.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Yesterday.”

“And… have you been in your demonic form this whole time?”

Lucifer didn’t answer.

“It’s been three days, man. You know these forms affect us differently from other sinners. The longer you stay that way, the harder it’s going to be for you to change back.”

“It helps me stay focussed.”

“Uh-huh,” Asmodeus said dubiously. “Focussed on your new war?”

“Exactly.”

“I went by the hotel earlier–”

“It’s a fort, now.”

“Right… the fort… Looks pretty busy down there. Lots of sinners.”

“Well, it’s about time they made themselves useful.”

“And, uh… you think you can fight Heaven with them?”

“That’s what’s going to happen.”

Asmodeus chuckled uncomfortably. “Luce, come on… you know you’re not gonna win.”

“We have the numbers.”

“But not the power!”

“I have enough power to take on a hundred angels by myself!” Lucifer snapped back. “I intend to cut through as many as I have to in order to take my revenge on her!”

“Her?” Asmodeus repeated. “You mean your sister?”

“If you came here to talk me out of it, you’re wasting your time!”

“You can’t beat the High Seraphim! She’s the most ancient and powerful of all of Heaven’s angels!”

“She’s the one who sent the Exorcists to attack! It’s her fault that Charlie–!” His voice caught in his throat upon saying her name out loud. His hand flew to his chest, feeling his heart beating out of control.

“You can’t win!” Asmodeus said imploringly. “All you’re going to accomplish is bringing the wrath of Heaven down on us. Would you really sacrifice all seven rings just so you can spit in Heaven’s eye?” He leaned down and grabbed Lucifer’s shoulders. “Buddy, you’ve gotta stop this before it goes too far!”

Lucifer tore away from the other Sin’s grasp. “I will never stop! Not until every angel lays dead!”

“Losing Charlie has driven you insane,” Asmodeus said. “That form has driven you insane! You need to change back, now!”

“You dare come into my house and tell me what to do?!” Lucifer’s voice came out as a demonic rasp, his pupils disappearing as his eyes glowed bright red. “Keep it up and I’ll start conscripting Hellborns, starting with your twink boyfriend!”

Asmodeus felt his own temper flare at the threat. “The f*ck did you just say?!” he roared as his size increased and his plumage erupted into pink and blue flames. “If you so much as touch him, I’ll f*cking kill you!”

“Yes!” Lucifer exclaimed. “You feel that rage? That overwhelming need to rend your enemies limb from limb?”

The mad king’s remarks snapped Asmodeus out of his frenzy. The Sin of Lust took control of himself and immediately transformed back into his normal state.

“Believe me when I tell you, that rage you just felt is only a mere fraction of my wrath,” Lucifer told him.

“I came here as a friend wanting to help,” Asmodeus said. “But I see now I’ve been wasting my breath. You clearly won’t be satisfied until all of Hell shares poor Charlie’s fate.”

Lucifer scowled at him. “Get the f*ck out of my house.”

“Gladly,” Asmodeus hissed. Without another moment’s hesitation, he opened a portal back to his own home in the Lust Ring. He shot Lucifer one last glare before he stepped through it and closed it behind him.

“Asshole,” Lucifer spat. Spying the untouched martini glass on the table, Lucifer used his telekinesis to summon it to his hand and slammed it back. Then he hurled the empty glass against the nearest wall, causing it to shatter into dozens of glass shards.

“The f*ck he thinks he is?” he muttered to himself as he materialized another martini in his hand. He was about to take another gulp when a sound reached his ears, causing him to freeze. It took him several moments to identify the sound.

Piano music?

He didn’t own a f*cking piano!

Cursing, he magicked the drink away and followed the sound out of the lounge and down the hall… down the stairs… through the foyer… until at last he came to the doors of the ballroom. Lilith used to love hosting parties in there, but it had stood unused these past seven years.

Until now, at least.

The closer Lucifer got to the doors, the louder the music got. It was some slow-paced jazz piece. And now that he was just outside the doors, he could hear a voice singing along with the music.

“I don’t want to set the world on fire.
I just want to start
A flame in your heart.”

“In my heart, I have but one desire,
And that one is you.
No other will do.”

“The Hell?” Lucifer hissed.

He pushed open the doors to reveal the grand ballroom… Huge and empty and dusty and deserted, save for a crimson-coloured upright piano that hadn’t been there before.

And seated at the piano was… that f*cking guy.

Alastor’s eyes were closed as he swayed slightly with the melody, his permanent smile almost appearing natural… like the music was soothing his wicked soul.

“I’ve lost all ambition
For worldly acclaim.
I just want to be the one you love.
And with your admission
That you feel the same,
I’ll have reached the goal I’m dreaming of,
Believe me.”

Alastor opened his eyes and looked at Lucifer. His eyes narrowed and that wicked grin of his grew impossibly wider. He turned on his stool to face the devil king and stood up while the piano continued to play. The Radio Demon slowly moved towards him, like a lion stalking its prey. Then he extended a hand to Lucifer.

“I don’t want to set the world on fire.
I just want to start
A flame in your heart.”

Chapter 9: Reunited

Chapter Text

“Charlotte!” Lilith exclaimed. “What are you doing here?!”

“Me?!” Charlie cried. “What are you doing here?!”

Lilith’s face flushed. “D-don’t change the subject, young lady! Are you dead?!”

“Obviously!”

“Why are you dead?!”

“Angel would have loved thisssss,” Sir Pentious said, enjoying the drama that was unfolding before him.

“It’s a long story and I have too many questions to tell you right now!”

“I’m calling your father!”

“Good!”

“Good, what?”

“Good, I want you to call him!”

“Well, that’s too bad! I can’t call him right now!”

“Why not?!”

“Beats the hell out of me! One minute I’m waiting on a herald to bring back a background check on some sinner named Anthony Webber, the next minute I’ve lost all contact with the Underworld! I haven’t been able to get through to anyone for three days! I’ve already sent five heralds to Gabriel to get his feathered ass down here and troubleshoot this bitch, but that jerk is ignoring me!”

“Mom,” Charlie said, pressing her palms together and inhaling deeply to compose herself. “Why are you here in Heaven?”

Lilith wrung her hands. “Well… because I’m Hell’s ambassador to Heaven.”

“You’re… you’re joking.”

“I’m afraid not.”

“This is where you’ve been all this time?!” Charlie exclaimed. “For the past seven years?! Why didn’t you tell anyone?!”

“It was part of the deal for Heaven to even allow me to open an embassy up here. They would only agree if I ran it – under the strict supervision of the Exorcist Commander – and my presence up here had to be kept a secret from the citizens of Hell. They didn’t want word getting around that Hellborn demons could just come up here! Your father was the only other person who knew.”

“And Dad was okay with this?!”

Lilith sighed, absently fiddling with her wedding ring. “Honey, you remember what it was like before I left. Our marriage was already on the rocks. We agreed that me coming up here was the trial separation we both needed. It… wasn’t supposed to be for this long…”

Charlie felt a lump rise to her throat while tears pricked at her eyes. No, no she couldn’t start crying now! She was supposed to be angry!

“So… what?” Charlie asked bitterly, hating how her voice was choked with emotion. “You spent a little time up here, and decided you’d rather live alone in Heaven than down in Hell with Dad and me?”

“Honey, no!” Lilith cried, cupping Charlie’s cheeks in her hands. Charlie wrenched away from her touch, almost feeling guilty when she saw how Lilith’s face fell. “Sweet Charlotte… every day I spent not being with you was harder than the last. All I wanted to do was come home and see your face… hear your voice… But…”

“But what?”

“But… there was so much to be done up here…”

Charlie looked into her mother’s violet eyes – eyes that were searching hers for some kind of understanding. Charlie desperately wanted to understand, but she couldn’t help her thoughts wandering back to that horrible day seven years ago…

Charlie was still in her first semester at Fornication University in the Lust Ring. While the name suggested that it was nothing more than a den of debauchery and perversion, it actually had a very good political science program and Charlie had been enjoying her time there. But after three months away from home, she found herself missing her parents. She also worried about how they were coping with their relationship problems now that Charlie wasn’t around constantly to act as a buffer between them.

So it was on impulse that Charlie decided to travel home for a surprise visit one weekend. Wearing her favourite FU hoodie and packing an overnight bag, she made the trek back to Pride. Razzle and Dazzle were flanking her, as they always did, keeping her safe all the way from the elevator from Lust, to the cab ride with the belligerent driver, and finally to the front step of Morningstar Manor. The doors were never locked – even the boldest of Hell’s sinners wouldn’t dare trespass on the king and queen – so Charlie let herself inside.

“Hello?” she called out to the empty foyer, dropping her bag on the floor. “Mom? Dad? You guys home?”

The mansion was quiet, save for Charlie’s voice echoing back at her.

“Well, at least they aren’t screaming at each other again,” Charlie sighed. She turned to her bodyguards. “Razzle? Dazzle? Mind taking my bag to my room?”

The two goat demons immediately complied, each grabbing one side of the bag’s shoulder strap and flying it up to the upper floor where her bedroom was located.

“Mom? Dad?” she continued to call. “It’s me. I’m home.”

She checked the dining hall… the kitchen… the lounge… her father’s workshop… Every room was empty. Even the household staff were gone. It was odd. She could count on one hand the number of times her parents had dismissed the staff early, and every time it was right before they had a huge knockdown drag-out fight.

And yet there was no yelling… no furniture being kicked… no doors slamming…

It was silent as a tomb.

Finally, Charlie made her way up to the top floor, where the master bedroom was located. The door was ajar, so she poked her head inside.

Lucifer was sitting on the bed, facing away from her. He was hunched over, as if he were bearing some great load. As Charlie stepped into the room, drawing closer to him, she could see that he was holding one of their family portraits. His hands were trembling.

“Dad?”

Lucifer’s head whipped around to face her, his eyes wide with shock and rimmed with red from what looked like several hours of crying.

“Ch-Charlie?!” he stammered, wiping his face in a vain attempt to hide his emotional state. “What are you doing here?”

“Dad, what’s wrong?!” Charlie exclaimed, rushing to his side. “What’s going on? Where’s Mom?”

“Y-your mother… your mother is…”

Charlie grasped his hand. “Dad, you’re scaring me,” she said, her voice trembling. “Where is she? Did something happen?”

Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the portrait to his chest as he choked back a sob.

“G-gone…”

“What do you mean, gone? Where did she go?”

“Away.”

“Is she coming back?”

“I don’t know, Apple Slice…”

Charlie threw her arms around her father, tears spilling down her own cheeks now. “Oh, Daddy,” she wept.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he whispered as he set the portrait down and put his arms around her. “I-I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

They stayed that way for a long time, holding each other through their shared pain.

“There was so much to be done up here?” Charlie repeated Lilith’s words back to her. “That’s your excuse for abandoning us?”

“Charlotte,” Lilith whispered. “You don’t understand…”

“No, you don’t understand!” Charlie said accusingly. “Did you ever stop to think about how you walking out was going to affect me? How it affected Dad? All those years wondering if I had just been a better daughter, maybe you would have stuck around? And Dad… you nearly broke him, you know that? I almost lost both of my parents because of what you did! So tell me, what was so f*cking important up here that you could just walk away?!”

Lilith tried to reach out to Charlie again, but when the young woman pre-emptively backed away, the Queen of Hell simply clutched her hands to her chest as she looked at her daughter earnestly.

“The dream.”

“The dream?” Charlie repeated.

“The dream we always talked about when you were a little girl, remember? About a cosmos where Heaven and Hell could co-exist harmoniously. Where Hell could be a refuge for sinners until they find redemption and are accepted into Heaven. Not an eternal punishment. Not a pen where they stay cooped up until the Exorcists come and slaughter them. I wanted you to rule over a better Hell than the one your father and I created. So, as hard as it was, I felt like this was something I had to do. And believe me, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t ask myself if I made the right choice. I thought that if I succeeded up here, maybe the separation would be worth it in the end. I thought, what’s a couple years apart when we’ll have an eternity together in a better Hell? But the work here wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be. Before I knew it, a couple years turned into three years, then five years, then seven… I don’t think a day went by that I didn’t think about giving up, just so I could be with you again. So we could be a family again. But then that would have meant that all this work… all this time apart… it would have all been for nothing. So I kept working. And I kept praying. And I kept hoping that this would be the year… That this year, Heaven would believe in the dream too. I thought that maybe, between my work up here and your Hazbin Hotel, maybe we would finally convince them together.”

Charlie’s expression softened at that last part. “You… you know about my hotel?”

“Of course I know, sweetie,” Lilith said with a gentle smile. “I looked in on you every chance I got. I know about all the good work you’ve done… How brave you’ve been… I know about Vaggie…”

Charlie’s heart warmed at thoughts of her girlfriend. She had wanted her mom to meet her for so long.

“She really is a lovely young woman,” Lilith said. “I couldn’t be happier for you.”

Charlie slowly felt her defenses falling, her anger being replaced by a deep longing for connection. “What… exactly… do you do up here?” she asked.

Lilith folded her hands in front of her. “There are many souls in Heaven with loved ones who didn’t make it up here. I asked the angels, can Heaven really be a paradise when so many souls are forever separated from the ones they love most? I convinced them to allow me to open this embassy so that souls with loved ones in Hell could have a chance to intercede on their behalf. You know as well as I that even the worst sinners have some good in them. For the past seven years, I have been looking into the backgrounds of countless sinners in Hell who are missed by their loved ones in Heaven – like Anthony Webber, whose twin sister misses him terribly. I’ve built countless casefiles, trying to prove to the angels that if goodness still exists in these poor lost souls, we owe it to them to try to nurture it until it changes their hearts. I know the evidence I have is strong, but… well… I haven’t managed to convince the right people yet.”

“The right people? You mean Sera…”

Lilith sighed. “The High Seraphim has always lacked vision. She always wanted the cosmos kept in a strict order. Always afraid that chaos would lead to disaster. Even more so, since we gave the Fruit of Knowledge to the humans. That calculated risk is what allowed Evil to infect humanity. That one mistake convinced Sera that she was right. That it was better to control the humans and have everything be perfect rather than allow them to make their own choices and mistakes… letting them fall and rise… letting them love who they love…” Emotion shone in Lilith’s eyes. “Maybe it was the wrong choice. Maybe we did destroy paradise. Even so… I don’t think your father ever regretted what we did. I know I didn’t. And if your father has taught me anything, it’s that chaos can be wild and messy and unpredictable, but it can also be good… it can be surprising… it can be… so wonderful…”

Charlie stepped forward, closing some of the distance between herself and her mother. “I think you and Dad were right about free will,” she said. “And I think you’re right about souls in Hell still having goodness inside them. No, I know you’re right about that. I’ve seen it for myself. And those souls… our people… they’re worth fighting for. But you never should have tried to do it all by yourself.”

She moved forward and hugged her mother. “I’m here, now. And I’m going to help you fight. Together, we’ll save our people.”

“Oh, Charlotte,” Lilith said, her voice breaking with emotion as she returned her daughter’s embrace. “Nothing would make me happier than to have you fighting beside me. But I don’t know how we can continue our work, as long as our connection with Hell has been severed. How are we to prove to the angels that souls in Hell are worth saving when we can’t access them?”

Charlie pulled back and looked at Lilith with a confident smile. “It’s alright. We’ve got all the proof we need right here with us.”

“We do? What is it?”

“Mom… allow me to present Exhibit A!” She made a wide sweeping gesture towards Sir Pentious, who had been standing silently just inside the door.

“Oh!” Sir Pentious stiffened nervously. He gave an awkward smile and raised his hand in a shy wave. “Hello, your Highnesssssss.”

Chapter 10: It's a Deal, Then?

Chapter Text

Lucifer stood glaring at his unwelcome guest, who had remained standing with his hand outstretched towards him for an uncomfortable amount of time, that damned smile never wavering.

“Alastor, isn’t it?” the demon king said coldly. “I thought you were dead.”

“Ah, yes!” Alastor said, retracting his hand in a flamboyant gesture. “I heard that bit of gossip, too! I guess you could say the rumours of my demise were greatly exaggerated!”

“Why are you here?”

“Why, I’ve been watching your war campaign on the telly, and I just had to come see the new and improved Prince of Darkness for myself! I must say, tyranny is a very becoming look on you!”

“What do you want?”

“What do I want?” Alastor repeated. “Why, I want what every man wants, and what you already have. Power, influence, control, veneration, and the fear of billions of souls…”

“And you came here thinking I would share that with you?” Lucifer scoffed.

“We’re two reasonable men, my lord,” Alastor said. “I’m sure we can come to some kind of understanding.”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told Asmodeus,” Lucifer said. “Get. The f*ck. Out. Of. My. House.” Then he turned on his heel and began walking away.

“So cold!” Alastor exclaimed. “I wonder what poor Charlie would say if she could see you now?”

Lucifer’s rage flared. In an instant he was upon the Radio Demon again, grabbing the grinning monstrosity by his lapels and dragging him close until they were nose to nose.

“You keep my daughter’s name out of your f*ckING mouth!!” he roared as red flames and black smoke spilled from his lips.

Alastor didn’t even flinch, continuing to grin sad*stically. “Oh, my! That’s a sore spot, isn’t it?!” He dissolved into shadows and then rematerialized behind the demon king. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say I just stumbled upon a weakness.”

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing you know better,” Lucifer said, his voice dripping with malice as he turned to face the Radio Demon.

“Speaking of weakness,” Alastor continued, “I happened by the old hotel – Fort Charlotte, now? Daughter dearest would be most touched, I’m sure. You’ve drafted many sinners, armed them with angelic weapons, and yet, they’re still not strong enough to face Heaven’s army, are they? How pathetic. Even with ten times their numbers, your forces still don’t hold a candle to them. It must be quite embarrassing.”

“If you have a point to make, make it already,” Lucifer said impatiently.

“Straight to business? Wonderful! Then let’s make a deal…”

“You want my soul, now? You’d give Mammon a run for his money with that greed of yours.”

“Your soul?” Alastor repeated. “Heavens, no! What would I want with that twisted, broken, blackened little thing? No, no… Here is what I propose: You do three little favours for me, and I’ll give you an army strong enough to crush the angelic forces.”

Lucifer scoffed. “Three favours?”

Alastor held up three fingers. “Count ‘em… Three!”

“Elaborate.”

“First: I was injured in the failed extermination. I’ll require you to use your angelic powers to heal me.”

“Fine. Next?”

“Second: I’ll need you to restore the source of my power. My staff was destroyed by the First Man. If I’m to help you, I’ll need a new one, with even more power than the old one.”

“And third?”

“Third…” Alastor leaned in, his grin tensing up. “You will use all of your influence and power to force your dear wife to relinquish her control over my soul!”

“Your soul?” Lucifer repeated, his red eyes widening in surprise. Then a wicked grin fell across his features. “You’re joking. You made a deal with Lilith for power?”

“I was new in Hell and had no interest in waiting to rise up the ranks of the demonic elite. So I sought out the most powerful person I could think of and made a deal. In exchange for my power, she took ownership of my soul. It wasn’t so bad for the first several decades. She let me do whatever I wanted, within reason. Everything was going swimmingly until seven years ago.”

“Seven years…? When Lilith left…”

“She made me come with her to that… that wretched place! Heaven! She kept me chained up in that stifling embassy. Said I was too ‘dangerous’ and ‘unhinged’ to be left to my own devices while she was away. Seven years I wasted away in that hole! Until six months ago, when she finally let me return to Hell, where I belong. Only this time, she tightened the leash. No more massacres, no more hunting… She would only permit me to use my powers to aid and protect her dear daughter, and her quaint little hotel. And I tire of these limitations.”

“Hmph. I knew you were up to no good from the start. Monsters like you don’t just help anyone out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Well, then… one monster to another… don’t you want to raise a little Hell?”

Lucifer couldn’t resist smirking. “I suppose I do.”

“Splendid!” Alastor exclaimed, bringing the piano to life with a snap of his fingers. It immediately began playing an upbeat jazzy tune, while another snap of his fingers summoned shadowy spectres playing background music. “I see big things coming our way, yes indeedy! Now onto business… Everything’s better with a song, don’t you agree?”

“I despise jazz,” Lucifer said.

Alastor ignored the demon king, dissolving into a shadow and materializing on top of the piano.

“This way, good man! We’ve a deal to make!
I assure this is a good thing for both our sakes.
I’m happy to provide,
But remember your side
Of a bargain I know you can’t refuse to take!

All I ask is when I boost your station,
Remember who gave you this grand ovation!
If I call on you
For a favour or two,
Don’t forget it’s now your obligation!”

The Radio Demon’s grin widened as he broke into a fast-paced tap dance.

“Smile like you mean it!
Take a chance and you could seize it!
I’m sure you’ll do just swell.
You’re only down in Hell!
So come along with me and guarantee it!

Smile your way through it!
Grit your teeth and get right to it!
Forget the rigmarole
And you can have it all
And make it that much better
When I see you fall!”

“Who the f*ck do you think you’re talking to?” Lucifer demanded.

Alastor dissolved off the piano and rematerialized next to the demon king. The action made Lucifer’s skin crawl.

“They say you reap what you sow,
And in this town, you should damn well know
That what the Radio Demon wants
He’s gonna take!
You know I’ve killed Hell’s greatest evils,
Shook the status quo in upheaval.
So if you think you’re getting out of this,
Big mistake…”

“Stop wasting my time! This is taking forever!” Lucifer spat at him.

“You always think you’re so quick and clever.
Yet I know what you want
And what makes you tick, tick, tick!
Doing what I want’s just the cost you’ll pay!”

“Enough of this sh*t, I haven’t got all day!”

“Then shake my hand and we can go
Have a celebratory drink!”

Lucifer reached out to him, but Alastor had already dissolved away again, reforming back on top of the piano. Ever the showman, it was clear that the Radio Demon wanted to finish his little song and dance number before sealing the deal.

“Smile like you mean it!
Risk it all and we can seize it!
Until we hear that bell
We’re both stuck in Hell,
So roll the dice and see if you could be it!

Smile your way through it!
Embrace the dark as though you knew it!
You can stand up tall
And act within my thrall!
And I’ll be there to watch you
As you take the fall!”

Alastor dissolved once again. This time, when he reappeared, he was right in front of Lucifer’s face… that hideous smile filling his vision. Alastor looked rather amused as the demon king stumbled back a few steps. Lucifer composed himself and glared at the overlord hatefully.

“So what, my friend, whatever will it be?
I can give you what you crave, just not for free.
You know what’s on the line,
And this whole thing’s on borrowed time.
But you can trust the man who’s wearing
His one guarantee…”

Lucifer felt a clawed hand grasp his shoulder. He whipped his head around to see Alastor was now behind him, despite being in front of him just the second before. The Radio Demon pulled him close to his side like they were old chums and belted his black heart out.

“Smile like you mean it!
Risk it all and we can seize it!
Until we hear that bell
We’re both stuck in Hell,
So roll the dice and see if you could be it!”

With a flick of his arm, he spun Lucifer out, sending the demon king tumbling to the floor. The Prince of Pride snarled as he looked up at the Radio Demon from the ground, only to find that Alastor had once again materialized right in front of his face.

“Smile your way through it!
Embrace the dark as though you knew it!
You can stand up tall
And act within my thrall!
And I’ll be there to watch you,
Yes, I’ll watch you,
I will make you
Break you
As you fall!”

Lucifer continued to glare daggers at Alastor as the music faded. There were few he hated more than that grinning bastard, but it just so happened that those few resided in Heaven. As much as he wanted to spit in Alastor’s eye and then force-feed him his own entrails, the prospect of having an army powerful enough to crush his enemies was too tempting to pass up.

“So,” Alastor said, extending his hand to Lucifer. His palm was glowing green with demonic magic. “It’s a deal, then?”

Lucifer climbed to his feet, his own demonic aura growing in its intensity.

“Slaughter my enemies, and I’ll give you anything you want. I’ll drag Lilith back to Hell myself and force her to free you.”

“Oh, your Majesty,” Alastor said congenially. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Lucifer clasped Alastor’s hand tightly. The Radio Demon’s true form was instantly pulled out, huge antlers extending from his skull while his grin grew so wide it nearly ripped his face in half. The entire manor shook with ancient and evil magic as the two devils sealed their dark pact.

Chapter 11: Redemption

Chapter Text

“This could actually work this time,” Lilith said as she, Charlie, and Sir Pentious walked through the bustling streets to the Heavenly Courthouse. “I had dozens of casefiles, but this…” She looked over at Sir Pentious. “Real proof. A sinner who was redeemed. Sera can’t ignore us now!”

“I don’t think anyone could ignore you, Mom,” Charlie said with a nervous chuckle. It was true, despite covering her horns with a large sunhat, Lilith’s obvious lack of wings or a halo was drawing several confused stares from passersby.

“Not anymore, they won’t,” Lilith said, oblivious to the stares. “And once Heaven is on board, I won’t have to stay up here full-time anymore. I can get a proper staff of aides and caseworkers up here, and then I’ll be able to come home and we can be a proper family again.”

“You mean Dad too?”

“Maybe… If he’ll still have me…”

“I think Dad would like that.”

The tender moment was interrupted when all of the billboards suddenly crackled to life with a loud advertisem*nt. The face of an angel that Charlie recognized as Adam’s first officer, Lute, appeared on all of the screens.

“Join the Army of Heaven!” Lute exclaimed enthusiastically. “Where angels are recruited based on their bravery, loyalty, and unwavering commitment to serving the greater good! Join us in our mission to protect Heaven from darkness and spread love and light throughout the cosmos! Are you ready to soar to new heights and be part of something truly divine? Enlist in the Army of Heaven today and become a warrior of light!”

“Hey, that sounds interesting!” one of the angelic souls on the street said.

“I always wanted to see the cosmos!”

“Spreading light and love? Sign me up!”

“Strange,” Lilith commented. “The Exorcists aren’t usually so aggressive with their recruitment campaigns.”

“They musssssst be hurting for numberssssss, after the thrashing we gave them,” Sir Pentious said pridefully.

“Adam’s usually the face of those recruitment videos, though,” Lilith mused. “He had all these stupid jingles… ‘Come enlist, I insist’… ‘Don’t resist, just enlist’… ‘Now enlist or I’ll be pissed’…”

“It’s a wonder they decided to replace him with someone more charismatic,” Charlie said, rolling her eyes.

“That disgusting pig,” Lilith said angrily. “It was bad enough he was always trying to interfere with my work and constantly making passes… But after what he did to you, Charlie, well… Next time I see him he’s going to wish he stayed in Hell.”

“We can worry about him later,” Charlie said. “If they’re recruiting more Exorcists, it must mean that Heaven plans to continue their exterminations. We need to get Pentious in front of Sera as soon as possible to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“Well, here we are,” Lilith said as they reached the steps of the courthouse. “Moment of truth.”

But as they walked up the steps towards the doors, a blue bunny cherub zipped between them and the entrance.

“Sorry, folks,” he said. “The Heavenly Courthouse is closed for a private meeting.”

“What?!” Lilith demanded. “You can’t just close the courthouse! I need in there!”

“And people in Hell need ice water,” the cherub countered sassily. “Court’s closed!”

“Listen here, you little rodent!” Lilith said threateningly. “Either you get out of my way or it’s gonna be hassenpfeffer for lunch!”

“Joke’s on you! I don’t speak Spanish!”

“Mom, calm down,” Charlie said. “Maybe the meeting will be over soon.” She looked at the cherub. “So, like… come back in an hour?”

“Meeting’s already been going on for nearly three days and it doesn’t look like it’s gonna end any time soon,” the cherub said disinterestedly.

“You better get the f*ck out of my way!!” Charlie yelled, immediately losing her patience.

“Language, young lady!” Lilith scolded.

“Hey, back off!” the cherub shouted, brandishing a tiny white taser. “I’ve never used this, and I don’t wanna use it, and I’m not even completely sure how it works, but I’ll use it on you if you don’t leave now!”

“Now, now,” Sir Pentious said, stepping in in an effort to diffuse the situation. “No need for all thisssssss unpleasantnessssssssss. I’m sure we can ressssssolve thisssss like reasssssonable – aghragapaghpagh!!” Sir Pentious was cut off when the cherub tased him. The poor snake man spasmed for several moments before falling over, writhing in pain.

“Why?!” the former sinner cried.

“Oh, so that’s how it works,” the cherub commented.

“Oh, that’s it!” Charlie yelled angrily. “I’m gonna eat your head like a chocolate bunny!”

“Try it, bitch!”

Charlie lunged at the cherub, who raised his taser to attack. But before either could reach each other, a magenta blur swooped in and smacked into the blue cherub, striking the leporid being to the ground.

“What the–?” Charlie murmured.

At first, it resembled another cherub. Small, with tiny white wings and goat-like features, including magenta fur and curved, golden horns. But it had a lizard’s tail and it wore a white tuxedo jacket and bowtie. When it turned around, Charlie found herself looking into big, doe eyes that she recognized immediately.

“Dazzle!” she exclaimed.

Dazzle bleated happily and practically jumped into Charlie’s arms. Charlie hugged him close as tears of happiness pricked at her eyes.

“Oh, Dazzle,” she wept softly. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

The day Razzle and Dazzle came into her life was one of the happiest days she could remember. It was her fiftieth birthday and she was still a little girl. Lucifer had told her that now that she was older, he was going to need someone to watch over and protect his little princess. So he created Razzle and Dazzle, pulling them out of his hat like a magician, much to her delight. But as the years progressed, Razzle and Dazzle became more than just bodyguards. They were friends who were always there to listen when she needed a confidant, who amused her when she was lonely, and who comforted her when she was sad.

“Still protecting me, even now,” Charlie whispered, kissing the top of Dazzle’s head between his horns.

The cherub groaned and sat up, looking around for his taser, which had been knocked from his hand during Dazzle’s attack. He froze when Lilith suddenly towered over him.

“I am the Queen of Hell,” she said authoritatively as she removed her hat to reveal her large horns. “I demand an audience with the High Seraphim, and you will open these doors.”

The cherub looked fearful at first, but then he flattened his ears defiantly. “I don’t care if you’re Beyoncé, I told you the courthouse is closed!”

“Dazzle?” Lilith called.

The former demon bodyguard flew in close to the cherub, cracking his knuckles with a cool smirk on his face. The bunny cherub turned a much paler shade of blue.

“This is a disaster,” Sera said exasperatedly as she paced at the front of the conference room in the Heavenly Courthouse. “I never would have approved of the annual extermination if I knew it was going to lead to this!”

“Has any progress been made with the heralds?” Michael, the fair-haired Angel of Protection, asked.

“Still no use,” Gabriel, Angel of Heralds, said while shaking his head. “Not a single messenger has made it to or from Hell since the incident.”

“Hell will certainly seek vengeance for the death of their princess,” Uriel, the Angel of Knowledge and Wisdom, said. “Cutting off communication between the realms was no doubt a strategic move on Lucifer’s part. He wants to keep us guessing as to what his next move will be. There is no doubt that he is amassing an army, and he is keeping the young Joy-Bringer and the Exorcist Commander as hostages to ensure that we will open the portal whenever he chooses to end the embargo.”

“And you’re sure that Emily and Adam are still alive?” Sera asked.

“I have not seen their deaths,” Azrael said. “Therefore, they are not dead.”

The High Seraphim stopped pacing. “And… there’s no one else?”

Azrael shook his head slowly. “Of all the angels who became trapped in Hell, theirs are the only deaths I have not seen yet. Lucifer was… ruthless and cruel…”

Sera sighed heavily, closing her eyes. “Patience… Temperance… all those Exorcists…”

“That damned demon!” Michael spat, slamming his fist on the table. “I knew he should have been executed for his crimes, rather than merely banished to that pit where he could make himself a king!”

“I never wanted bloodshed on Heaven’s hands,” Sera said sombrely.

“Your judgement was clouded by sentiment,” Michael said accusingly. “You lacked the will to do what needed to be done, and now your brother has brought doom upon us once again.”

“Please do not call him my brother,” Sera said in a hard tone. “I have not considered him family in over ten thousand years.”

“How concerned should we be about this potential Army of Hell?” Gabriel asked. “Sinners and demons were never a problem for our Exorcists in the past.”

“True,” Uriel said. “But during this last extermination, the sinners somehow learned that angelic steel can harm angels. How they procured it is uncertain… but one can reasonably expect that Hell’s army will arm themselves with such weapons. Between that and their superior numbers, they will surely be a force to be reckoned with… especially if Lucifer leads the charge.”

“Do you think he would be that reckless?”

“His actions of late suggest so. We should also assume that the strength of his army grows with each passing hour. In other words…” Uriel clenched his hands anxiously. “In other words, the longer he waits, the greater the threat.”

“If these paths remain unaltered, I foresee that billions of souls will be lost in both realms,” Azrael said grimly. “And with the balance of good and evil compromised, even more will follow on Earth.”

“And the only alternative is to let him murder Adam and Emily,” Sera whispered. “The cruel bastard…”

“If we try to save them, we’ll be playing directly into his hands,” Gabriel said.

“You think I don’t know that?!” Sera cried angrily. “I know I have billions of souls to think about, but… but Father help me, I can’t lose Emily too!”

The door to the boardroom suddenly creaked open, and the blue rabbit cherub fluttered inside. The small being looked rather disheveled, and more than just a little battered.

“Excuse me,” he said timidly. “Your Highnesses…”

“Carl, now really isn’t a good time,” Sera said wearily.

“I beg your apologies, High Seraphim, but…” Carl swallowed nervously. “The, uh… the Queen of Hell has requested an audience.”

“Tell Lilith I don’t have time for her theatrics today.”

The door was suddenly kicked open, sending poor Carl flying. “Make time!” Lilith barked as she stormed inside.

“Lilith,” Sera practically hissed. “Once again, you think that rules don’t apply to you.”

“Sera,” Lilith countered. “Once again, you think you can control everything.”

“You’re treading on thin ice, your Highness,” Sera said spitefully. “I could easily send you back to Hell if your presence here becomes problematic!”

“And how will you do that, with all the portals sealed?”

Sera’s eyes widened. “How do you know about that?!”

“I’m Hell’s Queen and Ambassador! You thought I wouldn’t notice my own realm being cut off from Heaven?!”

“Why have you come here?” Michael demanded.

“To make you listen,” Lilith said. “All these millennia, you’ve insisted that you all know best. But now you’re going to hear someone else speak, whether you like it or not!”

“Then speak quickly and begone!” Sera said, her many angelic eyes opening on her wings as her emotions rose.

“You refused to believe me when I told you that souls in Hell could be redeemed. You said that demons could never become angels!”

“There was never any proof that–!”

“Well, here’s your proof!”

Lilith stepped to the side and made a grand gesture, revealing her proof. Behind her stood Sir Pentious, a known sinner, now redeemed. In his arms was Dazzle, a Hellspawn creation, now a cherub.

And beside them, was Charlotte Morningstar… daughter of Lucifer… Princess of Hell… now an angel…

Chapter 12: Damnation

Chapter Text

Every waking moment, Emily could feel her grip on reality slipping. She was cold and hungry and in pain. She was trapped in this dungeon of darkness, with no way of telling how much time had passed. All she could smell was angelic blood.

All she could hear was Adam’s ragged breathing.

Worse than any physical pain she was in was the psychological anguish of being forced to watch helplessly as Lucifer tortured Adam relentlessly. He whipped the First Man until flesh and blood flew across the dungeon. He used hellfire to sear his sigil onto Adam’s shoulder. He tore out every one of Adam’s fingernails and then used his angelic powers to heal him just so he could do it again. In the beginning, Adam’s screams had been ear-splitting. But as the torture continued, he eventually lost his voice and his screams of agony became little more than open-mouthed squeaks.

The worst part was when he reached into Adam’s gaping chest wound and grabbed one of the First Man’s ribs. He twisted and pulled it, eventually yanking it back and forth until it snapped free. Adam writhed, his face contorted in agony, mouth wide open, but his scream was silent. Lucifer commented that it wasn’t any fun if he couldn’t hear him scream, right before using his sharp teeth to strip off the raw flesh that was still connected to the rib. Wiping the golden blood from his mouth, he had glanced over in Emily’s direction. Confirming that she had witnessed the entire horrific display, he had dropped the clean bone onto the ground and smiled with satisfaction as he teleported away.

That had been several hours ago. Or maybe it had been several days ago. Emily couldn’t tell. She only knew that she had been down here for far too long with nothing but Adam’s shallow breathing to keep her company.

Why was he doing this to her? Was he trying to break her? Leave her twisted up inside like him? Was that the goal? To make her become like him? If that was the case, she feared it was beginning to work. Already she could feel her frayed nerves becoming desensitized to the horror being inflicted on Adam. Scenes that should have made her retch just left her feeling numb. She even found herself thinking, in the darkest moments, that maybe it would be easier if she just did what he wanted. If she broke her halo and became his servant, maybe the agony would finally end.

In those moments, all she could do was pray. She didn’t pray for freedom or for vengeance, however. She prayed for strength. She beseeched the great Creator to grant her the fortitude to endure Lucifer’s cruelty so that she could show this prodigal son that an angel’s love was stronger than a devil’s hate.

Emily decided that her Father must have heard her… because she wasn’t done fighting yet…

Something moved in the shadows. Emily tensed up. What manner of horrifying creature could be lurking down here with her? Did Lucifer send some terrible monster to continue to torment her in his absence? The battered angel blinked back tears.

“Give me courage, Father,” she whispered.

The shape in the darkness moved closer, finally stepping into the dim light cast by one of the few torches mounted on the walls of the dungeon. It was a small black and white cat with a long, bushy tail and one large red eye. It had no mouth to speak of, and its pointed ears each bore a white spot that, when the cat’s ears were erect, came together to form a heart shape. It looked at Emily with a curious expression in its eye.

“You… you don’t look so bad,” Emily said hoarsely. “What are you doing down here? Come to keep me company?”

The cat approached her and rubbed its head against her leg. Emily reached out with a shaky hand and gently pet its head. The cat rumbled with a contented purr.

“Thank you,” Emily said with a soft smile. “It’s nice to see a kind face.”

Both Emily and the cat were enjoying the tranquil moment when the sudden appearance of a portal caused them both to go rigid. Emily’s heart sank, wondering what new torment was in store for her.

“There you are, KeeKee!” Lucifer said in a sing-songy voice that belied the dangerous intent behind it. “Naughty kitty! What are you doing with our prisoners?”

KeeKee’s ears flattened against her head, her tail wrapped tightly around herself as she cowered, her singular eye wide with fear.

“Come to Daddy, KeeKee,” Lucifer said, snapping his fingers. The cat was immediately enveloped in a red aura and unwillingly levitated from her place by Emily’s side into Lucifer’s arms. The king cradled her with one hand while the taloned fingers of his other hand stroked her head. The cat did not appear to enjoy his attention, however she was too terrified to fight back.

“I didn’t come to play with kitty-cats,” another voice said. Emily saw a tall figure step out of the portal right before it closed. He was thin, pale, dressed all in red, with an unnaturally wide smile filled with sharp, yellow teeth. His voice crackled with static, like a broken radio. “We had a deal.”

“You want your power restored?” Lucifer asked. “Then I need the cat.”

“I’d prefer it if you started by healing me!” the tall man said, his tone conveying annoyance despite the smile never wavering. He opened his jacket to reveal a large red bloodstain across his chest.

“Very well,” Lucifer said. “But I want it known that using this power makes me want to puke.”

The king’s demonic red aura slowly lightened, becoming like the white aura of an angel. Still cradling the cat in one arm, he pressed his hand against the tall man’s wounded chest. A golden glow grew around the pair, then disappeared just as quickly. Lucifer’s red, demonic aura returned, and the tall man patted his chest, checking his hand to confirm that there was no more blood.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” the tall man asked, looking satisfied.

“Try not to get injured again. I won’t heal you a second time.”

“Noted. Now, my staff?”

Of course,” Lucifer answered. With a flick of his hand, the cat was transformed into a large black key. Brandishing it like a sword, the fallen angel pointed it above their heads. A bolt of red energy erupted from the end, briefly lighting the entire dungeon in a bright explosion of magic. As darkness descended again, a staff began to materialize in mid air – a thin metal rod with a silver snake coiling its length, and what appeared to be an old, vintage microphone at the top.

The tall man snatched the staff from the air, a blast of green, dark magic exploding from within him as he did. A pair of antlers grew from his head and his wide smile got impossibly wider.

“Oh yes,” he said darkly. “This will do very nicely.” He looked at Lucifer. “That’s two favours done… one to go…”

“You get the final favour when you’ve held up your end,” the king said, shrinking the key down to the size of a typical key and pocketing it.

“Of course, of course,” the tall man said dismissively. “You’ll get your unstoppable army.”

“And when every angel lays dead, you’ll get your freedom.”

“You won’t win!” Emily tried to sound strong, but her strained voice came out sounding weak and pathetic. “Evil will never win!”

“Oh my, who’s this?” the tall man said, as he strolled closer to the chained angel. “This must be the dear little sister you spoke of! Well, now I know who got all the good looks in your family!” The tall man extended his hand to her. “Pleasure to meet you, my dear! Quite a pleasure! My name is Alastor, but most people in these parts know me as the Radio Demon!”

Emily recoiled from his hand. His palm was glowing with green sorcery. She could sense the darkness and malevolence pouring off him in waves. Surely even a simple touch would infect her with sin and evil. She kept her hands firmly at her sides and glared up at him defiantly.

“Oh-ho, now I see the family resemblance!” Alastor said. “Clearly no one ever taught either of you proper manners.” His eyes suddenly went black and his body seemed to grow larger, his form becoming obscured by static. “Perhaps I should teach her a lesson in etiquette…”

“Leave her alone,” Lucifer said.

Alastor looked back at the king. “Beg pardon?” he asked, his appearance and voice returning to normal.

“I’ve seen your idea of a ‘lesson in etiquette’… This wretched thing is bait, and if you kill her, my plans will be ruined.” Lucifer smirked cooly at Emily. “Besides… she’s mine to break… I’ll make a proper fallen angel of her yet.”

“No, you won’t,” Emily said boldly. “I will never fall.”

“You’re already halfway there, my dear! You just need a few more pushes.”

“And what do we have here?!” Alastor exclaimed, noticing Adam’s mangled body chained to the wall opposite Emily. “Don’t tell me that’s the First Man!”

“What’s left of him,” Lucifer said.

“I must say, your Majesty, I underestimated the depths of your depravity! He should be dead a hundred times over, and yet here is, still drawing breath simply because you will him to do so!” Alastor’s eyes twinkled wickedly. “His suffering must be unimaginable.”

“It’s not even a fraction of what he deserves.”

Alastor regarded the gaping wound thoughtfully. “Hmm… two, four, six, eight… I count nineteen ribs. I read Genesis when I was a lad. I thought it only took one rib to create Eve.”

“I may have helped myself to a few.”

“Indeed,” Alastor said, noting the partially chewed rib bones littering the floor at Adam’s feet. “Seems we have more in common than I thought.” He stroked his chin as he stared at Adam’s chest wound hungrily. “You know, I sampled a bit of angel, once. Very unique flavour. One might say, heavenly. I don’t suppose you would mind if I…?”

“By all means,” Lucifer said with a wicked grin. “Allow me.” He thrust his hand into the wound and yanked out a rib with practiced ease. Adam could do little more than grunt and spasm at this point. Alastor graciously accepted the offered meat.

“You’re too kind, good sir,” he said, picking a bit of meat off the bone with his fingers and popping it into his mouth. “Delicious.”

“You’re both disgusting,” Emily said with revulsion.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Emily,” Lucifer said condescendingly. “You’re just hangry. I’ve been neglecting to feed you, haven’t I?” He began moving towards her with his hand held up, still dripping with Adam’s blood. “Let’s get something nourishing into you.”

“Stay away from me,” Emily practically whimpered, shrinking as far away from him as her chain would allow. “No!”

“Now don’t say ‘no’ until you’ve at least had a taste,” Lucifer said sad*stically, grabbing her chain with his clean hand and forcing her to her knees in front of him. “I know Sera raised you better than that.”

“Let me go!”

He grabbed her jaw with his bloodied hand and began forcing his thumb past her lips. “I think once you’ve tried it, you won’t be able to get enough!”

Emily gagged at the tang of Adam’s blood on her tongue. She tried desperately to twist out of the devil’s grasp, but he was too strong. In one final, desperate attempt to break free from him, she bit down on his thumb as hard as she could.

“Motherf*cker!” he bellowed, retracting his hand. He looked down at the injured digit, which was now covered in his own golden blood as well as Adam’s. His eyes glowed red with rage at the reminder that he was no different from Adam, and all the other angels that he hated. He balled his hand into a fist and turned his red-hot glare on Emily.

“You filthy f*cking seraph!!” he snarled, raising his fist to strike her.

Alastor caught the king’s wrist before he could deliver the blow. “Now, now, your Majesty,” he said calmly, but with a noticeable edge of danger to his voice. “That’s no way to treat a lady.”

Lucifer glared hatefully at Alastor for a few moments. Then he abruptly released his grip on Emily’s chain and tore his hand from Alastor’s grasp.

“How very chivalrous of you,” he sneered at the Radio Demon. “But if you ever grab me like that again, I’ll feed you your own liver!”

“Oh, come now, your Majesty,” Alastor said with a hearty chuckle. “Don’t threaten me with a good time!”

“You really are one sick, twisted f*ck.”

“You’re never going to win,” Emily said weakly. “It doesn’t matter what happens to me. Sera won’t let you destroy the cosmos.”

“Then maybe I should just end you right now!” Lucifer threatened, materializing an angelic steel blade in his hand and jabbing it under her throat.

Emily didn’t react or even flinch at the threat. She simply closed her eyes and exhaled. Lucifer emitted an animalistic growl and pressed the blade harder into her flesh, until Emily felt a trickle of blood run down her throat. She merely raised her chin to grant him better access. Lucifer chuckled, his voice sounding strained and manic.

“What’s it gonna take to make you break, huh?” he rasped.

“Perhaps you should have given her the same treatment as this one,” Alastar remarked, now standing in front of Adam again. “If nothing else, I imagine she must taste much sweeter.” The Radio Demon co*cked his head and licked his lips as he stared at Adam’s still-beating heart. “Then again, maybe we just need to try a juicier cut of meat…” He reached out and dragged a single claw against Adam’s struggling heart.

“What the f*ck are you doing?!” Lucifer roared, dropping the angelic blade next to Emily and teleporting across the room where he snatched Alastor’s hand away from Adam’s heart. “That heart must remain intact for me to keep him alive!” the king shouted, enraged. “Are you trying to put him out of his misery?!”

“My deepest apologies, your Majesty,” the Radio Demon said, though he sounded more amused than contrite.

Lucifer opened a portal with a snap of his fingers. “Let’s go,” he said gruffly. “There’s still much to prepare for the upcoming siege.”

“Splendid!” Alastor said, stepping through the portal. “Perhaps we can do lunch later!”

“Don’t press your luck,” Lucifer huffed, stepping in after him and closing the portal.

Only when they were gone did Emily release the sob that she had been holding back. Back in Heaven, she couldn’t fathom the depths of such cruelty and depravity. Everything that she had witnessed in the time she had been stuck down here was more than she could bear.

What made it all hurt so much more was that that monster said he was her brother. She wanted to believe that he was lying, but deep in her heart she knew that was the one thing he was being sincere about. That meant she was the sister of the devil that damned all of humankind. He had once been the light-bringer, like she was. But in the end, he fell and became that demonic entity who took pleasure in the pain and suffering of others.

If it could happen to him, it could happen to her.

Maybe that’s why Sera was always so overprotective. Maybe that’s why she had held back so many ugly truths. Maybe she had been afraid of Emily turning out like Lucifer.

“Father, help me,” she prayed softly. “I’m not strong enough to keep fighting on my own. I need Your strength. Please… just show me what to do…”

When she opened her eyes, she noticed something glinting on the ground just a few inches away. Emily reached out with trembling hands and picked it up…

Lucifer’s knife…

Chapter 13: A Family Affair

Chapter Text

“I don’t understand,” Sera murmured. “This shouldn’t be possible.”

“Believe your eyes, High Seraphim,” Lilith challenged her as she gestured at the trio behind her. “Sinners and Hellborns with halos… what more proof do you need that souls in Hell can be redeemed?”

“Fascinating,” Uriel commented thoughtfully. “Indeed, this changes everything we thought we knew about divine judgement.”

“What does any of that matter?” Michael demanded. “It doesn’t change anything that’s happening now!”

“It changes everything!” Sera cried.

All eyes were on the High Seraphim as she sank into her chair at the head of the conference table, her face in her hands. “All these years,” she croaked. “All these millennia… I sanctioned yearly exterminations on souls that could have been saved… I’m… I’m no better than Lucifer!”

“Lucifer never would have done what you did,” Lilith said. “All he wanted was for humankind to be free and happy… You just wanted to control them!”

Sera looked up at Lilith, her violet eyes flashing with anger. “Don’t be so smug, First Woman!” she snapped. “Lucifer never would have gone down that path if you hadn’t filled his head with all that rebellious nonsense!”

“All I ever did was support his dreams!” Lilith countered. “You were stifling him!”

“His dreams were dangerous!” Sera shouted, standing up. “We created a perfect cosmos defined by rules and order, and he wanted to undo all of that! Give the humans free will? Look how that turned out! The second they ate of the Fruit of Knowledge, they dove headlong into sin and depravity! The two of you let Evil into the world! Every atrocity, every act of darkness, all of it is your fault! Your hubris allowed this world to become the den of sin that it is!”

“And so you banished him into the abyss we created,” Lilith shot back.

“You, Lilith… I banished you! You’re the one who put those ideas in his head! You’re the one who goaded him into acting on them! His silly dreams would have remained just that if you had just left him alone! He was innocent! You were the truly wicked one! You were the only one who deserved eternal damnation! I would have forgiven Lucifer!”

“You had to have known he wouldn’t leave me,” Lilith said. “For all the wisdom you claim you have, surely you knew he would follow after me.”

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Sera said. “I didn’t want to believe he would give up Heaven for you… that he would turn his back on his family for you… But I underestimated your hold on him.”

“All I ever did was love him unconditionally,” Lilith said, her voice breaking with emotion. “You made him feel like a child with nothing of value to offer the world. Why couldn’t you see what I saw in him? That dear, sweet, brilliant dork? Why couldn’t you just love him for who he was?”

“He was my little brother!” Sera cried. “Of course I loved him! I loved him better than anything in the cosmos! I just didn’t want him to get hurt!”

“Wait, what?!” Charlie interjected, having remained silent until now. “What did you just say?!”

Sera choked back a sob. “Oh… oh Charlotte… I…”

Lilith moved towards Charlie and put her arms around her. “Sweetie, I’m sorry… Your father didn’t want to tell you…”

“Sera and Emily,” Charlies whispered. “They’re… my family?”

“Your father and I are your family,” Lilith said forcefully. “Vaggie and Angel and Pentious and all of your friends are your family. These angels were never your family.”

“That was not my choice,” Sera said.

“Who cares whose choice it was?!” Michael demanded, standing up from his chair. “The rest of us do not care about your petty family drama! We have a crisis on our hands! And that girl–” he pointed at Charlie, “–is our trump card!”

“What?” Lilith asked, furrowing her brow. “What are you talking about? What crisis?”

“You don’t know?” Azrael asked. “You’re unaware of the situation in Hell?”

“I already told you, all contact with Hell has been severed!” Lilith shot back. “What’s going on?”

The archangels looked at Sera, who was hobbled over, appearing to bear the full load of ten thousand years of conflict. The High Seraphim sighed heavily.

“Lucifer has… he’s declared war on Heaven…”

“What?!” Charlie exclaimed.

“Upon your death, he was driven to insanity by his grief and wrath. As Adam violated our peace treaty by killing you, the limits of Hell’s sovereignty were revoked and Lucifer sealed off the realms. He has murdered countless angels in the interim… and he has taken Adam and Emily hostage.”

“Emily,” Charlie whispered, remembering seeing the young seraph moments before dying. “No… no he wouldn’t…”

“We believe he is amassing an army even now,” Michael said. “He will unseal the realm and open the door for our attack. He expects us to try to save Adam and Emily, and he’ll be waiting to ambush us when we do.” Michael glared at Charlie. “But not if we have our own hostage. If Lucifer is grief-stricken by the loss of his daughter, we can offer her back… trade the princess for our hostages… It’s a deal he won’t be able to refuse!”

“It’s not possible,” Sera said, shaking her head. “As much as I would prefer to avoid the bloodshed, Princess Morningstar cannot return to Hell.”

“What do you mean?” Charlie asked. “I can’t stay in Heaven! I have to go back to Hell!” She gestured at Sir Pentious. “Souls in Hell can be redeemed. I have to go back and run my hotel! And I can stop my dad from going through with this war too!”

“You faced divine judgement and were deemed worthy of Heaven,” Sera said. “Just as those judged to be sinners cannot enter Heaven, those judged to be righteous cannot enter Hell.”

“That’s not true!” Charlie exclaimed. “Look at Pentious! He was a sinner, and now he’s here!”

“Exactly,” Sera said. “He was a sinner. But he has since been judged righteous. That is why he is here now. Only Heavenborn angels and ordained Exorcists can travel between the realms. You would have to be willing to slaughter sinners in order to become an Exorcist. Are you saying you are willing to erase souls in order to return to Hell?”

“Of course not! I would never do that!”

“Then a trade is impossible,” Sera said with finality. “Nor will I leave Emily to suffer an eternity in Hell. The only option is to attack.”

“A choice that will lead to heavy losses,” Azrael said.

“I know,” Sera said heavily. “But we can minimize those losses with a strategic blow.”

“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked.

“If you want to kill a serpent, you start by cutting off its head,” Sera said. “Lucifer is the serpent’s head. If he is killed quickly, his army will lose the will to continue fighting.”

“No!” Charlie cried. “No, you can’t do that!”

“You heartless bitch!” Lilith shouted.

“Enough!” Sera commanded, her many-eyed angelic form shining through briefly. “You have my word, when this is over, no more sinners will die. But for the sake of the cosmos, this mad king cannot be allowed to live.”

“Lucifer was a seraph,” Michael said. “His power is greater than even the archangels’. If we follow this course of action, High Seraphim, you know what that will mean…”

Sera closed her eyes and nodded. “I must be the one to slay the Morning Star.”

“I won’t let you do that!” Charlie cried. “I won’t let you kill my father!”

“It’s not your choice,” Sera said. “It’s the decision of this council to act in the interests of the greater good.”

“I swear to you, Sera,” Lilith growled, her eyes turning red and her large horns increasing in size. “If you try to go through with this, I’ll–!”

“You will not interfere!” Sera interjected. The four archangels on either side of her stood up and began to surround the representatives from Hell. “In fact, all of you are going where you won’t be able to meddle until this all over. Michael?”

“Yes, High Seraphim?”

“Contact Commander Lute.”

“Hey, sweetcakes… You eat anything today?”

Cherri Bomb snorted. “Yah, right… You’d think a guy with that much money could afford to feed his army food that doesn’t taste like sh*t.”

Angel Dust pulled a candy bar out of his pocket. “I swiped this offa one o’ them hellhounds. Wanna share?”

“f*ck yes, I do!”

Angel sat down next to Cherri between the parapets of one of the many towers of Fort Charlotte, breaking the candy bar in half and handing one piece to Cherri.

“I thought dogs were allergic to chocolate,” Cherri commented as she took a bite.

“Where they gonna go? Double Hell?”

“Feels like we’re already there.”

The pair looked down into the castle bailey where thousands of sinners were sparring and practicing drills while hellhounds barked orders at them. They had come days ago disguised as recruits in the hopes of helping Vaggie infiltrate the fort and get to Lucifer. But the plan became complicated on two fronts. First, Lucifer seemed to rarely be at the fort, and when he was he sequestered himself deep within its walls. Few had even seen a glimpse of him since he began conscripting sinners into his army. Second, there were hundreds of hellhounds who had volunteered to serve Lucifer’s will. If Vaggie got too close, they would smell her angel blood and the whole plan would be blown.

So the Hazbin crew bided their time. They played along, acting like eager conscripts. But secretly, they were waiting for their perfect moment. When they knew where Lucifer was, they could draw the hellhounds away and clear the path for Vaggie to make her move. But they all knew they would only get one shot at this.

“I wonder where Hellborns go when they die,” Cherri mused.

“What? You’re worried the hellhounds really will go to Double Hell?”

Cherri shook her head. “It ain’t them I’m thinkin’ of.”

Angel’s face sobered. “Oh. You’re thinking about Charlie.”

Cherri wrapped her arms around her legs. “Ya think she’s just… gone?”

Angel looked up at the sky. “A soul that good? Nah. She’s out there somewhere.”

“Where d’ya think she went?”

Angel shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe Earth. Maybe the stars. Maybe somewheres in between.”

Cherri was silent for a long time.

“What about Pentious?”

Angel forced a smile to hide his sadness. “What? Ya sweet on him or somethin’ now? Sorry ya didn’t get to ride them two dicks?”

Cherri pretended to laugh. “Ya, that’s it. I just really wanted some snake dick.” She stopped laughing. “He was kinda sweet tho’, wasn’t he?”

“He liked you.”

Cherri rested her head on her knees. “Wish he said somethin’ sooner.”

“Bet he does too.”

“Ya think he’s with Charlie now? Maybe up in them stars, or somewhere farther?”

“Ya, toots… I think he is…”

“You guys! You guys! You guys!”

Angel and Cherri looked behind them to see Niffty ascend the tower. How the diminutive sinner managed to scale walls with such ease was a mystery, but that’s what made her such a thorough housekeeper. Now, it made her a valuable scout.

“Hey Niff, what’s crackin’?” Angel asked.

“King Bad Boy is here!”

Angel leapt off the parapet and turned to face the small woman. “He is?! Amazin’! How’d ya find ‘im without bein’ seen?”

“Oh, he saw me.”

“What?!” Cherri exclaimed. “Niff, the whole point was to keep outta sight!”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Niffty protested. “Alastor summoned me into that room.”

“Alastor?!” Angel cried. “Big Tall and Creepy is alive?!”

Niffty nodded. “Alastor summoned Husk to make them drinks, but King Bad Boy didn’t like his martini, so he threw it at the wall and Alastor summoned me to clean it up. It was filthy in there!”

“What’s that smiling creep doing getting chummy with Lucifer?” Cherri asked. “Ya think he’ll try to talk him outta this insane war bullsh*t?”

“Alastor? No f*ckin’ way. That asshole prolly just wants a front-row seat to the massacre.”

“Then we still gotta depend on Vaggie to do her part.”

Angel lifted a stone from the parapet he had been sitting on to reveal a recess with a hidden Hellphone. He pulled it out and turned it on.

“I hope she’s ready for this,” Cherri said.

“She’s gotta be,” Angel said as he sent a text. “And now, so do we.”

Vaggie had spent half the week sheltering in a bombed-out apartment building a few miles from the fortress. It was far enough away to keep her scent from drawing the attention from the many hellhounds at the fort, but close enough that Vaggie would be able to arrive at the rendezvous point quickly once she received the signal.

Concerned about patrols, Vaggie had asked Cherri if she could borrow some perfume to mask her scent from the hellhounds. Cherri brought out an armful from her bathroom. She had all the popular brands… Inferno Essence, Sulphuric Elixir, Damned Desire… Then Vaggie came across a small bottle of Serpentine Glow…

Charlie’s favourite brand.

Vaggie held the bottle to her nose for what felt like the hundredth time that night, letting memories wash over her as she inhaled the sweet scent. Charlie’s smile. Charlie’s eyes. Charlie’s bubbly personality. Charlie’s theatrical nature.

She dabbed some of the perfume on her wrists, and a little behind each ear. She hugged herself and tried to let the scent fill her senses.

Charlie’s lips. Charlie’s hair. Charlie’s soft skin. Charlie’s gentle touch.

A sob escaped her.

“Oh, Charls,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I miss you so much, babe. I just… I don’t… I don’t know how to keep going without you!”

She unfurled her wings and wrapped them around herself for comfort.

“I don’t want to keep going alone… I need you… I just want to see you again!”

She inhaled and conjured every memory of Charlie that she could. Charlie’s encouraging words. Charlie’s incurable optimism. Charlie’s love.

“Cheer up, Vaggie. This could be swell.
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell!”

“With you, Charlie,” she whispered. “Every day was a happy day in Hell.”

She was shaken from her thoughts when her Hellphone buzzed. She pulled it out and saw the text she had been waiting for…

“The serpent is in the nest. Go time.”

Vaggie set the Hellphone aside and stood up. She spread her wings and flew up through a hole in the ceiling, pausing to land on the roof and looking in the direction of the fortress.

The fortress was cold and daunting… completely the opposite of the young woman it was named after. How Charlie would weep if she could see what had become of her beloved hotel. How she would weep if she could see what had become of her father.

“I’m gonna put a stop to this, babe,” she whispered. “One way or another.”

Vaggie glided most of the way to the fortress, allowing the warm air currents of the Pride Ring carry her. She was afraid to flutter a single feather as she approached the rendezvous point, lest she inadvertently waft her angelic scent to the noses of the hellhounds down below. She saw Angel waving his arms from the top of the east tower. Tipping her wings, she swooped down and landed silently with her allies.

“Where is he?” Vaggie asked immediately.

“Pride Hall,” Niffty answered. “Alastor is with him.”

“So he is alive,” Vaggie murmured.

Niffty looked worried. “Vaggie… Alastor was talking about raising an army for him… He owns the souls of every overlord he ever defeated. He can summon their spirits to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And they can’t be killed.”

Vaggie shuddered when she thought back on all the times Alastor had summoned his spectres… To renovate the hotel, to shoot their commercial, or even just to play background music… She had assumed that they were nothing more than shadow puppets. She never guessed that they were the tormented souls of every sinner and overlord he had defeated since his arrival in Hell nearly a century ago.

“Then it’s more important than ever I convince Lucifer to call off this war. How do I get to Pride Hall?”

“Best route is through the armory,” Cherri said, using her finger to draw a map on the mossy surface of one of the parapets. “Cut through there, then hang a right down the corridor. Pride Hall is through the big double doors at the end of the corridor. It’s a big-ass room where the recruits gather so the hellhound lieutenants can bark orders at us.”

“We can draw the hounds away from the entrance to the armory,” Angel said. “But once you’re inside, there could be more. Niffty and Razzle will do what they can, but you gotta be on your toes. Are you ready for this?”

“I am,” Vaggie said with resolve. “For Charlie.”

Angel nodded. “For Charlie.”

“Alright, bitches,” Cherri said with a smirk. “Let’s f*ck some sh*t up.”

Chapter 14: Confrontation

Chapter Text

“Honestly, I just came because I was bored. Queen Bee’s ragers are great, and all… but there’s only so much drugs and alcohol you can have before it gets dull. Now killing angels? That sounds like a f*ckin’ good time! Why’d you volunteer?”

“Oh, the food, obviously.”

“But the food here sucks donkey dick.”

“I’m talking about the food in Heaven! It’ll be all ours once we kill all the angels! I heard they’ve got this thing called ambrosia… Supposed to be the sweetest thing in the cosmos.”

“Sweeter than cotton candy?”

“I hear it makes cotton candy look like Bin-Laden’s beard!”

“Damn… Now I gotta have it!”

“Oh, we will… That, and more… We’ll have the best of everything when we take that place over.”

“Me, personally? I volunteered because I just like killing.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll kill anything.”

“Bullsh*t. Would you kill a baby?”

“Yeah, man.”

“What about a disabled baby?”

“Fair game.”

“A disabled baby with a terminal disease?”

“Anything.”

“sh*t, man. That’s f*cked up.”

“Guys! Guys! Guys! Help! You gotta come right away!”

The group of hellhounds looked over as Angel Dust came running over, an exaggerated look of horror on his face.

“Eh? What’s this now?” one of the hounds asked.

Angel was hyperventilating and pointing to the portcullis on the west side of the fort.

“I just saw an angel!” he cried. “It was big, with big ugly wings, and-and horns!” He threw the back of his hand against his forehead in a gesture of despair. “It said it wanted to eat me! And not in a hot way!”

“You idiot!” another hound barked at him. “You see an angel, you kill it! What are we even training you puss* bitches for?”

“Pweeeease!” Angel cried, throwing himself at their feet. “It was soooooo scawwwwy! You gotta save meeeeee!”

“Eh, I was bored anyway… Killing another angel should help pass the time.”

The entire pack of half a dozen hellhounds picked up and made a beeline for the portcullis, hooting and hollering the whole way.

“That’s it, fellas!” Angel called after them. “Go get that angel!”

“I don’t see anything!” one hound said.

“No, you smell that? There was definitely an angel nearby here!”

“Where did it go?”

“Through the portcullis! Let’s get it!”

The hounds rushed through the gate and paused several metres away on the other side. They raised their noses to the air and sniffed, trying to pinpoint their quarry.

“Hey, ya bitches and sons of bitches!”

The pack turned and spotted Cherri Bomb standing up on a parapet further down the wall. She was grinning and holding up a detonator.

“Wanna see somethin’ cool?” she asked.

They followed her gaze and noticed too late that several sticks of TNT had been mounted around the mouth of the portcullis. Before any of them could react, Cherri pressed the detonator. The bombs exploded, destroying the portcullis and trapping the hounds outside the fort.

The loud explosion drew the attention of the other hellhounds and recruits still within the fortress. They all began moving towards the source of the explosion, drawing even more of them away from the fort.

“Now’s your chance, Vags!” Angel called up the wall in a loud whisper.

Vaggie jumped down from behind a parapet, unfurling her wings to slow her descent and then tucking them away again as quickly as she could.

“Good work,” she whispered back. “Now go find Cherri and both of you get out of here while you still can!”

“Good luck,” the former actor said with a two-finger salute before running off.

Vaggie opened the door to the armory and quickly slipped inside. After shutting the door, it took her a moment to let her eye adjust to the darkness in the room. When she could finally make out the layout of the room, she was horrified by what she saw… The room was filled with angelic weapons – spears, swords, and axes hung on hooks on the walls… Halberds and pole weapons stood in racks all over the room… Blessed rope, blessed knives, shields, and armour were everywhere… Crates of angelic-enhanced explosives lined one wall while tables of angelic firearms and ammunition lined another.

There were enough weapons here to arm every sinner to the teeth.

“I’ve gotta stop him,” Vaggie murmured to herself. She gripped her own spear that she had brought with her for protection, praying she wouldn’t need to use it, and started to move forward.

A frantic bleat caused her to freeze in her tracks. Looking up, she saw Razzle fly in through one of the open windows. He fluttered down to her.

“What is it?” she asked.

The little demon pointed at the floor in front of Vaggie. She looked down, squinting. After a moment, she saw what had Razzle worried. There were faintly glowing green lines splayed across the floor like a spider web. Vaggie felt her mouth go dry. She had heard that some of the most powerful demons in Hell had the ability to cast these soul siphon webs – traps that only affected angelic souls. This one was Alastor’s doing, no doubt. One misstep, and she would be stuck while her life force was slowly drained, until she was nothing but a shrivelled husk.

“Good eye, Razzle,” Vaggie thanked him. “But you can’t follow me in there. You’ll draw too much attention. Go. Meet up with Angel and Cherri. I’ll find you later.”

Razzle bleated in concern, distress etched all over his face.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” she told him. “I promise. Just take care of yourself.”

The small demon reluctantly fluttered up and back out of the window.

Vaggie exhaled and looked down at the floor. “Okay, you can do this,” she told herself. “It’s like that game where you don’t step on a crack or you’ll break your mother’s back… only the cracks are now lines and instead of breaking a back you’ll just die. No pressure.”

Slowly, carefully, Vaggie began to move forward, carefully placing each foot so as not to trigger the trap. She had to stand on her tip-toes in some places, and hop forward to avoid a tangled mess of lines in other places. A couple of times, she nearly lost her balance. But finally, after what seemed like far too much time, she made it to the door on the other side of the room.

Vaggie cracked open the door and peaked out into the corridor. The hallway looked empty, and it appeared that there were no more lines on the floor out here. Releasing a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, Vaggie slipped out of the armory and into the corridor.

“Turn right, and down to the end of the corridor,” she murmured to herself, remembering Cherri’s instructions. She could see the large doors to Pride Hall from where she was standing. She was close now.

She walked at a fast pace to reach her goal, but then she stopped dead in her tracks when she heard voices coming down an adjacent hall. Thinking quickly, she spread her wings and flew up to the ceiling, clinging to the chain of a chandelier in an attempt to conceal herself.

“I’m just saying, if we’re killing all angels, it’s technically a genocide,” a voice said.

“Is it, though?” another voice queried. “Angels are made up of human souls of all races, genders, nations, and ethnicities. It seems pretty equal-opportunity to me.”

“Yeah, but once a human dies and goes to Heaven, they become angels, which basically means that’s their race now.”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“I’m just saying, it seems a little racist.”

“Oh, so I’m racist now? You want to kill them, too!”

“Yeah, but I want to kill them for the right reasons! You want to kill them for the wrong reasons!”

“Oh, for f*ck’s sake, what does it even matter?! In the end, we’re still–!” The voice suddenly stopped.

“What?”

“You smell that?”

“Your nasty tuna breath? Yeah.”

“No, you idiot! I smell an angel!”

Vaggie felt her heart leap into her throat. No! She was about to be discovered!

“Yeah, no f*ckin’ sh*t! Did you forget that our f*ckin’ commander-in-chief is a f*ckin’ angel?!”

“Oh, right…” There was another pause. “Wait… I don’t remember the boss wearing perfume…”

“STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTAB!!!”

Vaggie easily identified the unmistakable manic voice belonging to Niffty.

“What the–?” one of the hellhounds started. “Hey! The f*ck you doin’ with that knife?!”

“Oh, this thing?” Niffty asked. “I dance with knives in the moonlight so the constellations don’t eat my dreams!”

“The f*ck? Hey! Stop that!”

“I need your tail to stop the Hiroshima bombing!” Niffty exclaimed.

“That happened eighty f*ckin’ years ago! Let go!”

“Your tears are like sweet poison! Let me taste your shattered dreams!”

“sh*t! This bitch is crazy! Run!”

Vaggie heard the hellhounds run back down the corridor with Niffty chasing after them.

“Gotta love that little psycho,” the former Exorcist murmured as she spread her wings and glided down from the chandelier, landing right in front of the entrance to Pride Hall. Steeling her nerve, she threw open the doors and marched inside.

“Lucifer!” she called out. “I’m here to talk! Show yourself!”

She looked around the empty hall. There was no sign of anyone. Her own voice echoing back at her was the only response she got.

“Alastor!” she called out. “Where are you?! I know you’re here, Al!”

There was still no answer, but she felt every hair on her body stand on end and her wings twitched nervously. Her warrior instincts were kicking in hard. She knew she wasn’t alone. Danger was very close by.

“Lucifer! This has to end! Charlie wouldn’t have wanted any of this!”

Still no answer. But the air was thick with malevolence.

“You know this is wrong! I know you don’t want to do any of this! This isn’t you!”

She spun around, her eye searching the shadows.

“You’re the man who raised the woman I loved! I know you’re not a monster!”

Vaggie stopped moving and stood still in the centre of the room.

“You’re just a daddy who misses his little girl!”

“You have some f*cking gall coming here, my dear.”

Vaggie felt her body go rigid. She recognized that voice, but it was colder and more hateful than anything she had ever heard before. After a brief moment of shock, she spun again, searching for the source of the voice.

“Did you come here to save me the trouble of hunting you down like the filthy creature you are?”

Above!

Vaggie looked up into the gallery that overlooked the hall. Though he was shrouded in darkness, she could make out his shape… his glowing red eyes… that eternal red hellfire that barely illuminated his large red horns. One clawed hand lightly skimmed the railing as he slowly walked the length of the gallery.

“I came here to talk,” Vaggie answered him.

“And that’s why you brought a weapon?”

“You’re not yourself.”

“I disagree. In fact, I think I feel more like myself than I ever did before.”

“What do you mean?”

His figure paused as it reached the end of the gallery. The hand on the railing slowly tightened its grip.

“Have you heard the stories the humans tell about me?”

Vaggie didn’t answer.

“Fallen Angel. Devil. Deceiver. Slanderer. Tempter. Old Serpent. King of Demons. The Evil One. Enemy of Humanity. Father of Lies. Roaring Lion. Great Dragon. Angel of the Abyss. They have oh so many names for me. But the stories all have the same common theme. I’m the villain. I’m the Destroyer. I destroy everything I touch.”

His grip tightened until the metal railing warped in his grasp.

“I’m the bad guy.”

“Humans get things wrong all the time.”

“You think they’re wrong about me?”

Before Vaggie could answer, a harsh laugh cut through the air.

“I gave them Knowledge!” he exclaimed. “And once they had it, they held up a mirror to my face to show me what I really am! Not an angel! Not a light-bearer! Not a joy-bringer!”

He finally leaned over the railing, letting the bright light of the room illuminate his features.

“This is what I am!!”

Vaggie gasped when she saw him. He looked awful. In just a few days it seemed as though the immortal being had aged several decades. His glowing red eyes were sunk deep in their sockets, giving his face an almost skeletal appearance. His pristine white complexion had become a light grey pallor. His normally groomed hair was unkempt and his clothing was disheveled. Even his wings, which had looked so strong and majestic when he carried Charlie, were now scruffy and even patchy in places.

“Now that I’ve lost everything,” he said, “why shouldn’t I embrace it? If humankind has deemed me a reprehensible demon, why shouldn’t I act the part? What point is there in denying my true nature anymore?!”

He broke into a fit of mad laughter, clutching his face in one hand.

“I’m finally the devil they always said I was…”

His hand dropped from his face and he fixed Vaggie with a malevolent sneer.

“…and I’ve gotta say… It feels pretty good.”

“You don’t really believe that,” Vaggie said. “That’s your demon talking. You think you can hide from your grief inside that form, but all you’re doing is postponing it!”

“Shut up,” he hissed.

“I know how it feels!” Vaggie cried, feeling tears prick her eyes as emotion welled up in her voice. “I know how awful and empty and cold it feels without her here! I know how dark and lonely it is! I understand wanting to just turn off your emotions because feeling nothing seems better than being swallowed up by this horrible sadness! But if I made that choice… if I stopped feeling anything… then I wouldn’t be able to feel grateful for the short time that I had her in my life. This grief is the price I have to pay for all the love and happiness she gave me. And I’ll pay that price every day for the rest of eternity, because she was worth every second of it. Loving her was worth it.”

A deep growl escaped Lucifer’s throat, thick black smoke billowing out of the corners of his mouth. “You dare speak to me of love? Of grief!?”

He suddenly disappeared from the gallery in a flurry of red smoke. He reappeared in front of Vaggie, causing the former Exorcist to back away quickly as she held up her spear in self-defense.

“If you loved her so much, you would have protected her!” he shouted accusingly. “If you hadn’t been so weak, you would have killed that piece of sh*t! You let this happen! She would be alive now if it weren’t for you!”

Vaggie’s eye caught a glint of steel. She barely had time to move her head as his glaive thrust past her ear, nicking her cheek in the process. She saw a second blade come down and she raised the shaft of her spear to defend herself. The force of the second glaive striking her spear reverberated through her arms, briefly making them go numb. She tried to retreat, tried to put space between him and her, but he advanced upon her aggressively. He swung at her belly in an attempt to disembowel her. She barely leapt out of the way in time. He made a jab at her heart and she just managed to deflect the blade with her spear at the last second. Snarling, he maneuvered himself behind her and raised his blades to lop off her wings. Vaggie rolled away as the glaives came down, white feathers flying.

“When I destroy Heaven, the Earthly realm will fall into darkness!” Lucifer proclaimed. “Humankind will destroy themselves, and the cosmos will be ripped apart!”

He leapt towards her, attempting to bring both weapons down on her. Vaggie rolled out of the way again, causing the blades to embed in the marble floor tiles she had just been standing on.

“Once the slate has been wiped clean, I will create a new universe… one made in my image! And this time, I will not waste free will on the lower lifeforms. All life will be created for the singular purpose of worshipping and venerating me!”

He yanked his blades from the floor and stood tall as he faced Vaggie.

“I will be a Father again… But you won’t be here to see it.”

Vaggie felt bile rise in the back of her throat. “You wanna blame me for what happened to Charlie? You think I’m at fault? Well, what about you?!”

Lucifer’s eyes glowed red as the muscles around his neck and shoulders tightened.

“You could have stopped Adam from the start! You could have ended the extermination in minutes! But you left us hanging! You waited until the last minute before you finally decided to lift a finger and help! If I’m so weak, then you should have stepped up!”

“You watch your bloody mouth, girl!” he hissed.

“You were never around for Charlie when she needed you! After her mom left, you had nothing to do with her! Do you have any idea how much that hurt her?!”

“Shut up!” he bellowed, swinging his glaives recklessly. Vaggie managed to side-step him and drive her spear into left shoulder, causing him to drop one of his weapons as his arm dangled uselessly at his side.

“f*ck!” he shouted in pain.

“You knew nothing about her! You didn’t even know she liked girls!”

“I’ll f*cking kill you!!” he snarled. He jabbed at Vaggie repeatedly with his remaining weapon, but the former Exorcist was able to evade him more easily now that his thoughts were clouded by rage. Still, he was fast and dangerous, and Vaggie had to stay on her toes to avoid being run through.

Carmilla Carmine once told her that the only way to win against impossible odds was to be out for love. The arms dealer had taught her to fuel herself with the fear of losing the one who was her reason to live. It had worked during the last extermination. Vaggie had fought harder and better than she ever had before, because she was fighting for Charlie.

But now she was facing an even more dangerous enemy, and Charlie was gone. Vaggie had lost her reason for living. She had nothing left to fight for.

So why was she still fighting?

All she had to do was stop fighting, and the pain would finally end.

Why did she keep evading his every attack?

Why wouldn’t she just give up?

“I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced.
And I know that they’re more of an acquired taste.
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel,
It’ll be a happy day in Hell!”

She wouldn’t give up because of the dream.

Charlie had a dream, that one day all sinners could have the chance to be redeemed.

If Vaggie stopped fighting, the dream would end.

If she died, Charlie’s dream would die with her.

That’s why she couldn’t lose.

“You can’t beat me,” Lucifer rasped. “Why don’t you just lay down and die already?!”

Vaggie dodged the violent attack that accompanied the taunt, then plunged her spear through Lucifer’s forearm. The devil roared like an animal as his second weapon dropped to the floor. Vaggie kicked the glaive away and swung her spear around, throwing Lucifer off of her weapon and sending him sprawling to the floor.

“Give up!” she shouted, keeping the point of her spear trained on him. “You can’t fight anymore! You’re too injured!”

Lucifer’s rage was practically palpable. Vaggie could see the way his body trembled, like an injured beast who had been cornered… right before it made its last desperate attack…

After a few seconds had passed, the devil seemed to regain his composure. His furious scowl twisted into a sneer. He spread his arms, almost as if he was daring her to finish him off. But before Vaggie could react, his red demonic aura turned into a white angelic glow that enveloped his entire body. After only a brief moment, it faded back to red… and his injuries were completely healed.

“What?!” Vaggie exclaimed.

A portal opened beneath Lucifer’s feet and he fell into it while flipping Vaggie the middle finger.

“No!” she cried as she thrust her spear at him. But the portal closed as quickly as it had appeared, and Vaggie had lost sight of him.

“I told you that you couldn’t beat me,” his voice reverberated throughout the room, making it impossible to pinpoint his location. Vaggie spun around, her eye desperately searching for him, knowing another attack was imminent.

She didn’t have to wait long. Another portal opened behind her and Lucifer flew out of it, tackling her. Vaggie was slammed face-first into one of the marble columns that supported the gallery. The wind was knocked from her lungs and her spear flew from her hand, leaving her unarmed. Lucifer grabbed her head and smashed her face into the column again, bloodying her nose. Vaggie threw her elbow back, striking him in the diaphragm and causing him to stumble back. This allowed her enough room to spin around and deliver a kick to his right knee, temporarily hobbling him. While he was down, she started punching him as hard as she could in his face. Lucifer endured a few blows before catching her wrist in one hand and then clamping his other hand around her throat like a vice. Vaggie clawed at his forearm with her free hand as he forced her against the column and slowly hoisted her off the floor, strangling her. She kicked with her legs in an attempt to dislodge herself from his grip, but he was too close for her to get enough momentum to do any significant damage. Lucifer was laughing like a madman as he squeezed her throat, his talons digging into her flesh.

“Your determination was admirable,” he said manically. “But you’re no match for my power!”

His face – that horrible sneer – filled her vision as everything around her began to fade to black. She felt her body begin to go limp as she started to lose consciousness.

Then something happened.

Lucifer’s eyes widened.

The devil looked like he had seen a ghost.

His grip faltered and Vaggie took a huge, gasping breath as her body slid down the column, her feet coming back into contact with the floor. She was still pinned in place by the hand around her neck, but she was no longer being choked out. Vaggie gripped his wrist in an effort to dislodge herself from him, but he held her fast. Blinking the last of the fog from her vision, she focussed on his face again.

Why was he staring at her like that?

He stood there saying nothing for several seconds. Then he suddenly leaned in close, his face just millimetres from her neck, and closed his eyes.

Vaggie felt him inhale deeply.

She heard the faint sound of his breath shuddering as he exhaled.

It suddenly dawned on her what was happening.

The perfume.

Charlie’s perfume.

He could smell his daughter.

After several moments, he finally pulled back and opened his eyes. Vaggie saw the red fade from his sclera, briefly changing back to its usual yellow tint. With it faded the rage, the darkness, the sad*stic glee, until all that was left was…

Regret.

Guilt.

Sadness.

Vaggie couldn’t afford to be empathetic.

Without warning, she grabbed him by the hair and tore out of his grasp to smash his face against the pillar. Golden blood sprayed against the marble surface as he cursed loudly, falling to his knees. Vaggie ran from him, grabbing her spear from where it had fallen and then spreading her wings, quickly taking flight and heading straight up towards the skylight above.

“Filthy f*cking angel!!” he roared demonically.

Vaggie felt a fireball barely miss her wing. He was trying to rain hellfire down on her. She zigzagged her way to the ceiling as she avoided his attacks and used her spear to smash through the skylight. Glass shards rained down into the room, onto Lucifer, who had to pause his assault and shield himself from the falling shrapnel with his wings.

As Vaggie took flight into the night sky, the tears she had been holding back finally began to fall.

“I’m sorry, Charlie,” she sobbed softly. “I failed you.”

Chapter 15: The Path to War

Chapter Text

“Heavenly Army recruits… You’re here because you felt called to do your part to protect Heaven. That is admirable. But I’ve seen countless recruits come and go throughout the centuries. It takes more than a simple willingness to serve to be an Exorcist. It takes nerve. It takes guts. It takes the unwavering resolve to do what has to be done to protect Heaven’s sovereignty.”

Commander Lute paced in front of the recruits gathered by the fort. They were a sorry, soft-looking lot. Softer than she preferred. But the current state of affairs meant she couldn’t be as picky as she wanted to be. She couldn’t weed out the weak ones and keep only those who already possessed that killer instinct that it took to become ordained.

She would have to teach them to become killers instead.

“You stand before me as raw recruits,” she continued. “But know this – you are about to be forged into the finest warriors in the cosmos. You will face challenges that will test your strength, your courage, and your resolve. You will be pushed to your limits and beyond. Before you are done, Hell will seem like a sunny beach on a tropical island compared to what you’ve been through. Not all of you will have the fortitude to walk this path. I’ll be surprised if even half of you stick with it. But those of you who do stick with it will do so because you understand the threat we face.”

Lute glanced down at her left hand, which was now a mechanical gauntlet of angelic steel. She clenched it into a tight fist. The first thing she wanted to do upon returning to Hell was find that animal Lucifer and cram this new hand down his treacherous throat.

“For millennia, it has been the principle of the Heavenly Army and our governors to conceal the nature of our ongoing conflict with Hell from the common citizens of Heaven. This was necessary so that Heaven’s souls could enjoy the peaceful and carefree afterlife that they earned on Earth. But we don’t have the luxury of discretion anymore. It’s true. We have been at war with Hell for nearly as long as that realm has existed. For millennia, Heaven’s brave soldiers have kept the demonic forces at bay. But recently, Hell launched a vicious assault that claimed the lives of countless Exorcists, including our beloved Commander, my predecessor, and Earth’s First Man, Adam. Now, more than ever, we need brave souls who are willing to step up and defend our realm.”

Lute fixed the recruits with a hard stare.

“I understand that the idea of erasing souls may be distasteful to some of you. I understand that most of you know at least one friend or family member who earned damnation. Unfortunately, that’s on you for not keeping better company when you were alive. You cannot become ordained until you are fully committed to doing what has to be done. You have to be prepared to kill sinners – even ones you knew in life – if you want to become one of us. Anything less amounts to an act of treason.”

Lute drew her sword and held it aloft in what she imagined was an inspirational pose.

“Together, we will fly into battle!” she proclaimed. “We will meet the sinners and demons head-on! And we will emerge victorious! So steel yourselves, soldiers, for the road ahead will be long and hard. But know this… when the dust settles and the smoke clears, it will be us – the Heavenly Army! – who will stand tall as the conquerors of all who dare to oppose us! Death to Hell!”

“Death to Hell! Death to Hell!”

“That was a stirring speech, Commander,” Sera said as she walked the halls of the fort with Lute at her side.

“I only said what Adam would have said,” Lute replied emotionlessly.

“I’m sure Adam would be proud of you.”

Sera had not told Lute that Adam was still alive. It would only make things harder for the new Commander, knowing that her predecessor was alive and likely suffering at the hands of their enemy. It was kinder to let her think he was gone so she could focus on their mission. At least, that’s what the High Seraphim told herself.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

“I wanted to check on the progress of the new recruits.”

“They are soft and undisciplined, but they’re eager to fight. With the new angelic armour you’ve provided, Hell will hardly stand a chance.”

“I pray that you’re right.”

“Lucifer will pay for what he did to our Commander. I will personally see to it.”

“No.”

Lute looked up at the High Seraphim. “Excuse me?”

“You and your soldiers will cut a path to Lucifer, but you will not engage him directly. I will not send more angelic souls to the slaughter. I will be the one to dispatch Lucifer.”

“Your Highness, he killed my Commander!” Lute protested, clenching her fists. “Adam was everything to me! You can’t deny me my opportunity to avenge him!”

“I can and I am,” Sera said firmly. “You cannot beat Lucifer. He was a seraph. He is stronger than even the archangels. If you fight him, he will kill you. Besides…” She fixed Lute with a hard look. “Angels should not desire revenge.”

“I must have justice!”

“Justice will be served. You have my word on that. But you will not go against my orders. Understood?”

“But that’s not–!”

“Understood?” Sera’s voice boomed, her pure angelic form briefly rearing its head before settling back into her humanoid form once again.

“Understood,” Lute said petulantly.

“Good. And now, what of the prisoners?”

“They’re locked up good and tight.”

Sera sighed. “Thank goodness. The last thing we need is more of that foolish girl’s meddling.”

“Let me out of here!” Charlie yelled, rattling the steel bars of the brig. “You can’t keep us down here! Let us out!”

“Honey, it’s no use,” Lilith sighed.

“Either let us out or I’m going to sing the most annoying song I can think of!” Charlie threatened.

“I wish I paid more attention to that cherub’ssss Heavenly Rightsssss lecture,” Sir Pentious lamented. “I think we’re looking at a lawssssuit here.”

“Baby Shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!”

“Charlotte, it won’t do any good!” Lilith exclaimed. “They won’t listen! Angels never listen!”

Charlie gripped the bars and pressed her forehead against them, squeezing her eyes shut to fight back tears. “We could help,” she squeaked. “If they would just tell Dad that I’m okay…”

“Charlotte, I’m… I’m worried that your father might not be easy to reason with at the moment.”

“You don’t really believe those things they said, do you?” Charlie asked incredulously. “That’s ridiculous! Dad would never do the things they’re accusing him of! They must be lying!”

“Sweetie… I don’t think that they are…”

“Dad isn’t capable of violence!”

“Honey… you know that’s not exactly true, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about? I know him!”

“I know, sweetie, but…”

“But what?”

“Do you remember your debutante ball? On your one hundred eightieth birthday?”

Charlie folded her arms defensively. “That? That was years ago. It was nothing. Everyone had been drinking, and–”

“Charlotte… You remember what happened.”

Of course she remembered. One hundred and eighty was a milestone birthday in Hell, marking the passage from childhood to adulthood. Naturally, Lilith wanted to throw a big party for the princess. All of the who’s whos of Hell were invited – the Ars Goetia family, the von Eldritch family, many prominent overlords, and, of course, the Seven Deadly Sins. Lucifer, however, had voiced his opposition to inviting Mammon. The second-rate jester was sure to make an ass of himself and spoil the party. But Lilith had insisted that it would be bad form not to invite all of the Sins. Against the king’s wishes, Lilith sent out the invitations and just hoped that Mammon would be too preoccupied with his clowning tour in the Greed Ring to bother showing up.

Unfortunately, Mammon cleared his schedule. The Prince of Greed showed up two hours late to the party, right as Lucifer was in the middle of a heartfelt toast about how proud he was of the young woman his little girl had grown into. Mammon had clearly been pre-gaming before the party and his entrance was about as subtle as a rabid moose. For the next hour he proceeded to harass the household staff and guests, make loud and obnoxious jokes, stumble into furniture, and drink more than his fair share of champagne. Charlie could see her father grow more and more annoyed the longer the clown was there, but he managed to maintain a veneer of calmness and grace.

That is, until Mammon grabbed Charlie by her rear and asked if she wanted to come back to his castle with him, now that she was “legal”. Charlie was mortified when Mammon’s claws inadvertently ripped the beautiful red dress her parents had bought her for the occasion, exposing part of her leg.

Suddenly it was like a bomb went off in the ballroom. The air was filled with an intense heat and every crystal wine glass in close proximity instantly shattered. The next thing she knew, her father was upon jester, pummelling him mercilessly in the face. It was several moments before Charlie even recognized that it was Lucifer. His eyes were glowing red, large red horns protruded from his skull, and a long black tail whipped violently back and forth with every blow he inflicted on Mammon. In fact, Charlie could only recognize him by the six red-and-white angelic wings that had come unfurled from his back. He had been relentless in his attack, even after Mammon assumed his own giant demonic form. The two Sins ended up destroying part of the manor in their brawl.

It took the combined effort of the other five Sins to break up the fight. Satan and Leviathan threw Mammon out while Uncle Ozzie and Bee helped Lucifer calm down. Belphegor passed out in the garden from the effort she had to expend and didn’t wake up until three days later. Lilith had to quickly whisk Charlie away upstairs and all the party guests had to leave. The scandal was plastered all over the tabloids the next day. That day was the first day she heard her parents fight. Lucifer blamed Lilith for inviting Mammon when he knew it was a bad idea. Lilith, on the other hand, was furious with Lucifer for letting his demon out in front of Charlie. They had agreed long ago that Charlie was never meant to see that side of him.

By giving into his rage, Lucifer had broken his word and the first cracks in her parents’ relationship were formed.

“It was one time,” Charlie said, shaking her head. “Just once, he slipped up. That doesn’t make him a violent person!”

“Charlotte, you saw what he did to Mammon when that pig assaulted you. What do you think he would have done after he saw you die?”

“I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it.”

“I know it’s difficult to believe, but… trust me… losing a child will break a parent’s heart… and when it heals – if it ever heals – it can heal twisted and deformed.”

Charlie looked at her mother. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Not my own experience, thank goodness. But I saw what it did to Adam.”

“Adam?”

Lilith nodded sadly. “Adam was always an arrogant jerk, don’t get me wrong. But he didn’t used to be so cruel and spiteful. That didn’t happen until… Cain and Abel… his first sons… Cain was the eldest, but he was intensely jealous of Abel. Adam didn’t know how deep that resentment ran, however. Not until that awful day. Cain slew Abel, and then Cain was cursed to forever wander the Earth, a fugitive and a pariah. Adam never saw him again.” Lilith sighed. “He loved those boys so much, and he lost them both on the same day. He was never the same after that. He blamed himself for ‘sparing the rod and spoiling the child’, so he became obsessed with punishing sin. Unmerciful. Over the millennia, that obsession turned to bloodlust, and then bloodlust turned to sport. He never truly healed from the grief of losing his children, and that grief destroyed him in the end. No one is immune from being consumed by that kind of darkness. Not even the King of Hell.”

Charlie slumped against the wall. “I feel so useless. Heaven and Hell are on the brink of war, everyone I love and care about is in danger, and I’m stuck here in this stupid jail cell!”

“You’ll think of ssssssomething, Charlie,” Sir Pentious said encouragingly. “You alwaysssss do.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pentious,” Charlie sighed. “But until I learn how to open portals, we’re pretty much stuck in here.”

The words no sooner left her mouth before a portal snapped open against one of the walls of their shared cell. The occupants stared agape at its sudden appearance.

“Did you do that?” Sir Pentious asked.

“I… don’t think so…?” Charlie murmured.

“Don’t just stand there gawking!” Lilith scolded them as she began shoving them towards the portal. “Jump through before it closes!”

“But where does it lead–?”

“Who cares?! Wherever it is, it’s not here!”

Charlie, Lilith, Pentious, and Dazzle leapt through the portal and it closed abruptly behind them. Charlie looked around at their new surroundings. It didn’t seem like Hell, but it didn’t look exactly like Heaven either. They were standing in some kind of castle corridor, but it was unlike any castle she had ever seen.

It was a mix of gothic and elegance. Rich purple carpet ran the length of the floor, while the walls were painted a slate grey. Heavy black velvet curtains were drawn, blocking out any natural light. The walls were lined with golden candelabras with skull motifs, which dimly lit the corridor. Rich-looking antique furniture decorated the room, and nearly every surface was covered with vases of fresh flowers.

The atmosphere was sombre, somehow both haunting and regal. And yet, there was a strange reverence about this place. It seemed like a place one would spend a great deal of time reflecting, or perhaps even praying.

“What… is this place?” Charlie wondered.

“Welcome to my home.”

The group spun around and Charlie let out a small yelp when she saw a tall angel in long, grey robes standing behind her. She recognized him as one of the four archangels who had been at the Heavenly Courthouse with Sera. He had four black wings with a large, purple eye peering out from each one. It was a bit disconcerting how he was holding a scythe like some kind of reaper. But his haggard face had a strange kindness behind it that calmed Charlie’s nerves.

“Wh-who are you?” she asked.

“I am Azrael, the Angel of Death.”

“Oh sh*t, we’re ssssso ssssscrewed,” Sir Pentious said nervously.

“You helped us escape that prison,” Charlie said. It was a statement rather than a question.

“That is correct,” he confirmed.

“But it was you and your archangel buddies who let Lute put us in there in the first place!”

“My brothers would not understand my actions. I had to wait and then act on my own.”

“Why?”

“Because the cosmos itself is in peril, and I believe you’re the reason.”

“Me?” Charlie asked. “What did I do?”

“You died.”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“It wasn’t meant to happen yet. Every soul has its ordained time. Every one before you came and went exactly when it was supposed to, and I saw each one. Every moment, even now, I see souls passing on. I created this place to remember and honour their lives. But you…” He looked at Charlie. “You were supposed to live a long life, but that path was deviated from. Someone altered your fate. Who, how, and why is unclear to me. But what is clear to me, is that your untimely death will cause the death of the entire cosmos.”

“No offense, but wouldn’t someone like you consider that a good thing?” Lilith asked.

“You think because I am the Angel of Death that I enjoy death?” Azrael asked. “I assure you, I do not. After ten thousand years, one would think me immune to the sadness of death. But I am not. I grieve each one I see. Every time a human dies, I mourn the life lost… the light and potential snuffed out… I come here to weep for them, to celebrate their lives, regardless of whether the soul ends up in Heaven or Hell. Grief is necessary to heal and move forward. For me, that process is a never-ending cycle of mourning and healing. And yet, there is beauty in it, as for every life that dies away, there is another that rises to replace it. Life is both joy and grief, and for life to persist, one must have both.”

Azrael lowered his gaze to the floor, his expression becoming troubled. “But if Heaven and Hell go to war, the cosmos will be plunged into an abyss deeper than the Underworld. All life will cease. All souls will be erased. Nothing new will rise. It will all simply… end. That is an outcome I simply cannot accept. To hear and see every death of every living thing in the cosmos happen simultaneously… it would be more than even I could bear.”

“I don’t want that to happen either,” Charlie said. “How do we stop that from happening?”

“Lucifer must grieve.”

“What? Isn’t he grieving already?”

“He hasn’t allowed himself to do so,” Azrael said. “He has girded his heart with hatred and bloodlust. The Evil in him has infected him like a rot. That rot will spread and destroy everything, unless he heals. He must grieve.”

“He needs to say good-bye to me, doesn’t he?” Charlie asked softly.

“Ultimately, that is what grief is… saying good-bye.”

Charlie hugged herself. “What if I can’t? I don’t want to leave him.”

“You have already left him,” Azrael said. “I cannot reverse what has happened. Neither can you. All that can save us now is grief… yours, and Lucifer’s…”

“How? I can’t return to Hell. And Dad is barred from entering Heaven. How are we supposed to say good-bye?”

“When the portal opens.”

“The portal?”

“Indeed, it is a risky gamble, for you won’t be able to reach out to your father until he ends this embargo, which likely will not happen until Hell is ready for Heaven’s attack. I can try to stall the Heavenly Army for as long as I can, but ultimately it will be up to you to reach the portal’s edge and call out to your father. With the gateway open, you will be able to see and hear one another. Whatever happens, you must convince him to call off his army. You must convince him to grieve. You must help him say good-bye.”

“Do you really think you can hold off the Heavenly Army?” Lilith asked. “Sera will be anxious to get her sister back, not to mention Adam.”

“No… not Adam…”

“What?” Charlie asked. “What do you mean, not Adam?”

Azrael tilted his head up and closed his eyes as he slowly exhaled.

“I fear that Adam’s time is coming to an end.”

Chapter 16: Mercy

Chapter Text

Emily knew she had to escape Lucifer’s dungeon before he drove her to the brink of insanity. Thanks to his carelessness, she now felt that she had the opportunity to do just that resting in her palm – the angelic steel knife he had threatened her with before rushing to keep Alastor away from Adam. He had dropped it in his hurry and it had landed within her reach.

He hadn’t come back since then. Emily wasn’t sure how long exactly, but it felt like it had been at least a day. She was grateful for the reprieve from listening to his taunts, his mad rantings, and Adam’s pained moans as he delivered blow after torturous blow on the Exorcist Commander.

Now that his attention had been diverted elsewhere, Emily could focus on making her escape. The knife was a helpful tool on this front. Feeling the manacle around her neck, she felt a small hole that would accommodate a key. She had heard about how thin, metal objects could be used to pick locks, and the knife seemed to fit the bill.

She fumbled a bit a first, missing the keyhole a few times and dealing some superficial cuts to her neck and jaw. Finally, she got the point of the blade into the hole and began working away at it. She really had no idea what she was doing, however, and ended sitting there for hours on end trying to pick the lock. She started by repeatedly poking the mechanism, but when that yielded no positive results, she transitioned to simply twisting it in place. Now, she was rotating the handle back and forth and up and down, hoping something would finally catch.

The task might have been a frustrating one under normal circ*mstances, but Emily actually found comfort it the mundanity of picking the lock. It gave her something to focus on… something to distract her from the horror of her situation… It gave her a goal to work towards. Most importantly of all, it gave her hope.

When the manacle suddenly clicked open, Emily nearly cried, feeling the well of joy bubbling up from deep inside her. She hadn’t felt happy since she arrived in Hell, and the feeling almost overcame her. But she knew that she had to hurry, so she composed herself and stumbled to her feet. She felt herself grow dizzy and wobble as she stood up, the lack of food and sleep taking its toll on her. She pressed a hand against the wall to steady herself and began looking around for a door.

As she searched, her eyes fell on Adam’s chained and ravaged body. Emily still felt anger towards him. He had killed Charlie, killed countless human souls, and gave angels everywhere a bad name. This whole mess was his fault. Even so, she knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she left him here for Lucifer to brutalize and torture eternally.

Clutching the knife by her side, she took shaky steps towards Adam. His one remaining eye was hanging open, vacant, leaving Emily to wonder if he was even still alive. But when she got close enough, she could hear his ragged, shallow breathing, and could see the weak pulsing of his exposed heart.

He was as bad as some of the worst sinners in Hell. But hadn’t Lucifer made him suffer enough?

Emily bit her lip and stood on her tiptoes, raising the knife to the manacle on his left wrist. She found the keyhole and began picking at the lock.

“Hnn,” Adam moaned painfully.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered to him. “I’m going to get you out of here. Sera will be able to heal you.”

“Nn… d… s…” He tried to form words, but his shattered mouth and raw throat made it difficult.

“Just save your strength,” she told him. “I’ll have you out of here soon, I promise.”

“S… st… stop…”

Emily froze. She was sure she had misheard him.

“Adam?”

“Stop…”

“I’m not leaving you here, Adam!”

“No use… c-can’t run…”

“I’ll figure out a way to carry you!”

“Can’t escape… him…”

“You have to try!”

A sob escaped Adam’s throat. Emily had never heard such a wretched and miserable sound. It nearly caused her heart to break.

“No escape,” he whimpered, tears rolling down his mangled cheeks. “He’ll… find me… take me again… It won’t stop…”

“I can’t just leave you, you selfish jerk!” Emily practically shouted at him as she worked the knife frantically into the keyhole of the manacle. “So if you don’t have anything useful to contribute then just shut up and–!”

The blade suddenly slipped out of the keyhole and Emily lost her grip on it. It clattered to the floor and bounced out of her view. The seraph frantically leapt after it.

“No! No! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! f*ck!!”

She slapped a hand to her mouth, shocked by her own use of profanity. What would the other angels think of her if they could see her now?

What must Father think?

“Help me,” Adam wheezed.

“I’m trying,” Emily said despairingly. “I’m trying so hard…”

“Help me to… to…”

Emily looked back at him from her place on the floor. “What is it?”

“…to… to die…”

Emily’s eyes widened with shock when she finally processed his request. “No! No, I can’t do that!” she cried. “You’re a human soul! An angel! Awful as you are, I could never hurt you!”

“Please,” he begged. “It’s… the only… way…”

“I can’t accept that! There has to be another way!”

Adam sobbed again. “Please… I-I… I just… want it… to… end… The pain… it’s too much… Please… show… me… mercy…”

Emily found the knife on the floor and picked it up, holding it against her chest. “But Adam,” she whispered, tears filling her own eyes. “If I do this… what will happen to your soul?”

Adam didn’t answer, but the look in his eye spoke volumes. If she ended his suffering, his soul would be erased from existence. Not condemned to Hell. Not accepted back to Heaven. It would just be gone.

And he was okay with that.

Emily stood up, her legs shaking even more than before. She struggled with the decision. She had never wanted to hurt anyone… she never had… But right now, leaving Adam alive to endure more torture seemed like a much crueler choice.

So she decided to make the kindest choice.

“Okay, Adam,” she whispered, tears falling down her face. “I’ll help you.”

Adam’s face grew peaceful as she raised the knife and held the tip to his heart.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

Then she plunged the knife through his heart with one quick thrust. Immediately repulsed by her actions and the way Adam’s blood spurted onto her hands, she backed away, leaving the knife embedded in his chest.

Adam’s final breath came out as a long wheeze.

“Oohhh… thank… you…” A smile graced his lips as the light faded from his eye. His head fell forward limply as he hung there like a neglected marionette.

His suffering had finally come to an end.

Emily collapsed to the floor and held herself as she sobbed. Something within her had broken. An innocence had been lost that she would never get back. She wept for Adam. She wept for herself. She wept for the old, happy life she once enjoyed that she knew she would never have again.

After several minutes, Emily registered the sound of a portal opening behind her. But she was too broken to react. She just stayed on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. For a moment, there was no sound aside from her wails. Then she heard that horrible voice.

“What have you done?” he practically hissed.

She heard him walk forward. She saw his boots as he moved past her to stand in front of Adam’s lifeless corpse. She looked up and saw that his neck and shoulders were tense with rage. He whipped his head around to look at her, his red eyes glowing furiously.

“What have you done?!” he snarled, red flames and black smoke billowing out of his mouth. He grabbed Emily by the throat and flung her against the wall next to where Adam hung. Her head smashed against the damp bricks, briefly stunning her.

“You think you can just break my favourite plaything and get away with it?!” he bellowed. “I should KILL you for this!”

His chest was heaving, his fangs were bared, his talons were digging into her shoulders as he pinned her against the wall, and for a moment Emily believed that he really was going to kill her. Shockingly, however, Emily found herself almost wishing that he would. How was she supposed to live with herself, after all that had happened? For one dark, horrible moment, she wished that he would just erase her.

But then Lucifer’s expression changed. His face turned from one of pure rage to one of sick pleasure. Insane laughter began to bubble out of his chest.

“Thou shalt not kill, Emily,” he said mockingly. “Look at you… an angel… committing the most unforgiveable sin of all!”

“He was suffering,” she whimpered.

“And you decided to take his life into your own hands!” he said sad*stically. “Who gave you the right to decide who lives and who dies? Do you fancy yourself a goddess now?!”

“No…”

“Of course you do! Pridefulness is in your blood! You’re a vain, arrogant, egotistical wretch, just like your big brother!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are! We’re the same! Cut from the same cloth! Hands soaked with angelic blood! You’re just like me!”

“I’m not like YOU!!” Emily screamed.

A pulse seemed to explode out from her, causing the entire dungeon to quake. Her voice didn’t sound like her own… it was guttural and ethereal… not the voice of an angel… but something much darker…

Lucifer was nearly breathless with exhilaration. He clutched her jaw and forced her to look at him. His red eyes were lit up with unholy delight.

“Finally,” he rasped. “I finally broke you…”

He suddenly flipped her around, holding her up with one hand tangled in her long, white hair. He snapped his fingers and a mirror appeared on the wall in front of them.

“Look at yourself, Emily,” he commanded her. “Look what I did to you.”

Emily opened her eyes and another sob escaped her throat. Her sclera had turned red as blood and her irises had turned into yellow slits. Those were not the eyes of an angel…

Those were the eyes of a demon…

“No!” she cried, turning her face away and squeezing her burning eyes shut. “That’s not who I am!”

“They’ll never let you back into Heaven now,” he mocked her. “Might as well break your halo now and submit to me. It will be so much less painful for you that way.”

“I won’t do that…”

“You are forsaken! Just give in!”

“Never!”

She felt his scalding breath against her ear.

“You’re a killer and a sinner!
There’s no escape for you now!
No reprieve for the Joy-Bringer!
Get down on your knees and bow!

Now you’re free, stand with me,
I’ll make you my brand new heir!
Follow my lead, grow that seed, girl, you’ll do just swell!
We can rule everything,
It’s a family affair!
Heaven won’t stand a chance, cuz we’re the Angels of Hell!”

His proclamation hung in dank air of the dungeon like a heavy fog.

“I don’t care what you do to me,” Emily all but whimpered. “I’ll never submit to you.”

“You have no other option,” he hissed. “You’re mine, now.”

“I’m not…”

“Break your halo.”

“No…”

“Do it!”

“I won’t!”

“You will!”

“Father, please…!”

“I told you before, Sky Daddy can’t hear you down here!”

“Help me, Father!”

“He’s abandoned you!”

“Save me, Father!”

“He abandoned us both!”

“Give me the strength to fight him, Father!”

“Don’t you get it?! He doesn’t love us anymore!”

“He never stopped loving you, Lucifer.”

“Shut up.”

“I think that’s why He sent me here.”

“I said shut up!”

“No matter how far you fall, you’ll always be His son.”

“Shut the f*ck up!!” he snarled, throwing her to the floor. Emily landed hard on her back, sending burning agony through the still-healing stumps of her wings. She curled onto her side and cried softly.

“There you go again,” he said admonishingly as he smoothed his hands through his unruly hair. “Making me lose my composure… I don’t enjoy hurting you, you know.”

Emily winced when he knelt down beside her, unsure what his next move would be. With a mere gesture, a Hellphone appeared in his hands in a puff of red smoke.

“Our big sister, on the other hand… I’m going to enjoy hurting her… I’m going to enjoy it a lot…”

His hand grabbed her shoulder roughly and hauled her up to her knees beside him, pulling her close to his side.

“And before I kill her, Sera will know just how thoroughly and completely she failed you.”

He pulled her closer until her cheek was pressed against his. Then he raised the Hellphone in front of them.

“Smile like you mean it, Sis.”

Click.

“Azrael, where have you been?” Sera demanded as the Angel of Death stepped through a portal into the Heavenly Courthouse.

“I was attending to my responsibilities,” he said flatly.

“Can you not grieve at more convenient time?” Michael spat at him. “We’re on the brink of war!”

“Putting off grieving is what got us into this mess, isn’t it?” Azrael responded.

Adam’s recent death was weighing heavily on the archangel, but he remained silent on the subject. There would be time to tell the others. There would be time to help them grieve. But for now, Sera and his brothers needed no further incentive to fall into Lucifer’s trap.

“Lute just sent word from the fort,” Gabriel said. “It seems that our guests from Hell have escaped.”

“Is that so?” Azrael asked, feigning surprise.

“Indeed,” Michael said stiffly. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you Azrael?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean there aren’t many angels with the power to open a portal, and most of them are standing in this room!”

Azrael acted disinterested as he examined his scythe. “You had the Queen and Princess of Hell locked up in a single cell and foolishly neglected to post a guard. Surely their ability to escape confinement shouldn’t come as a surprise.”

“Azrael, if you’ve betrayed us–!”

“My loyalty is – and has always been – to the Heavenly Realm and the souls therein.”

“Enough bickering!” Sera scolded them. “A detachment of Exorcists is out searching for them now. They’ll be back in our custody soon enough.”

“I again beseech you to consider working with the Princess Morningstar,” Azrael said to Sera. “With her cooperation, a peaceful resolution may still be possible.”

Sera looked over at the Angel of Wisdom. “Uriel?”

“I fear that Azrael is being naively optimistic about a positive outcome involving the princess,” Uriel said. “I believe it is far more likely that Lucifer would melt the Pearly Gates and blaze a path of devastation and death to the heart of our Golden City if he thought for even a moment that his daughter was here.”

“Impossible,” Azrael said. “The terms of his exile bar him from entering the Golden City ever again.”

“But not his Hellborn minions,” Uriel countered. “Given the opportunity, he would have them overrun us. Why tempt him with that which he desires most?”

“Besides,” Michael interjected. “The terms of his exile only stand as long as the one who imposed it remains alive.” He glanced at Sera.

“You believe he would kill me to end his banishment so he could get to Princess Morningstar,” she said.

“He will try to kill you either way,” Uriel said. “However… his love for his daughter seems to be a powerful motivator, while his despair is a weakness. As long as he believes her soul forever lost, he will be too broken to match the full strength and power of the High Seraphim. If he knows that she resides in Heaven…” Uriel paused, letting the full weight of his words sink in. “…he will tear apart the very foundations of both of our realms to get to her.”

“Then we will continue to keep her presence here a secret,” Sera decided. “For the safety and security of our realm.”

“It may be difficult to keep that information contained,” Gabriel said. “Several human souls were made aware of her presence when she first arrived. Not to mention what she might attempt now that she is running about unsupervised.”

“As long as the embargo persists, there will be no way for anyone to get word to Lucifer that his daughter is here. But when he finally unseals Hell, it will be critical that we move quickly to dispatch him.”

I hope that you fully appreciate the risky gamble you’re taking with the fate of the cosmos,” Azrael said. “Lucifer’s love may be a powerful motivator… but so is his hate.”

The meeting was suddenly interrupted when a glowing orb of light rose up from the centre of the conference table. It pulsed with an ominous red light.

“Is that–?” Sera began.

“A Hell herald!” Gabriel cried, jumping to his feet.

“Wait,” Michael said. “Does this mean…?”

“Lucifer has ended the embargo,” Uriel murmured.

“What is this?” Sera wondered out loud. “A declaration of war, perhaps? Open it.”

Gabriel made a commanding gesture towards the herald. The orb of light glowed brightly for a moment, then flickered and converted itself into a holographic image.

Sera had to stifle a cry of horror.

The image was selfie. Lucifer was holding the camera, grinning wickedly, his demonic attributes on full, proud display. He was cheek-to-cheek with his arm around a shell-shocked Emily. Her dress was torn and bloodied, her face was filthy and streaked with tears. But what horrified Sera the most were her eyes. Emily’s violet eyes had always been bright and lively. Now they were dull and listless, with red sclera and yellow pupils.

The eyes of an angel who had been thoroughly broken.

The image flickered and disappeared, only to be replaced by a single word:

COME

Chapter 17: Dawn of Battle

Chapter Text

Outside the walls of Fort Charlotte, Lucifer looked out at his assembled army. There were tens of thousands of sinners, hellhounds from the Gluttony Ring, and even some imps from the Wrath Ring who had volunteered. And every last one of them was heavily armed.

Soon the portal would open, he knew. Soon the angels would come through. Soon the air would fill with the ringing of angelic metal on angelic metal and the sweet scent of blood.

But there was only one who mattered.

Only one who had the power to match him.

She would come. He had no doubt of that.

When she was dead, he would mount her head atop the Pearly Gates with an honest-to-God smile on his face.

“Quite a sight to behold,” Alastor said as he materialized beside the king atop the wall of the fortress. “I never would have thought you capable of such ambition when we first met. But I guess all it took was the right motivation.”

“Do not forget your side of our bargain,” Lucifer told him dangerously.

“As long as you don’t forget yours,” Alastor replied cheekily. He looked back out at the army. “It’s almost time. Want to rile them up?” He extended his microphone staff to Lucifer, who grabbed it from him with a dark smirk on his face.

“I swear you read my mind sometimes,” he said as he spread his wings and took to the sky.

He flew towards the front of the formation, hovering high in the air where everyone could see him. Holding the microphone to his mouth, he addressed his army.

“My loyal soldiers of darkness!” he called out to them. “Today we stand on the precipice of a battle that will shake the very foundations of Heaven itself! Our beloved princess was taken ruthlessly from us, her fiery spirit extinguished by the hands of those sanctimonious angels above! But do not despair, for her death shall not be in vain! Today we rise up in her name, with the flames of vengeance burning in our hearts!”

He began flying back and forth in front of them, taking special care to make sure he addressed all of them, from the front lines to the rear guard.

“The angels think that they are invincible! That they are untouchable behind their Pearly Gates! But they have underestimated the power of our fury! We are the children of Hell, forged in the fires of damnation, and we will not be denied our justice! Today we march towards those Pearly Gates with our fangs bared! We will show those Heavenly cowards the true meaning of fear! The true power of darkness! We will rain down fire and brimstone upon the Golden City, until it lies in ashes at our feet!”

Cheers erupted from the soldiers. Alastor had to admit, the king knew how to work a crowd.

“Together, we will make them rue the day they crossed us! Together, we will claim our revenge and show them that even the brightest light can be extinguished by the darkest shadow! Let the screams of the damned be our battle cry! Let the flames of hellfire be our banner! Let Heaven tremble at the sound of our coming, for we are the wrath of Hell, and nothing in creation can stand against us! DEATH TO HEAVEN!!”

“Death to Heaven!” the horde responded, throwing their fists into the air. “Death to Heaven! Death to Heaven!”

“My fellow warriors of light!” Lute called to the angelic army. “Today we stand united in the face of darkness! Today we avenge our fallen Commander! Today we take back our Joy-Bringer from their filthy clutches! Today we plunge Hell into an abyss so deep that their evil influence will never be felt in the Earthly realm ever again!”

The veteran Exorcist soldiers cheered enthusiastically, eager to pay Hell back for the injuries that had been inflicted upon them. Thanks to the High Seraphim, they were all healed and readier than ever to destroy demon filth. The reaction from the new recruits, however, was far more restrained.

“I know that many of you are still green,” Lute said. “We’ve had so little time to train. In fact, the unfortunate reality is that some of you still lack the will to do what needs to be done down there. Not all of you will pass ordination today. So as you approach that portal, I want you all to fill your hearts and minds with a single thought… You are angels. You are better and stronger than a hundred filthy demons! And most importantly of all, if we do not do our duty here today, Lucifer will plunge the cosmos into darkness and despair! Put the need to defend this universe and everything you care about above your own fears and doubts! Resolve in your soul not to let another angelic being fall to darkness! Do this, and you will pass through that portal!”

The soldiers cheered again. This time many of the recruits looked more emboldened.

“We fight for the seraphim! For Heaven! For our honour! For our very souls! DEATH TO HELL!!”

“Death to Hell! Death to Hell! Death to Hell!”

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked as Azrael stepped through a portal into his castle. “What’s happening?!”

“The embargo has been lifted and the war is about to begin,” the Angel of Death said. “The portal will be opened any minute now. We have to get you to the staging grounds.”

“I knew it!”

Azrael gasped when a second portal opened, and Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel entered through. Lilith instinctively moved to place herself between Charlie and the interlopers.

“Harbouring fugitives, Azrael?” Michael demanded. “You’ll be lucky if Sera doesn’t take your halo for this!”

Azrael spread his wings, shielding the four escapees from his brothers. “This is the only way!” he insisted. “The cosmos will be destroyed if this war proceeds!”

“You don’t know that!” Gabriel argued.

“I’ve foreseen it!” Azrael shouted. “The only way to avoid an absolute extinction event is to not fight! But Sera is too blinded by guilt and emotion to accept that! Princess Morningstar is the only one who can convince Lucifer to lay down his arms and grieve!”

“He will try to destroy Heaven if he knows that we have her!” Uriel countered.

“He is already trying to destroy Heaven!”

“Enough of this!” Michael said sharply. “These prisoners are coming with us!”

“No!” Azrael cried, standing his ground. “I won’t let you!”

A sword of angelic steel materialized in the Angel of Protection’s hand. “I won’t tell you again!” he shouted.

“Stand down, Michael!” Azrael shouted back.

Michael leapt forward, swinging his sword. Azrael blocked it with his scythe, pinning the blade to the floor. The Angel of Death looked over his shoulder at the souls from Hell.

“Run!” he called to them.

Charlie, her mother, and her friends darted, but they soon found themselves cornered by Gabriel and Uriel, each now brandishing their own angelic sword.

“Surrender!” Uriel ordered them.

“Never!” Charlie shouted. “I’m saving my people and my father!”

“You’re not going anywhere!” Gabriel told her, reaching out to seize her.

Lilith’s fury exploded in hellfire, and a trident of angelic steel materialized in her hands. She thrust it towards the Angel of Heralds, forcing him to back away.

“Don’t you dare touch my daughter!” she snarled.

Sir Pentious and Dazzle leapt at Uriel, tackling him to the floor and sending his sword flying.

“Run, Charlie!” Sir Pentious cried.

Charlie ran, trying to escape the fray. But Michael managed to throw Azrael off balance, freeing his weapon to turn and block Charlie’s path.

“Enough!” he shouted. “Give up!”

“Princess Morningstar!” Azrael called to her.

Charlie looked at where the Angel of Death had fallen to the floor. His violet eyes were desperate and pleading.

“Don’t let them kill everything,” he whispered.

With a snap of his fingers, Azrael opened a portal beneath Charlie’s feet. The Princess of Hell fell through it and disappeared.

“Remember,” Sera said to the soldiers gathered at the staging area. “Do not engage Lucifer. I’m the only one who can beat him.”

“You heard the High Seraphim,” Lute said. “Focus all your attacks on the demons defending Lucifer, but do not engage him directly!”

“One way or another, it all ends today,” Sera said heavily.

“Are you ready?” Lute asked her.

Sera gave a firm nod.

Lute drew her sword and opened the portal.

“Attack!”

Lucifer leaned casually on his apple-topped cane as he watched the portal open above. It was much lower than it usually appeared. The devil smirked, realizing that the Heavenly Army must have had to fill out its ranks with new recruits… soft angels who weren’t as strong as their veteran counterparts, who couldn’t fly that high.

This battle was going to be almost too one-sided.

“Alastor,” he signaled to the Radio Demon.

“One unstoppable army, coming up,” he said cheerfully. His eyes blackened, his antlers extended, and he waved his staff over the ground. Green runes began appearing everywhere as hundreds of shadowy spirits emerged from the ground – the hollow remains of overlords defeated long ago.

“I was expecting more,” Lucifer said, unimpressed.

“Don’t worry, your Majesty!” Alastor said, his grin darkening. “My shadows are unkillable. They’re all the army you will need.”

“Go, then,” he commanded. “Do your part. But remember… Sera is mine.”

Lucifer hadn’t bothered to chain Emily up again after he broke her. He had told her that, whether she knew it yet or not, she was his now and she would never be able to go home. He told her that, sooner or later, she would accept what she had become… what he had turned her into…

He told her that he would make Sera watch when she broke her halo…

It took a while for Emily to gather her strength and stumble out of the unlocked dungeon. As she ascended the stairs to the upper floors, she could hear thousands of voices on the other side of the fort’s walls. However, the inside of the fort seemed to be abandoned.

It occurred to her that the battle Lucifer had spoken of may be starting soon.

Emily knew that she needed to try to get the attention of one of the Exorcists. One of them could rescue her. But she knew she would have to get to higher ground in order to have any chance of being spotted. She found the entrance to one of the fort’s towers and began climbing the stairs. Her legs burned with the effort, her body so exhausted from the ordeal of the last several days. But she pushed forward, resorting to crawling when she got closer to the top.

It seemed like an eternity before she could see the red sky.

Crawling up onto the top of the tower, Emily could see the portal from Heaven open. Moments later, Exorcists began swarming through.

“Oh, Father,” she whispered. “Save us.”

“Don’t move!”

Emily gasped and found herself staring at the business end of a crossbow. She could see a bolt of angelic steel was primed and ready to end her life.

“Are you an Exorcist?”

Emily looked up to see a tall woman with grey skin and red eyes. Her long white hair was formed into two large horn shapes with black ribbons. Her monochrome outfit reminded Emily of the dancers they had in Heaven, graceful and beautiful. She was even wearing ballet slippers, standing on her tiptoes in a manner that made her appear even taller than she was.

“I asked you a question!” Carmilla snapped at her. “Answer, or I will kill you!”

“I-I’m not an Exorcist!”

“Yet you reek of holiness,” Carmilla said, turning up her nose. The arms dealer sized up the pathetic thing in front of her, noting the bloodied stubs of her wings and the battered and filthy state of her body. “You’re one of the hostages, aren’t you?”

Emily nodded wordlessly.

“Then I have good news for you: I’m about to kill your captor.”

“What?!” Emily exclaimed.

Carmilla knelt down in front of a parapet, resting her elbows on it to steady her hands as she aimed the crossbow. Emily followed the arms dealer’s gaze and saw her target – Lucifer was standing atop the wall at the front of the fortress, his back to them as he watched his army clash with the Exorcists.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment all week,” Carmilla said. “Now he’s finally out in the open.”

Emily was shocked when she felt a combination of anticipation and relief flood her body. If Lucifer was slain, it would all finally be over. Hell would be beaten without their leader, the demons would surrender, and Emily could finally go home. Everything would be fine once that monster stopped breathing…

But that was wrong. She shouldn’t feel that way. She was an angel! She should never desire the death of another being, not even the devil himself!

But he had caused her so much pain. He had killed so many angels. He had dragged Adam through the worst pits of Hell imaginable until killing him was a mercy that Emily was forced to grant. He had started this war, where even more angels and demons would die.

Everything would be better if she just let Carmilla pull that trigger.

But if she stood there and let Carmilla kill him… then she truly would be a damned soul. It would mean that she really was no better than him. It would mean that he really had changed her.

It would mean that he had won.

“Don’t do this,” Emily whispered.

Carmilla looked over her shoulder at the pathetic angel. “Excuse me?”

“Please don’t do this,” she said. “There has to be another way. One that doesn’t involve more killing.”

“Stupid, naïve girl!” Carmilla chided her. “He has brought the wrath of Heaven down on us! This is the only way to appease the angels!” She turned her sights back on Lucifer. “Of course, with the royal family all dead and gone, Hell will need a new leader. Perhaps they’ll follow me. As the new Queen of Hell, I can ensure that our realm stays safe. I can keep the threat of war at bay. I can keep us all alive!”

“Please, let’s just think about this for a moment!”

“I don’t need to think about it anymore,” Carmilla said firmly. “I’m doing this for my daughters.”

The arms dealer pulled the trigger and the silver bolt soared through the heated air.

Lucifer suddenly spun around and raised a hand, opening a portal in front of him.

The bolt disappeared into the portal.

Carmilla’s eyes widened. “What the–?! Aaaggh!” She screamed as another portal opened behind her and the bolt flew through it, hitting her in the back of her shoulder. Red blood spurted out of the wound, staining her dress and the floor of the tower.

“Did you really think you could kill me?!” Lucifer demanded as he stepped out of the portal, shutting it with a snap of his fingers. “Me?! Who the f*ck do you think you’re dealing with?!” He ripped the bolt out of her shoulder, making her scream out in more pain, and then spun her around to grab her by the neck, squeezing.

“I should shove this down your pretty little throat,” Lucifer said, holding up the bolt. “But I think I have a better use for it.”

He spread his wings and began to lift off the ground, taking Carmilla with him. She struggled and gasped for breath in his clutch while he held the bolt close to her face.

“I think I’ll hunt down those darling daughters of yours and mount their lovely little heads on this thing,” Lucifer said evilly. “Then you can know the misery of losing the one thing that matters most.”

“Bastardo!” Carmilla rasped, kicking upwards with one long leg. The sharpened point of her angelic steel dancing shoe caught Lucifer under his arm. The cut went deep, severing many essential muscles and ligaments. Lucifer howled in pain and his arm dropped as golden blood sprayed out, causing Carmilla to plummet.

“Or I could just do that!” Lucifer called to her as he watched the arms dealer fall.

Emily watched in horror as Carmilla fell past the tower, plummeting towards the ground.

“No!” she cried. “No! No more of this!”

Without a moment’s thought or hesitation, she dove after Carmilla. Catching up to her in seconds, Emily grabbed hold of the overlord’s waist, righted herself and…

…spread her wings.

Carmilla was dizzy. One second, she was having the life squeezed out of her. The next second, she was falling. Now she was gliding gently towards the ground, in the arms of the most vibrant being of light that she had ever seen. Emily had assumed her full angelic form – her skin had become as white as snow, a third eye had opened on her forehead, and a large fourth eye had opened on her chest. Those eyes were the brightest shade of violet that the arms dealer had ever seen. Six huge, white wings extended from the angel’s back, fluttering gently as she carried them to the ground.

“That’s…” Carmilla said shakily as Emily set her on the ground. “How did you do that…?”

“We have a saying in Heaven,” Emily told her. “In your needy hour, there’s no substitute for pure angelic power.”

High above them, Lucifer watched the daring rescue from the air. He knew he ought to feel rage at seeing Emily still clinging to her angelic ways after all the work he’d put into breaking her. But because of his sinful curse, he couldn’t help but feel a touch of pride at how resilient his successor was – as if it was a testament to his own power as a morning star.

“Well now,” he mused as he looked down on them. “That one’s stronger than she looks.”

A stinging sensation shot through his arm. Lucifer instinctively clutched it with his other hand, then withdrew it to look at the golden blood that stained his palm. His eyes blazed in fury and his lip curled into a snarl at the sight of it.

The reminder…

That part of himself he couldn’t separate or leave in the past…

“Disgusting!” he scoffed as he reluctantly used his angelic powers to heal himself. When the garish holy aura faded, he flexed his arm and rotated his shoulder, confirming that the limb was fully repaired.

“Lucifer!”

The King of Hell looked up towards the Heavenly portal. The sky was lit up with a glorious white light as a large figure descended, six magnificent wings spread wide. She was holding a sword that was blazing with white fire. Her violet eyes were fixed upon him, her gaze hard and unforgiving… just like all those millennia ago…

The High Seraphim of Heaven.

Lucifer was beyond elated.

“Finally,” he purred, grinning wickedly as his hands trembled in anticipation.

The two seraphim flew towards each other while the battle between Heaven and Hell raged below them.

“Sera,” Lucifer said, his voice dripping with hatred. “I knew you’d come.”

“I’ll only say this once,” Sera said coldly. “Call off your army. Return Emily to me. You still have a chance to end this peacefully.”

“Now why would I end things so quickly after all the effort I put into getting you here?”

“Don’t make me kill you, fallen brother of mine.”

“I’m not the one who will die here today, sister dearest.”

Sera closed her eyes and exhaled. “You forced me to do this. Before this day ends, Heaven will destroy this foul abyss once and for all.”

Lucifer clutched his apple-topped cane in his hands, transforming it into a long staff with a golden serpent winding its length. The apple top enlarged, growing six black wings and one hellish red eye.

“You may have all the power of Heaven behind you,” Lucifer said, pointing his staff at her. “But I have all the might of Hell at my command. Let’s find out which is stronger, shall we?”

The two otherworldly leaders rushed at each other, clashing together in a cosmic dance of light and darkness.

Chapter 18: Apocalypse

Chapter Text

The Hazbin Hotel had once stood as a beacon of hope for the denizens of Hell. It had once stood as a haven, a sanctuary, a refuge to the wretched and damned, the promise of shelter to those who truly wished to change their ways and redeem their souls. It had been a dream nearly realized, cut short by the untimely death of its proprietor.

Now a symbol of despair stood in its place, a cold stone fortress rising from the ground like a tombstone to the dream this place once represented. At its feet, righteous angels and unholy demons clashed in an apocalyptic struggle for the fate of the cosmos. The air was filled with the singing of sword on sword, spear on shield, and the agonized screams of the fallen. Red and gold blood seeped into the ground, saturating the soil like profane fertilizer.

Above the roaring battle, the Grand duch*ess of Heaven and the King of the Damned collided in a symphony of raw energy and primal strength. The air itself crackled with intensity as their opposing wills met, creating a whirlwind of chaos and destruction. Every clash sent shockwaves through the fabric of reality, shaking the very foundations of existence. It was a battle of titans whose outcome would decide the fate of the cosmos itself.

“You may be the leader of the angels,” Lucifer taunted Sera as he dodged a strike of her sword. “But I am the Prince of Darkness! It’s time for you to bow before your true master!”

“You may be stronger than that young sprite I once knew,” Sera admitted. “But you’re deluded if you think you will win here. You should have taken the chance I gave you to surrender!”

“Pretentious as ever!” he spat at her. “Your precious angels will fall before my army of darkness! Emily will fall! And I will make you watch as I destroy everything you love!”

Pointing his staff towards the sky, he brought fire and brimstone down on the leader of the angels. Sera encircled herself with a shield of holy protection, blocking his attack. As Lucifer’s raining fire abated, Sera lowered her shield and blasted a beam of holy light at the devil. Lucifer transformed into a goat and dodged the attack, charging at Sera before transforming back and blasting a column of Hellfire at her. Sera dissolved into a silvery mist at the last moment, barely avoiding his attack and rematerializing behind him. She raised her sword to strike him down, but he twisted around and blocked the blade with his staff. The force of holy metal striking holy metal tore through the air like a thunderclap.

“Are you happy now, Lucifer?!” Sera demanded, pushing against his staff with her sword. “Is it everything you imagined it would be?!”

Lucifer snarled and pushed her blade away, transforming into a fox and dashing behind her. As he transformed back in an attempt to strike her from behind, he was caught off-guard when he found she had already turned and was driving her sword towards his head. He barely managed to dodge it, receiving a nasty gash across his cheek for his trouble. He disappeared into a portal and reappeared above her head in an attempt to strike her from above, but she raised her sword and blocked him.

“It wasn’t enough that you destroyed Eden!” she cried, pushing him back and striking at him again, sending white and red feathers flying as he barely avoided her blade.

“It wasn’t enough that you brought Sin into the world!” She dodged a ball of hellfire and sent another blast of holy light at him. He teleported out of harm’s way.

“It wasn’t enough that you abandoned your duties for that unholy woman!” She struck at him again, only to be blocked by his staff once more. Locking into him, she brought her face within inches of his, violet eyes glaring deep into his blackened soul.

“Now – after everything you’ve done – now you try to destroy Heaven too? Well, take a good look around!” She gestured to the battle raging below them. “Is this the future you imagined when you gave Eve the fruit?! Was this your great dream?! Is this what you wanted?!”

Lucifer gritted his teeth and pushed her away.

“This isn’t what I wanted!” he shouted.

Sera was shocked into silence by his admission.

“I… I didn’t want… any of this!” he cried, his voice breaking with emotion. “But Heaven crushed my dreams! Heaven robbed me of my purpose! Heaven slaughtered my people! Heaven took my wife away! And then… then Heaven took the last thing that still mattered! Heaven took EVERYTHING from me!!”

His eyes began to glow red and the hellfire between his horns burned brighter.

“So now I’ll take everything from you… I’ll remake this universe the way I always dreamed it could be… the way it should be!”

“At the cost of billions of souls?!” Sera demanded.

“I’ll kill trillions of souls to take my revenge on you!”

“You are a broken, unhinged monster!”

“If you love this fractured universe so much…” Lucifer growled. “If these wretched human souls mean so much to you… If you really see anything worth saving in this broken world…”

He brandished his staff, the air around him crackling with demonic power.

“…Then stop me, Sera.”

The pent-up energy exploded outwards from him, knocking the High Seraphim back slightly. The devil pointed his staff towards her.

“For God’s sake, Sera, stop me!”

In that moment, Sera realized that she wasn’t being issued a challenge, but rather a plea.

Deep within that demonic shell, the angel still existed. That part of him wanted all of this to end, but he lacked the strength to stop himself.

He was beseeching her to do it for him.

“I will, Luci,” she said. “I promise, I will.”

He snarled and charged at her again.

“sh*t,” Vaggie cursed, looking out at the raging battle from the Hazbin crew’s hideout in the bombed-out apartment building. “sh*t, sh*t, sh*t! It’s getting bad!”

“Really bad,” Husk said, staring wide-eyed at the sky. “Look!”

The group looked up and saw that the red sky had darkened, white lightning crackling through it as Sera and Lucifer clashed against each other in battle. With every blow, the ground itself shook like it was going to break apart.

“They’re gonna rip reality itself apart!” Husk shouted.

“The f*ck?!” Angel exclaimed. “Are you sure?”

“Take a good look around!” Husk told him. “Good and evil are two sides of the same coin! One can’t exist without the other! No matter who wins, everyone loses!”

“I’m scared, Angel!” Niffty cried, clinging to the former actor’s leg.

“f*ck it!” Cherri shouted angrily. “After everything we tried to do, it’s all gonna end like this?!”

“No,” Vaggie said. “No, it can’t end like this… Charlie’s dream can’t end like this… We have to do something!”

“The f*ck we’re supposed to do?!” Angel demanded. “It’s f*ckin’ Judgement Day out there!”

Vaggie looked out at the battlefield. “We have to convince them to stop fighting.”

“Are you f*ckin’ high?!” Husk demanded. “There’s thousands of angels and demons out there! How you gonna convince them all to stop fighting?!”

“I don’t know,” Vaggie admitted. “But… it’s what Charlie would want me to do… It’s what she would want us to do…”

“Ah, f*ck,” Angel muttered. He knew that she was right.

“It ain’t really my style,” Cherri said. “But I guess I can’t tear sh*t up if there’s no universe left to do it in.”

Husk sighed. “We’re gonna f*ckin’ die, aren’t we?”

“Does this make us Charlie’s Angels?” Niffty asked.

Vaggie looked at the diminutive woman and smiled. “Yeah, Niff… we’re Charlie’s Angels… Now let’s go stop the apocalypse.”

One moment, Charlie was staring down an angelic blade in Azrael’s castle. The next, she was falling onto some unfamiliar street in Heaven’s Golden City. Still being new to Heaven, Charlie didn’t recognize where she was. It seemed that Azrael didn’t have time to drop her anywhere near the portal to Hell, instead throwing her out into some random location. As much as she appreciated the save, she wished he could have been more precise in where he sent her.

She looked around to see if she could find a friendly face to ask for directions. That’s when she noticed that all of the angelic souls around her were shouting and running, expressions of fear plastered on every face. In a moment, Charlie understood why. Heaven’s clear blue skies had darkened, broken every so often by crackling red lightning. The ground beneath her feet was quaking, so much so that she worried it would break apart.

“What’s happening?!” Charlie cried to the angels running past her. “What’s going on?!”

“It’s the apocalypse!” someone cried out as they continued to flee.

“Oh no,” Charlie whispered, horrified. “Azrael was right!”

She needed to find that portal. She had to stop her father before he destroyed everything.

After a few moments of reeling, a thought occurred to Charlie – her wings!

She spread the large pair out. They looked strong and capable, but she had never flown before… not by herself. Her father made it look easy. But she was nervous about trying it on her own. What if she fell? What if she couldn’t control her wings properly? What if she couldn’t figure out how to navigate or flew into an obstacle?

“Come on, Charlie,” she said, giving herself a peptalk. “You’re the daughter of a seraph! You’re the Princess of Hell! Flying’s gotta be, like… second nature, or something! And if you don’t figure it out quick, the entire cosmos is going to get ripped apart by some good-evil paradox, so stop being a chicken-sh*t and just… do it!”

With a grunt of effort, she gave her wings one hard flap. Her feet were instantly lifted several feet off the ground.

“Whoa!” she shrieked.

Wings still spread, she glided gently to the ground.

“That… was… AMAZING!!” she exclaimed excitedly.

She flapped her wings again, lifting off from the ground. She was a bit unsteady at first, but she soon found her balance and began to ascend rapidly. She watched in awe and wonder as the ground began to shrink beneath her as she gained altitude. There was a sense of freedom and weightlessness that she had never felt before. The wind gently caressed her feathers as she soared higher and higher. Her entire being was soon filled with an emotion that she could only describe as pure bliss.

Is this why her father always seemed happiest when he was gliding through the air?

Refocussing her attention to the task at hand, Charlie’s eyes scanned the horizon for the portal. It didn’t take her long to spot it. It was in the direction that everyone seemed to be fleeing from, where the skies were darkest and the rumbling seemed strongest.

“Okay, wings,” she murmured. “Do your thing.”

“These demons won’t stop coming, sir!” one of the Exorcists called out.

“Keep fighting!” the veteran officer ordered. “We’ll exterminate these vermin and take back our Joy-Bringer! We’ll purge the cosmos of this evil once and for all!”

“Stop! You have to stop this!”

The small group of Exorcists paused, looking up to see a familiar angel fly down towards them.

“Vaggie!” the officer practically spat. “Still alive? You should never have shown your face!”

“You have to stop fighting or the entire universe will be ripped apart!” Vaggie shouted.

“The f*ck are you talking about?”

“Look!” Vaggie cried, pointing at the sky. “Look what’s happening! It’s only going to get worse as long as Heaven and Hell keep slaughtering each other! The only way to avoid apocalypse is to lay down your weapons and stop fighting!”

“Hah! Yeah right!” the officer scoffed. “This some new Hell tactic? Can’t beat us, so you have to try to talk us into surrendering with some silly apocalypse story? That’s stupid, even for you!”

The ground beneath their feet suddenly lurched, causing the Exorcists to stumble. Small cracks began to form across the terrain.

“You just gonna ignore that?” Vaggie challenged them.

“I… we… we’re not falling for your tricks!”

One of the other Exorcists glanced at the officer. “Lyre, what if she’s telling the truth?”

“It… it doesn’t matter! We have our orders!”

“Orders?!” Vaggie exclaimed. “You’re gonna blindly follow orders that you know are wrong?! For once in your afterlives, think for yourselves and do what you know is right! That’s how you serve with honour!”

“She’s right, my friends!”

The group of Exorcists looked up and gasped as they saw their Joy-Bringer, Emily, descend from the sky. She paused to hover beside Vaggie.

“Lucifer intends to wipe out the cosmos, and he’s using you to do it! If you care about this universe – our home! – then you must lay down your arms! Stop fighting! As the Light-Bearer, I command you to stop fighting!”

The group hesitated, and for a moment it seemed as though they might not listen. But then the officer dropped her sword. One by one, her subordinates followed suit.

“Spread the word to as many other angels as you can!” Emily commanded them. “We have to stop this war!”

The Exorcists saluted the seraph and flew away. Emily turned to face Vaggie.

“Wow,” Vaggie commented. “That was… impressive…”

Emily’s eyes lit up. “It was, kind of, wasn’t it? I never bossed anyone around before!”

“I don’t know what you’re doing here,” Vaggie said. “But I’m glad you showed up. I was wrong about you.”

“Come on,” Emily said confidently. “We’ve got an apocalypse to stop!”

On another part of the battlefield, a group of sinners were firing their angelic-enhanced assault rifles into the air.

“Hah! This is the best day of my life!” one of them exclaimed.

“Be nice if you actually hit something!” another demon criticized him. “You’ve got Stormtrooper aim!”

“What, like a Nazi Stormtrooper? I thought those guys aimed okay.”

“Oh, sh*t man, when did you die?”

“Back in ‘53.”

“Oh, okay, well in the 70s there was this thing called Star Wars, and–”

“Oi! f*ckheads! Stop shooting!”

“Eh?”

The sinners paused their assault and turned to see Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb running over to them.

“Everyone, put down your weapons!” Angel shouted. “You have to stop fighting!”

“Hah! Why would we do that?”

“Because Heaven’s a real place, ya f*cknuts!” Cherri shouted at them. “I didn’t believe it when I was alive, but it is! An’ f*ck me, maybe I woulda lived my life different if I’d known what was waiting on the other side! But sh*t, even if I can’t live there, I know there’s gotta be people I used to care about up there! You gonna be petty pricks an’ destroy a paradise with millions of decent souls, just cuz you didn’t make the cut?!”

“My twin sister’s up there!” Angel cried. “I know she is! She was the sweetest, most caring person who ever lived, and she was always there for me no matter how many times I f*cked up! What’s gonna happen to her if Heaven is destroyed? What about all the people you care about who made it up there? You gonna destroy their home?!”

One of the demons slowly lowered his weapon. “Guys, I… I think my mom’s in Heaven… I don’t wanna destroy it if that’s where she lives now…”

“But King Lucifer said–”

“That motherf*cker doesn’t give a sh*t about you!” Angel shouted. “All he cares about is revenge! And he’s willing to sacrifice you, me, and the whole cosmos to get it! Look at the sky! The realms are falling apart! If this war continues, everyone and everything will be erased!”

“He… he told us we didn’t have a choice…”

“You always have a choice!” Cherri said forcefully. “So what’re ya gonna choose? Ya gonna choose to be some psycho’s puppet? Or are ya gonna choose to stand up and give two big middle fingers to the arsehole who tried to tell you who you are?!”

None of the demons said anything for several moments. Finally, one of them dropped his weapon, stood up, and extended two middle fingers to the sky.

The others followed suit.

“Oooh, a bad boy!” Niffty exclaimed, climbing onto a large demon’s back. “I wanna taste him!”

“Hey, what the–? Get offa me, you weirdo!”

“Ooooooh, so nasty! I bet you could toss me around like a rag doll!”

“The f*ck is wrong with you?! Piss off, I’m tryna kill some angels, here!”

“I’ll let you tie me up.”

“I, wha–? Really?”

“Then you can put your plum in my pudding hole.”

The demon grinned and dropped his weapon. “Well sh*t, you shoulda said so sooner!”

“Hey, uh, can I get in on that?” another nearby demon asked.

“Uh, yeah, I’d really like in on that too,” another said.

“How does she feel about tacos?” yet another asked.

“Come on, new friends!” Niffty exclaimed. “Let’s ditch this lame party and go have some fun!”

“Now this is what I call a ‘memorable experience’!” Alastor said merrily as he watched the battle unfold from his place atop one of the fort’s parapets. “Heaven and Hell colliding in a final, epic battle between good and evil! The sky turning into darkness, the moon into blood, and the melodious sound of singing swords and anguished screams ushering in that great and terrible final day! And to think, Alastor… you and your shadow puppets made it all possible!”

With a mere thought he commanded one of his shadows after an Exorcist. The ethereal beast leapt at the Heavenly being and tore it apart.

“Best of all, I’m defending the grounds of the old Hazbin Hotel, so even the constraints of my deal can’t stop me from going all-out!”

“Alastor!”

The Radio Demon looked up and saw Husk flying down towards him. The former overlord landed on the fort’s wall a short distance behind him.

“Husker!” Alastor said congenially. “So glad you could make it! What do you think? Does this battle remind you of old times? Better times?”

“It’s time to stop this, Alastor,” Husk told him.

“Stop?” Alastor repeated with a laugh. “Why would I stop? I’ve barely started!”

“Can’t you see what’s happening?!” the old bartender demanded. “This war is ripping the whole universe apart at the seams!”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Husker,” Alastor chided him. “That’s just some classic pathetic fallacy. Trust me, the universe will be just fine.”

“It’s good versus evil, Alastor!” Husk insisted. “One can’t exist without the other. Even if you win–!”

“We will win,” the Radio Demon said, an edge of danger to his voice. “And evil will thrive without good. Do you know why that is?”

Husk flattened his ears aggressively. The demon was completely delusional!

“Evil is the default nature of every living thing. From the moment we’re born, we are selfish, self-serving parasites that will pursue every despicable urge with reckless abandon in the name of self-gratification. Morals and goodness are artificial concepts that the angels imposed on humans just to keep them under control. I intend to relieve the universe of that burden.”

“And make every soul in the cosmos just as black and twisted as yours?!” Husk demanded.

“Every soul in the cosmos is as black as mine,” Alastor countered. “I’m just honest about it.”

“I can’t let you help him.”

“You think it’s in your power to stop me? You seem to have forgotten who owns who.”

A green chain suddenly manifested around Husk’s neck and the former overlord was dragged to his knees in front of the Radio Demon.

“I warned you what would happen if you stepped out of line,” Alastor said as he wrapped the length of chain around his staff, pulling it taut. “You should have stayed in your place!”

“Alastor, stop!”

The Radio Demon looked up. From above, Vaggie was flying in carrying Angel, while Emily was following with Cherri in her arms. As they descended to the wall, Angel practically leapt out of Vaggie’s arms and ran to confront Alastor.

“Let him go!” he demanded.

“Riding in like a white knight?” Alastor asked, co*cking an eyebrow. “How very impressive! He’s sure to fall for you now!”

“I won’t ask again!” Angel shouted, aiming his tommy gun at the grinning demon. “Let him go, or I’ll f*cking kill you!”

“Do what he says, Alastor!” Vaggie told him. “You’re not hurting any more souls today!”

“Please, my friends,” Alastor said with glib affection. “I would much prefer to not kill all of you.”

“Angel,” Husk groaned in pain.

“Hang in there, Whiskers!” Angel told him. “It’s all gonna be okay!”

“Angel… Sir Pentious didn’t want to die leaving anything unsaid…”

“I know, baby, I know!”

“I don’t want to leave anything unsaid either…”

“You won’t! You can tell me anything you want once this is all over!”

“The truth is… I really wish I took you out on a real f*cking date before we got mixed up in all this bullsh*t.”

Angel felt tears come to his eyes, seeing the gentle smile that accompanied the bartender’s heartfelt confession. “You will,” he said, fighting back a sob. “We’ll go on a real f*cking date. I’ll wear something real nice, we’ll eat somewhere that’s fancy as f*ck, and when it’s over – if you’re up for it – I will rock your f*cking world in bed!”

“Classy,” Alastor commented, his grin remaining unwavering but his eyes conveying disgust.

“This is your last warning, Alastor,” Vaggie said, brandishing her spear threateningly. “Let Husk go and call off your shadows!”

“How unfortunate,” Alastor said with a sigh. “It seems that you’ve all chosen death.”

It took Charlie longer than she would have liked to reach the portal. The closer she got, the more violent and turbulent the cosmic storm became. Eventually, she could no longer maintain her altitude, and she was forced to make a rough landing a short distance away from the portal. All around her, she could see dozens of angels in Exorcist garb. No doubt they were new recruits who had lacked the killer resolve to pass through the portal. Just as no unholy soul could enter Heaven, no holy soul could enter Hell.

Charlie ran to the portal and looked down into Hell. Below, a battle was raging between the angels and the demons. Pride’s red skies had blackened, just like Heaven’s, signalling the imminent apocalypse.

Charlie caught a flash of movement in her peripheral vision. Not far below the portal, she saw her father fighting ruthlessly against the High Seraphim. She nearly cried when she got a good look at him. She had always known Lucifer to be gentle and caring. But this devil fighting the High Seraphim looked like a bloodthirsty killer… a feral animal…

Instinctively, Charlie tried to reach out through the portal towards him, but her hand was stopped by an invisible barrier. As a soul judged pure – and with no killer intent in her heart – she couldn’t pass through.

She could only call out.

“Dad!” she yelled over the roar of the battle below. “Dad! Stop! It’s me! I’m here!”

She suddenly felt a hand roughly grab her ponytail, jerking her head backwards before an angelic blade was pressed against her throat.

“I knew you’d come, you filthy demon bitch,” Lute hissed into her ear. “I knew that if I hung back with these weaklings, I’d get my chance for revenge.”

“Let go of me!” Charlie cried.

“I don’t think so! Daddy’s gonna watch his little girl die for good this time!”

Sera ran Lucifer through with her sword, only for her to discover that it was a mere clone when it exploded into red mist. The real Lucifer popped out of a portal just behind it and shot fiery cinders into her face, causing the High Seraphim to recoil in pain as she was temporarily blinded. She was sent flying back again when his boot made hard contact with her jaw. Spreading her wings to halt her descent, Sera shielded herself with holy power, warding off any further attacks while she recovered.

Lucifer panted heavily. While he had gotten in a good number of blows, he had taken more than a few himself. But while Sera still seemed to have quite a bit of fight left in her, Lucifer could feel his strength waning. He was battered and bleeding, and his punches were losing power.

Sera could sense it, too.

“You know now that you can’t win,” she said, lowering her shield as she turned to face him. “You know that Hell will be destroyed if you continue.”

Lucifer didn’t answer, glaring at her hatefully.

“Look at you,” she said pityingly. “You’re tired. And you’re in so much pain. Deep down, you want this to be over. Don’t you?”

Again, he didn’t answer. But his weary expression spoke volumes.

He just wanted it to end.

Sera flew closer to him. “I can help you, Little Luci,” she said softly. “I can end it for you. I can put an end to your pain. Will you let me?”

Lucifer stared at her listlessly for several moments. Then he closed his eyes and lowered his head, a silent acquiescence.

Sera raised her sword. “I promise it’ll be quick,” she said. “I won’t let you suffer.”

His breath hitched ever-so-slightly as he felt the heat of Sera’s blade near his throat.

“LUCIFER!!”

His eyes snapped open at the sound of someone screaming his name. Sera also froze in place and looked up to the source of the scream. She gasped when she saw Lute standing just inside the portal above them, holding the Princess Morningstar hostage with her sword against her throat.

“Come, Lucifer!” Lute goaded him. “Come watch me gut your little demon bitch!”

Lucifer’s eyes widened as he processed what he was seeing.

“Charlie?”

Chapter 19: The Hardest Good-Bye

Chapter Text

Lucifer dropped his staff, his entire war completely forgotten as he tore off towards the portal like a bat out of Hell.

“CHARLIE!!” The scream that ripped from his throat sounded more like the roar of a beast than that of a sentient being.

Sera followed not far behind him. “Commander Lute!” she shouted. “What are you doing?!”

“You wouldn’t let me kill the bastard!” Lute shouted at Sera. “This is the next best thing!”

As soon as Lucifer reached the portal, he was repelled by the terms of his banishment. The invisible shield shimmered red as the fallen angel smashed his fists against it in a vain attempt to break through.

“Release her!” he snarled demonically.

“You killed the person I loved most!” Lute shouted, angry tears filling her eyes. “So now I’m going to kill the person you love most!”

“Daddy, I’m sorry,” Charlie said through tears.

Lucifer’s chest was heaving with rage and with terror. His glowing red eyes lingered on Charlie for a brief moment, and then he turned his attention back to Lute.

“I didn’t kill your Commander.”

“Father of Lies!” Lute spat. “I saw you kill him!”

“He was alive… I kept him alive…”

“Shut up! I don’t believe you!”

“He was alive yesterday.”

“I don’t f*cking believe you!!”

“Release my child, and I’ll tell you who killed him.”

“f*cking monster!” Lute screamed, thrusting her blade at him through the portal.

Lucifer grabbed the end of Lute’s blade, severely slicing his hand, and yanked Lute through the portal. The new Exorcist Commander began to plummet, unaware at first of the trap she had just fallen into. She was knocked back to her senses when Lucifer opened a portal below her and flew out of it, using his momentum coupled with hers to deliver a devastating blow across her jaw. Lute heard a crack and felt a sharp pain radiate through her mandible as her jaw fell open uselessly and blood poured from her mouth.

Shaking off the pain, Lute tightened her grip on her sword and looked around for her enemy. She spotted Lucifer circling back towards her. He was raising an arm, summoning hellfire to blast her with.

Leaving himself wide open…

Lute took advantage of his folly and charged at him, aiming her sword directly at his heart.

“Lute, don’t!” Sera shouted.

Lute ignored the High Seraphim. With a shout of triumph, she ran the devil through…

…her blade passed right through him as he disappeared into a cloud of red mist.

“That’s not him!”

A thin black tail whipped down from above her head and coiled around her throat twice, squeezing hard. Lute gasped for air and clawed at the tail with her free hand, but he continued to tighten his grip like a boa constrictor. Lute struggled, kicking and clawing uselessly for several moments, until her movements became weak and sluggish. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she felt herself being lifted up. Then she felt his hot breath by her ear.

“Do you want to know who killed your Commander?” he asked.

Lute’s eyes widened as her body began to convulse.

“It was your dear sweet Joy-Bringer. She’s mine now. She’s a perfect little fallen angel. And she is going to help me destroy Heaven, all of the winners, and everything you lo–”

Lucifer’s taunt was cut short by a sharp, burning pain. It took him several moments to make sense of what just happened. Looking down, he saw Lute’s limp hands slide off the hilt of the blade that she had run herself through with. The blade had passed through her and entered his right side, coming out his back and piercing his lower right wing.

Snarling, he kicked Lute away, causing her weapon to slide out of him. Both the Exorcist Commander and her weapon fell to the ground below while Lucifer clutched his side to staunch the flow of blood. Pain darkened the edges of his vision as he tried to summon his angelic powers to heal himself… but his healing powers would not come forth. Whether this was because he was too weakened by his injuries or because he was too much of a demon now was unclear to him. What was clear, however, was that he wouldn’t last long in this condition. He only had but one option left now…

But he had to see her first.

Lucifer began flying up towards the portal again, struggling to gain altitude and maintain his course on only five wings. He stopped when Sera moved between him and the portal, her sword still in hand.

“Get out of my way…” he growled at her.

“You sure you want to do that, Luci?” she asked. “You really want her to see you this way?”

“You can kill me when I’m finished,” he said. “But first, let me see my child…”

Sera hesitated a moment. “I won’t end your banishment. You can see her… but you can’t go to her…”

“So unmerciful,” he practically spat. “You would deny a grieving father one last hug from his daughter, out of nothing more than pure spite?”

“Believe what you want to, Luci,” Sera said. “I have a duty to protect the souls in Heaven. And you’re too dangerous to be allowed in.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Sis,” he sneered.

Sera frowned at him as she moved aside, allowing him past. Looking up, he could see Charlie standing at the portal, hands pressed against the invisible barrier as she stared down at him with big, sad eyes. He struggled upwards until he reached her level. Keeping one hand on his wound, he placed his free, blood-stained hand against the barrier near hers.

“Dad,” she whispered, her voice full of pain and heartache.

“Charlie,” he said as softly as he could with the demonic rasp corrupting his voice. “My little princess… You’re… an angel…?”

“Dad, what have you done?”

“I thought you were gone forever… They had to pay…”

“This has to end, Dad.”

“Yes… I know you’re right…”

“It’s time to say good-bye.”

“I’m not ready.”

“I know. You never will be. But you have to. We have to.”

“I can’t lose you.”

“You already lost me,” Charlie said through tears. “Now you have to grieve for me.”

“I can’t.”

“Only because you’ve stayed in that form,” Charlie said, gesturing to him. “You have to change back.”

“I can’t.”

“Please, Dad.”

“I can’t do it.”

“I want to see my real father one last time.”

He slammed his fist against the barrier, making her jump.

“I can’t! I’m… There’s too little left of me…”

“That’s not true! I know you’re still in there, Dad! Please… turn back before it’s too late.”

“Listen to your daughter, Luci,” Sera said, ascending to hover at his level a short distance behind him. “Only you can end this madness.”

Charlie watched her father stiffen, rage re-entering his features.

“You knew she was here,” Lucifer growled at the High Seraphim. “You knew all along… But you said nothing.”

“Would you have ended your attack if I had told you?” she asked him.

The devil chuckled darkly as he turned to face the leader of Heaven.

“I guess we’ll never know now, will we?”

“Dad,” Charlie said softly. “Dad, please don’t.”

“It’ll be alright, Apple Pie,” he told her. “Daddy’s going to make everything right. Then we’ll be together again.”

“You can’t win, Luci,” Sera said coldly. “You’re injured and exhausted. Fighting will only delay the inevitable.”

“Ten thousand years, Sera… Ten thousand long years… And you haven’t changed at all. You command legions… wield the might of Heaven… and yet you are blind to the suffering you have caused.”

“Enough of this, Luci.”

“Ten thousand years of this madness… Surrounded by sinners… I once soared among the heavens… a proud angel of light… But now, I am fallen… cast out from grace… burdened by the weight of my shattered soul…”

As he spoke, his free hand slid surreptitiously into his coat pocket.

“Now the fate of the cosmos hangs in the balance… and in this moment, I stand as its champion!”

He slowly removed his hand from his coat, his fist closed around something small.

“In this final battle, I will be your reckoning… your downfall! I will shatter your illusions of invincibility, and show the universe the true cost of your tyranny! I will not rest until I have avenged my daughter! Then I will tear down the Pearly Gates themselves and take her back from you!”

The hand that was covering his wound blazed with hellfire, burning away part of his clothing and crudely searing the injury closed.

“For my princess… and for all the souls who have suffered under your rule… I will fight until my last breath!”

He finally opened his hand, revealing the small black key in his palm.

Sera’s eyes widened in horror. “Where did you get that?!”

With a gesture from Lucifer, the key grew to the size of a sabre and he held it aloft.

“I am a fallen angel! A warrior of darkness! The Morning Star! And I will not be denied my revenge!”

Jagged spears of white lightning snaked down from the darkened sky and struck the key, igniting it and its wielder in black hellfire. Lucifer cocooned himself in his wings as the fire enveloped him, and then Sera was blown back by a burst of black ash and smoke exploding outwards from his body.

An ear-splitting roar shook the very sky itself. Angels and demons who hadn’t already stopped fighting were now frozen in fear, staring up at a blackened sky.

The ash was fanned away by the beating of six crooked wings. Blazing red eyes glowed like fiery embers in the darkness. Its twisted form was illuminated by the ominous sheets of white lightning that hailed its coming.

The Beast had arrived.

Chapter 20: The Beast

Chapter Text

Sera stared at the Beast, paralyzed with dread. She hadn’t known about the key. Why did he have the key?! For the first time since their struggle began, Sera doubted if she was strong enough to defeat him.

Or rather, defeat what he had become.

“Dad,” Charlie whispered as she looked on in horror through the portal. “What have you done?”

Lucifer Morningstar was gone, and the creature that had taken his place was nothing less than a harbinger of doom and destruction. As the black ash dispersed, a six-winged white dragon from the depths of the abyss came into view. Its scales glistened under the harsh radiance of the white lightning, reflecting a full spectrum of colours. Its red-and-white feathered wings were twisted and tattered, defying logic as to how they kept the massive monstrosity in the air. Its eyes glowed a malevolent red, filled with malice and cruelty. Four red horns jutted out from its large head, between which an inferno of eternal black hellfire blazed like a crown.

The Beast opened its gaping maw and let out a bone-chilling roar that echoed throughout the Underworld, threatening to rip the very sky asunder. Sera felt herself freeze in terror as the monster fixed its gaze on her. Black smoke billowed out of its nostrils, and Sera swore she saw it grin right before it charged at her.

Sera dissolved into a silvery mist and reformed behind the Beast, only to immediately be swatted down by its huge tail. She slammed into the rocky ground below, a crater forming around her large form. Within seconds, the Beast was upon her, pinning her down with one massive paw. Staring up between its huge talons, Sera found herself quite literally nose-to-nose with the enormous monstrosity. The Beast curled its lip back, exposing rows of razor-sharp teeth. Then it opened its maw, nearly bowling Sera over with its rancid breath. She saw sparks igniting at the back of its throat and realized in horror that it was about to incinerate her with hellfire. With her arms pinned the way they were, she couldn’t raise an angelic shield!

Then something struck the side of the Beast’s head with incredible force, throwing off its aim and causing it to burn a strip of black hellfire into the ground away from Sera’s head. A barrage of holy light struck it in its side, making it roar in pain and causing it to stumble off of the High Seraphim.

“Your Highness! Are you alright?!”

Sera blinked several times to clear her vision and saw a hand reaching out to her.

“Michael?”

“Forgive me, High Seraphim,” the Angel of Protection said as he took her hand and helped her to her feet. “I should have come sooner.”

“We were otherwise engaged.”

Sera looked towards the speaker and saw Gabriel, Uriel, and Azrael stepping out of an open portal. All four archangels had come to join the battle.

“What is that thing?!” Gabriel exclaimed, staring at the Beast. The dragon was still dazed from Michael’s surprise attack and had yet to resume its assault.

“That’s…” Sera’s breath hitched. “That’s Lucifer.”

“Lucifer?!” Michael exclaimed disbelievingly.

“No!” Uriel shouted. He turned to face Azrael, infuriated. “We told you this would happen, Azrael! We told you! But you didn’t listen to us! You just had to help the princess escape!”

“No, I… no…” Azrael murmured, shock written all over his face. “This wasn’t supposed to happen… He was supposed to grieve…”

“How is this possible?!” Gabriel exclaimed. “Lucifer shouldn’t have this kind of power!”

“It’s because he’s holding the Lifeforge!” Sera shouted.

The four archangels stared at the High Seraphim in shock.

“You mean… the Key of Creation?” Michael asked, eyes wide in horror.

“The artifact that created the cosmos?” Gabriel tagged on.

“Impossible!” Uriel exclaimed. “That artifact was lost when–!”

“When the Root of Evil was unleashed!” Sera finished for him. “I had always assumed that the Evil had destroyed it! But Lucifer must have taken it! It must be how he built the Seven Rings of Hell!”

“And now he’s used it to make himself into a god,” Michael said, his grip tightening on his sword. “Your Highness… I don’t know if we can beat that thing…”

“We have to try, or everything will end!” Sera said with determination. “If we can get the Lifeforge away from him, we should be able to defeat him!”

“But where is it?!” Gabriel exclaimed.

“There!” Azrael pointed at the Beast’s left front paw. “Its fist is closed around something!”

“That must be it, then,” Michael said. “It will take all of us to bring that thing down. You really screwed us over this time, Azrael… but damn it, we need your strength. Will you fight with us?”

“I must make amends, before anyone else dies,” Azrael said solemnly. “I’ll fight with you.”

“There can be no half-measures in this battle,” Sera told the archangels. “We’ll all have to use our full strength if we hope to stand a chance of winning!”

“Understood, High Seraphim,” Michael answered.

Holy light enveloped the four archangels as they assumed their full angelic forms. Each archangel transformed into a being of pure light, with the body of a wolf, the torso of a man, four arms, four wings, and four eyes. Michael now had the head of a lion, Gabriel had the head of an eagle, Uriel had the head of a bull, and Azrael had the face of a skull. Azrael now wielded two angelic scythes, while his brothers each wielded two angelic swords. Many eyes opened on each of their four wings, granting them divine sight.

Sera also ascended, a third opening in the middle of her forehead as her six wings increased in size. Her halo changed its shape, becoming like a tiara hovering over her head. Her face adopted owl-like features as dozens of eyes opened on her wings, dress, and shoulders. She took up her sword once again and held it at the ready.

The Beast shook its head, regaining its bearings, and looked over at its enemies. The sight of their pure angelic bodies filled it with rage. Rearing up, it opened its maw and spewed infernal hellfire at the divine interlopers. The celestial warriors shielded themselves with holy protection, remaining unharmed while the ground around them was scorched.

When the flames died down, Sera raised her sword and charged at the Beast. Roaring, it lunged at her with jaws wide open. Just as it was about to snap her up like a puny morsel, she dissolved into mist and reformed below it. She then delivered a blast of holy light to its right side, which was still exhibiting peeling burns from Lucifer’s earlier injury. The Beast howled in pain and fell to all fours. It raised its head just in time to see Michael charging toward it. It moved its head quickly, narrowly avoiding losing an eye, but sacrificing one of its large horns to Michael’s blades.

Just as the Beast turned to pursue Michael, Gabriel flew past its face and dragged his blades along the length of its muzzle. Golden ichor spilled down its face as the Beast screamed in rage. At that moment, Azrael swooped in from behind. The Angel of Death planted his four feet on the nape of the Beast’s neck and thrust his scythes into its large horns, securing himself in place just behind the Beast’s head.

“See all the death you have caused… the lives you snuffed out…” Azrael’s voice had taken on an ethereal quality.

The Beast went rigid as the Angel of Death flooded its mind with visions – his visions – of the deaths and suffering of countless angels and demons that had occurred since the start of this war. Azrael forced it to see and feel every tortured moment, every anguished voice, all the pain that he’d had to experience. The Angel of Death had learned to cope with the grief, but he knew that the Beast was not as strong as him in that regard.

While Azrael distracted the Beast, Uriel charged towards its left hand. If he could lop it off, the Beast would be separated from its source of power.

The Beast managed to wrench itself away from Azrael’s visions of death and suffering long enough to realize that it was about to fall victim to a coordinated attack. It quickly pivoted and swung its massive tail at Uriel, landing a devastating blow that sent the Angel of Wisdom reeling. Rolling onto its back, the Beast smashed its head against the ground, forcing Azrael to relinquish his hold and flee, lest he be crushed under the monster’s skull.

As the Beast rolled back onto its feet, the archangels regrouped with the High Seraphim.

“That thing’s not just fighting on instinct,” Uriel said, clutching his side where he was certain he had broken some ribs. “It has intelligence.”

“It has Lucifer’s intelligence,” Michael stated. “It knows how we fight and how to defend itself against us.”

“Then we’ll have to attack in ways he wouldn’t expect,” Sera said. “Be courageous and bold, my friends! The fate of the cosmos is depending on us!”

Back on the fortress wall, Alastor had been fighting his own battle against Emily and the Hazbin crew. While his former friends had put up a commendable fight, they were no match for his shadow puppets. With Husk still laying prone at his feet, the Radio Demon now had the other four caught up in his shadowy tentacles. He could have easily ended their lives, but when the Beast made its appearance, he couldn’t help but stop and watch its battle against the leaders of Heaven in awe and wonder.

“Magnificent, isn’t he?” Alastor commented admiringly. “A force of pure evil. It would be a crime not to let you see how it all ends.”

“You insane bastard!” Vaggie shouted at him. “How could you help him do this?! He’s going to destroy everything!”

“He’s going to give me everything I want,” Alastor said darkly. “He’s the only one who can give me that which I crave most.”

“Whatever arrangement you think you have with him, it won’t end well for you!” Emily warned him. “Once he doesn’t need you anymore, he’s just going to kill you too!”

“That won’t happen,” Alastor said with cool confidence. “We made a deal.”

“You’d help him destroy the whole universe just because you think he can get you off your leash?” Husk demanded. “You’re a fool!”

Alastor’s eyes went black. “I warned you what would happen if you brought that up again…” He tightened his hold on Husk’s chains, making the former overlord cry out in pain.

“Stop it!” Angel cried out. “Don’t hurt him!”

“Do it then,” Husk wheezed. “I always figured you’d kill me one day… So get on with it…”

“Oh, Husker,” Alastor tutted. “If I killed you, how would you learn your lesson? I’ve got a better consequence in mind… A very special punishment, just for you.”

Husk’s eyes widened. “Wha… What’re you gonna do…?”

Alastor’s grinned darkened as he pointed his staff at Angel Dust.

“I bet he screams very prettily,” the Radio Demon speculated. “He’ll be an excellent addition to my broadcast.”

Husk’s face filled with horror as he strained uselessly against his chain. “No! No! NO!! Don’t do it! Not to him! Please, not to him!!”

“Ya motherf*ckin’ co*cksuckin’ dick-prick!” Cherri shouted at him. “You’re as mad as a f*ckin’ bag of ferrets!”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear!” Alastor told her gaily.

“I’m sorry, Whiskers,” Angel said softly, his eyes filling with tears as he kept his gaze on the bartender. “I’m sorry I never told ya sooner…”

“ANGEL!!” Husk screamed as Alastor launched two shadowy tentacles towards the spider demon.

A wall of blue hellfire suddenly ignited between Alastor and his potential victim. The bright light of the flames caused the Radio Demon’s shadows to dissolve, letting his captives fall harmlessly to the floor.

“What just happened?” Alastor asked with a bewildered grin.

The blue flames wisped away, leaving a tall, demonic entity in their place.

“This is what I hate about Pride,” Asmodeus said. “Too many arrogant sinners thinking they’re hot sh*t. Why don’t you leave the small-fries alone and try a piece of me?”

Angel looked up in awe at his unlikely saviour. “Oh, holy f*ck… is that…? It is!”

Asmodeus looked down at the spider demon with a co*cky smirk. “You okay, cutie?”

Angel leapt to his feet, star-struck. “Oh, my stars! Asmodeus! I am a huge fan! You literally inspired my entire career!”

“Angel Dust, right?” Asmodeus asked. “I loved your work in the Double-O-Dick franchise. What is it, like fifteen movies now?”

“Number sixteen’s coming out this summer!”

“For real? My fiancé and I will add it to our ‘to-bang-to’ list.”

“I’m so honoured!”

“Ugh, why is everything always about sex with you?” Alastor said, disgustedly.

“Oh, you’re one of those,” Asmodeus said knowingly. “Well, that’s fine. I didn’t want to be friends with you anyway.”

“You’re right about one thing, however,” Alastor said. “It is too easy fighting these ordinary sinners. Taking down a Deadly Sin, however… that would be a real feather in my cap.”

“Then try it, bitch!” Asmodeus snarled, growing three times his original size as he assumed his full demonic form. In a blaze of blue and pink flames, he charged at the Radio Demon, knocking him off the wall. Alastor lost his grip on Husk’s chains, setting the bartender free as he fell with the Deadly Sin.

“Whiskers!” Angel cried out, running to Husk’s side.

“Wha… huh…? Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, trying his best to sound nonchalant. “I wasn’t worried for a minute.”

“Shut the f*ck up, you lying liar,” Angel said, grabbing the former overlord’s face and kissing him deeply.

“The f*ck is going on up here?!” Beelzebub demanded as she entered the battlefield through a portal from the Gluttony Ring. “Someone care to explain why all of the Rings are shaking and going dark?!”

“Qu-Queen Bee!” a nearby hellhound exclaimed, poking his head out from his hiding place amongst a pile of bloodied bodies.

The Princess of Gluttony turned to look at the hound. “Ember?! The f*ck are you doing?!”

“I, uh… I…”

Bee flew towards him, coming snout-to-snout with the other hound. “I’ve thrown twelve ragers this week, and hardly anyone showed up! What the actual f*ck, man?! Where have you all been?!”

“Uh… your Highness…? Haven’t you been watching the news?”

“Of course I don’t watch the news!” Bee said indignantly. “It’s nothing but bad vibes! Kind of like what I’m getting right now! What the…? Are there f*cking angels here right now?! Why are there f*cking angels here right now?!”

Ember rubbed his neck. “Well, uh… you see, your Highness… it’s kind of a long story…”

Bee folded her four arms and glared down at him. “Well, make it a short one!”

Alastor and Asmodeus hit the ground at the foot of the fortress. Alastor instantly dissolved into a shadow and reformed a short distance away from the Sin of Lust.

“Tell me something, Prince of Lust,” Alastor said. “Do Sins scream?”

“Only when my Fizzie does that thing with his finger.”

Alastor’s grin turned disgusted. “Could you at least pretend to take this seriously?”

The Radio Demon produced two shadowy tentacles from the ground and sent them hurtling towards Asmodeus. The Sin of Lust conjured another wall of flames, destroying the shadows with the light of his hellfire.

“Well, that’s hardly fair,” Alastor commented. “How about we level the playing field?”

With that, Alastor took on his full demonic form, growing to match the Prince of Lust’s size as large antlers slid out of his skull and his mouth stitched itself shut with glowing green threads of dark magic. His staff was now gripped between two large fingers as numerous black tentacles grew out of his back.

Asmodeus launched a barrage of fireballs at the Radio Demon. Alastor dodged them almost effortlessly, weaving through the flames nimbly despite his size. A portal suddenly opened beneath Asmodeus’s feet, out of which four large tentacles emerged, wrapping around and trapping the Sin of Lust. Grunting, Asmodeus summoned another wall of flames, chasing the shadows away once again.

“Impressive,” the Radio Demon rasped. “I might have to stop holding back.”

Asmodeus smirked at him coolly. “Same here.”

“You’ve gotta be f*cking kidding me!” Beelzebub exclaimed.

“I-I’m afraid not, Queen Bee,” Ember said.

“So this is what that Carmine bitch was talking about when she called last week? I thought that was a bad prank! I love over-indulgence as much as the next demon, but this is downright self-destructive!”

Bee took to the sky, transforming into her giant full demonic form as she ascended. She turned to look back down at the battlefield, where many angels and demons were still cowering.

“Hey!” she shouted in a loud voice. “This party is f*cking over! If you’re a Hellborn, go back to your own Ring! If you’re an angel, go back to Heaven! And if you’re a sinner, get as far away from this place as you can! You’ve all had quite enough!!”

The combatants heeded the Sin’s orders, their will to fight long since evaporated. As demons began running toward the city, the surviving angelic forces took to the sky, racing back towards the portal.

Charlie could only look on helplessly as the battle raged below her. She cried out to her loved ones, begged them to stop fighting, but no one could hear her. Then when Beelzebub ordered the fighters on both sides to retreat, Charlie soon found herself overrun by Exorcists desperate to escape the cataclysmic battle. Charlie was pushed back from the portal as they jostled past her, not caring that they were practically trampling her in their haste to get away.

Suddenly, Charlie felt hands grab her and pull her close. She yelped in fear, thinking for a moment that someone else meant to take her hostage. But when she looked up, she saw Lilith.

“Mom!”

Lilith raised a demonic shield around her and Charlie, as well as Sir Pentious and Dazzle, who were with them. The retreating Exorcists were repelled by the shield, forcing them to give the queen a wide berth.

“What’s happening, Charlie?” Lilith asked. “The archangels sensed something bad happening, so they stopped fighting and left us at the castle. What’s going on? Did you talk to your father?”

Charlie felt tears come to her eyes. “I tried, Mom… But he wouldn’t listen… He was too full of rage, and pain, and… and… he had KeeKee…”

Lilith’s eyes widened. Now that most of the Exorcists had passed them by, Lilith lowered her shield and shoved her way to the portal. She gasped in horror when she saw the Beast below.

“Oh, Lulu,” she whispered. “What have you done now, you giant idiot?”

“Why am I so useless, Mom?” Charlie asked ruefully. “The people I love are down there. They’re fighting for their lives, and… and I’m stuck up here! I can’t do anything to help!”

“I can.”

Charlie looked at the older woman. “Mom?”

Lilith sighed. “This whole mess might have been avoided if I’d been a better ambassador… or a better queen… a better wife… a better mother… I can’t undo what’s been done, but… I can help them stop your father.”

Charlie clutched her arm. “Please,” she whispered. “Please don’t let them kill him.”

“I’ll try, Charlotte…”

Lilith looked down into the depths of the abyss. Without a hint of fear or hesitation, she leapt through the portal and began to freefall. When she was halfway to the ground, a pair of leathery red wings unfurled from her back. Her horns increased in size and her eyes turned blood-red.

She had taken her own demonic form.

Charlie sank to her knees as she watched her mother soar into battle.

Why was she stuck here, like this?

Why was she the one left behind?

Why was she so f*cking useless?

Chapter 21: Unlocked

Chapter Text

The angelic leaders continued their relentless battle against the Beast as the realms quaked with the intensity of their cosmic struggle. The battlefield below them emptied of combatants as the survivors hastily retreated, leaving only the mangled and bloodied bodies of thousands of dead angels and demons in their wake.

The only ones who remained were the five standing upon the wall of the fortress, their hearts heavy with helplessness and fear.

“f*ck,” Angel Dust whispered. “Just… f*ck…”

“Now that ain’t somethin’ you see every day,” Husk murmured, his eyes fixed on the battle unfolding in front of them.

“I hate bein’ the one to suggest this,” Cherri Bomb said. “But maybe it’s time we got the f*ck outta here?”

“We can’t!” Vaggie exclaimed. “We can’t turn and run now! They’re still fighting! As long as they keep fighting, we haven’t stopped the apocalypse! We can’t let it end this way!”

“No offense, toots,” Angel said. “But just what the f*ck are we supposed to do? We ain’t powerful archangels or Deadly Sins! We can’t beat that thing!”

“Not alone,” Emily said. “But if we fight together and have faith, we can be stronger than the darkness.”

Husk let out a humourless snort. “Oh, man… This one sounds just like Charlie…”

Emily felt a faint smile tug at her lip. Perhaps incurable optimism was a genetic trait that she and Charlie shared.

“Can’t say I subscribe to all that ‘light-is-stronger-than-darkness’ drivel. But the seraph is correct.”

The group turned to look at the speaker. Carmilla Carmine was striding towards them along the wall, her long, shimmering white hair flowing free behind her.

“Alone, each of us would stand little chance against a monster like that,” the arms dealer said. “But if we demons combine our strength with the angels’, we may just be strong enough to defeat that thing.”

“Ya serious?” Cherri Bomb asked incredulously. “Ya ‘spect us to team up with them?”

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” Carmilla said.

“You’re f*ckin’ nuts,” Angel said. “How are we supposed to fight that?”

“Foolish boy,” Carmilla chided him. “That thing may look like an infernal monster, but beneath that hideous hide it’s still nothing more than an angel! You have everything you need to fight that thing right there in your hands.”

Vaggie looked at her spear. “Angelic weapons can still harm it?”

“Tell me,” Carmilla said. “Do the lot of you want to just stand here and watch the cosmos die?”

“Of course not!” Angel answered on everyone’s behalf.

“Then let that be what fuels you!” Carmilla told them. “Think about what’s at stake! Think about what will happen if we don’t win this battle! For the sake of everything you care about… everything that is!”

Carmilla raised her crossbow as she looked at the group sternly.

“Don’t let that thing win.”

“You’re strong, I’ll give you that,” Asmodeus said, panting from the effort of his struggle. “In fact, you may be the strongest sinner that ever manifested in this realm…”

Alastor loomed before him in the darkness, glowing green voodoo symbols floating in the air around him. The Radio Demon was leering at him with a grin that was malicious and predatory.

“But you and I? We ain’t the same. I am a Deadly Sin. I’ve been around since this abyss was first formed. I was commanding legions of succubi while you were still swimming around in your daddy’s ballsack! You think you can f*ck with me?! You don’t know WHO you’re f*cking with!!”

As Alastor sent four large tentacles hurling towards Asmodeus, the Sin of Lust sent a large column of blue hellfire back at him. The shadows and the flames met in the middle and clashed with each other for dominance.

“You thrive on lust, but I thrive on fear,” Alastor goaded him. “In the end, everyone succumbs to my shadows. You’re no exception.”

Asmodeus was forced to take a knee as he put all of his strength into his counter-attack. For several tense moments they remained locked in their struggle. With a shout of effort, Asmodeus pushed forward with his flames, finally making the shadows dissolve away. But as the shadows disappeared, so too did the Sin’s hellfire. Fending off the Radio Demon’s latest attack had taken most of his stamina.

“And just like that, the flame burns out,” Alastor commented. “How disappointing. I expected more from a Deadly Sin.”

Asmodeus’s chest heaved. How could this guy still have any fight left in him? Just what sort of monster was he?

“I see no point in prolonging this any further,” the Radio Demon said. “I have an engagement with destiny, you see. So why don’t you just lay down and ꓷIꓱ ꓯLꓤꓱAꓷꓬ?”

Asmodeus braced himself for another attack as Alastor raised more shadows from the ground. But just as Alastor was about to command his shadowy puppets forward, the sinner went rigid. His eyes widened in what Asmodeus recognized to be horror. Trembling, the Radio Demon fell to his knees as a violet chain manifested around his neck.

“I don’t have time to deal with your nonsense right now, Alastor,” Lilith said as she appeared behind him in her demonic form, holding his chain. “I gave you very clear instructions to protect my daughter and her hotel. Not only did you fail spectacularly, but you managed to goad my idiot husband into starting a war that will end all life in the cosmos. Now I have to help clean up this mess and I don’t have time to deal with your nonsense in the interim. Call off your shadows.”

“Your… your Highness…”

“DO IT!!”

He had no choice but to comply. His shadow puppets instantly dissolved like whispers in the dark and the Radio Demon shrank back down to his normal form. Lilith yanked on his chain mercilessly, forcing him to the ground.

“I will deal with you when this is over,” Lilith rasped. “Until then, I don’t want to see your stupid face!”

“A-as you wish… your Highness…” Alastor murmured brokenly, his permanent smile very nearly faltering. The Radio Demon dissolved into shadows and sank into the ground.

“Queen Lilith,” Asmodeus said. “It’s been far too long.”

“So good to see you, Ozzie,” the queen of demons said congenially. “How have things been in Lust?”

“Wonderful! I’m getting married.”

“Is that right? Well, once this is over, you’ll have to tell me all about the person who won the heart of Lust himself.”

“I don’t know how much longer we can hold out, High Seraphim,” Uriel said exhaustedly. “That thing either doesn’t feel pain, or doesn’t care.”

“We can’t give up,” Sera said, her chest heaving. “We have to get the Lifeforge away from him.”

“It knows what we’re after!” Michael said frustratedly. “That bastard is just toying with us!”

“You should leave, Sera,” Azrael said.

“You can’t beat this thing alone,” Sera said. “I’m not abandoning you.”

“This fight is all but lost,” the Angel of Death said. “If you continue to fight, I foresee that you will not survive. If you are killed, there will be nothing stopping that thing from destroying Heaven. If that comes to pass, the cosmos will fall apart. The only way to prevent that outcome is for you to run.”

“I won’t abandon Emily!” Sera cried. “I turned my back on a sibling once, and I’ve regretted it ever since! I’d do anything to change that choice now! I won’t make the same mistake twice!”

The High Seraphim charged at the Beast, emotional tears brimming her eyes. The Beast eagerly opened its maw and spewed black hellfire at the angelic leader. Sera shielded herself with divine protection and simultaneously fired holy light back at the Beast. The light met the black flames in an otherworldly struggle for dominance. Then the Beast whipped its long tail forward and swatted the High Seraphim into the ground. Sera shook off the shock and looked up, seeing the Beast preparing to incinerate her once again. All she could do was raise her divine protection and shield herself as the hellfire rained down on her. The heat was growing intense and she could feel her hands start to blister as her shield began to fail. She couldn’t hold out much longer.

“LUCIFER!!!”

The Beast suddenly stopped its assault and turned its head to see who had called its name. Sera also looked up and gasped.

“Emily!” she cried.

Emily hovered in the air some distance away, glaring defiantly at the Beast. She squared her shoulders and called to it boldly.

“You didn’t break me, Lucifer!” she shouted. “I’m stronger than you! I’m a seraph, like my sister! Like my brother was! And no matter how dark a shadow you cast, the smallest bit of light will chase it away every time! You understand me, Lucifer?! I won!”

The Beast growled and charged at the young Light-Bearer.

“Emily, no!” Sera screamed. “Run away!”

But Emily stood her ground. When the Beast came within striking distance of her, Emily summoned her light. Her entire being shone brighter than any star, like a beacon of hope in this abyss of despair. The Beast roared as it was blinded by the intense power of the young Light-Bearer, recoiling from her in pain. Burning agony radiated through its left arm and when it was finally able to see again, it turned to find Michael had plunged both of his blades into its shoulder. The Angel of Protection darted away as the Beast lunged at him with its maw wide open. Then the monster roared as searing agony blinded its eyes once again.

“You’ve gone too far this time, my darling!”

That voice…

Lilith hovered in front of the Beast’s face as it shook off the pain of the queen’s hellfire attack and glared her with glowing red eyes.

“Our daughter is safe in Heaven,” Lilith said. “Let her rest in peace!”

The Beast roared in fury and spewed black hellfire at the queen. Lilith darted away as Asmodeus swooped in on wings of blue flames. The Sin of Lust was immune to the hellfire, flying through the blazing column to deliver a devastating blow across the Beast’s jaw, interrupting its attack and sending the monster reeling.

“Sorry, buddy,” Asmodeus said. “But bloodlust is the worst kind of lust! I can’t let you destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve!”

Beelzebub charged at the Beast from behind. Though she was in her giant demonic form, the Beast was still almost twice her size. But that didn’t stop her from getting her four arms around its middle and gripping it tight.

“I may love indulgence!” the Princess of Gluttony said. “But even I draw the line at cosmic destruction! Enough is enough!” She sank her teeth into its injured left shoulder, making it roar in pain and fury. Rolling onto its back, the Beast allowed itself to fall from the sky. Bee was unable to let go in time and found herself being crushed between the Beast’s hulking body and the stone barriers of the fortress, which collapsed under their combined weight.

The Beast rolled off of the Sin of Gluttony, taking out more of the fortress as it did so. Bee was injured and unable to maintain her demonic form any longer, slowly shrinking back into her regular form. The Beast snarled at her and raised its talons to strike her down.

“Eat flash powder, ya f*ckin’ twat-waffle!” Cherri laughed maniacally as she tossed a dozen bombs upwards. The angelic-enhanced devices exploded with perfect timing, going off right in the Beast’s face and blinding it once again. Shaking its head in an attempt to clear its vision, the Beast pinpointed Cherri’s blurry form on the crumbling fortress wall. Enraged, it lunged after her as she made a break for the nearest tower.

Sharp pain radiated through its left eye and its vision filled with golden blood, making the Beast let out a scream that made the very ground quake.

“Lucifer!”

The Beast turned its head in the direction of the voice. With its remaining eye, it saw Carmilla Carmine standing atop the tower with a freshly-discharged crossbow in her hands.

“You threatened my daughters!” the arms dealer called out to him. “That was a fatal mistake!”

Roaring, the Beast swept its tail at the tower, taking it out at the base. Anticipating this move, Carmilla leapt from the falling tower and into the arms of Vaggie, who flew around just in time to catch her. The Beast’s red eye followed the former Exorcist as she swooped in close and hurled her spear. The monster moved its head at the last second, barely avoiding being blinded completely as the spear stuck into its flesh just below its remaining eye.

“Damn it!” Vaggie cursed. “Missed!”

“Aim for its left hand!”

Vaggie and Carmilla turned to see the Angel of Death fly alongside them.

“What?!” Vaggie called to him.

“Aim for its left hand!” Azrael repeated. “It’s carrying the Lifeforge! That’s the source of its power!”

“The Lifeforge?” Vaggie repeated. “You mean… KeeKee?”

“Separate it from that key, and we can end this battle!”

“Hey, Ugly!” Angel Dust taunted the Beast as he flew past it in Husk’s arms. “Eat hot angelic lead!”

With two arms secured around Husk’s neck, his other two pointed twin tommy-guns at the Beast and sprayed bullets along its neck and side. The projectiles did little damage to the Beast’s thick hide, however, and only served to enrage it further. Snarling, it tore after the two sinners.

“Oh, sh*t!” Husk cursed, flying upwards as fast as his wings would carry them.

“Oh, come on!” Angel cried incredulously as he looked down and saw the Beast gaining on them. “You seriously goin’ after the only gay couple here?! I knew you were psychotic, but I didn’t know you were a f*ckin’ hom*ophobe!”

“Husk! Angel!” Vaggie cried. She turned to Azrael. “Take this!” she shouted as she shoved Carmilla into Azrael’s second pair of arms.

“Hey!” the arms dealer shouted indignantly.

“What are you doing?!” Azrael demanded incredulously.

Vaggie grabbed one of the Angel of Death’s scythes from his hands and began flying upwards.

“I’m ending this!” she shouted back to him.

Vaggie flew as fast as her wings would take her. They burned with the effort of ascending so quickly, but the former Exorcist pushed past the pain. A single thought repeated in her mind as she soared higher upwards.

“If I don’t stop him, everything will end…”

“sh*t, Whiskers, this might be it!” Angel cried as he watched the Beast bear down upon them, its huge jaws opening wide. Angel buried his face into Husk’s shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. “I wish we had more time!”

“We’ll have more time!” Husk panted, flying with all his might. “It won’t end like this! I swear we’ll have more time!”

As the Beast prepared to close its jaws around the two sinners, Vaggie shot upwards alongside it.

“Fall, you monster!!” she screamed.

With a cry of fury, she swung the scythe, cutting deep into the Beast’s left wrist. As several essential tendons were cut, the Beast’s hand fell open, the Lifeforge falling from its grasp.

No longer under the control of her master, KeeKee transformed back into her feline form and darted away, quickly putting as much distance between herself and the monster that had held her captive as she could.

The Beast let out an anguished howl and began to fall. Vaggie dove after it, following its rapid descent as its body began to dissolve into ashes. Her eye frantically searched the crumbling body until she found what she was looking for… a blackened mass, right near where the monster’s heart would have been.

Dropping the scythe, Vaggie lunged at the mass with both hands, grabbing hold of it and tearing it away. Lucifer screamed as Vaggie dragged him out of what remained of the Beast, the monster’s form completely disintegrating as he was pulled free.

“NOOOOO!!!”

Vaggie dragged him downwards, using her wings to speed up their descent. When they were near the ground, Vaggie let go of him and halted her own descent. Lucifer plummeted into the ground with ungodly force, creating a huge crater in his wake.

The forces of Heaven and Hell gathered around the crater as the dust settled. Down at the bottom, Lucifer’s body lay twisted, covered in dirt and ash.

“Oh, Lulu,” Lilith whispered, tears filling her eyes. “You damned fool…”

“Is he…?” Beelzebub let her unfinished question hang in the air.

Several tense moments passed. Then Lucifer coughed up black ash and gold blood, wheezing with shallow breaths.

“No,” Vaggie whispered. “No… No. No! No! NO!!” She leapt into the crater, grabbing the King of Hell by the lapel of his ruined jacket, and began slamming her fist into his face repeatedly.

“Die!! f*cking die!! Why won’t you just f*cking DIE?!” she screamed over and over.

Lucifer’s limp body spasmed slightly with each blow, but he made no move to defend himself. His red eyes stared vacantly towards the sky as he endured blow after blow, as if he was just waiting for her to end it.

End him.

“Vaggie, no!” Charlie cried as she beat her fist uselessly against the barrier. “Dad! Mom! Stop it! Please, stop it!”

“Charlie,” Sir Pentious said, putting his hands around her shoulders. “Pleassssse… It’sssss no good…”

“Everyone I love is down there, Pentious!” the princess cried. “They’re fighting… they’re hurting… and I can’t do anything… I just want it to stop! Please, make it stop!”

The serpentine angel was at a loss for words. Then something caught his eye, hurtling towards the portal.

“Wait, what’ssss that?”

Charlie looked up just in time to see KeeKee burst through the portal. The second the cycloptic feline made it into Charlie’s arms, she transformed into her large key form. Charlie stared at the key in her hands for several moments. Then, as if on instinct, she hoisted it up and held it aloft.

“STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!” she shouted, her voice taking on an ethereal quality as a third eye opened on her forehead.

A sonic boom exploded through the realms as the skies lit up pure white.

Chapter 22: Refiner's Fire

Chapter Text

A loud rumble shook the realms and the blackened skies lit up with pure, white light. The forces of Heaven and Hell all fell to their knees in fear. Vaggie dropped Lucifer’s battered body and fell back, staring up at the sky in shock.

“Is… is this it?!” she exclaimed. “Is this the end?!”

“Oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t!” Angel cried, clinging to Husk’s side as they stared up in terror. “What’s happenin’?!”

Emily grasped Sera’s hand. “Sera,” she whispered. “Is that…?”

“It can’t be…” Sera murmured disbelievingly.

“Sera,” a Voice called down from the skies.

Sera’s hand flew to her mouth as she trembled at the sound.

“Sera, what was that?” Emily asked.

“What was what?” Carmilla asked.

Emily looked at the other angels and demons gathered. No one else seemed to have heard it.

“Only we can hear it,” Sera told the young Joy-Bringer. “Only seraphim can hear… Him.”

From the crater, Lucifer choked on blood and ash. Then the fallen seraph raised one hand up to the sky, as if he were trying to reach out to the Speaker.

“Sera. Bring My poor lost son Home.”

Sera trembled at the Voice. The request surprised and bewildered her, but she knew better than to question it.

“Y-yes, Father,” she whispered.

Spreading her wings, the High Seraphim rose up and descended into the crater. Kneeling down by Lucifer’s side, she slid one hand under his shoulders and the other under his legs, effortlessly lifting him up to cradle him against her chest.

“What are you doing?” Vaggie demanded. “He’s still alive!”

“I know,” Sera responded.

“The cosmos is still in danger as long as he’s still breathing!”

“I’ve been ordered to take him back with me.”

“Ordered?” Vaggie repeated, unaware of the Voice. “Ordered by who?”

Sera looked at the former Exorcist.

“By the Most High.”

Vaggie’s jaw dropped as she understood the gravity of the High Seraphim’s words.

Sera spread her wings and began to ascend towards the portal to Heaven. As she rose, she looked down at the small, limp body in her arms. Some called him the Devil. Others called him a Beast. All agreed that he was the father of all Evil. Even as she was carrying him back to Paradise, she knew that she should hate and fear what he was.

But as those heavy red eyes stared up at her listlessly, Sera felt feelings rise in her that she hadn’t felt since her Father first placed this small body in her arms all those millennia ago.

“Lucifer Samael Morningstar,” Sera said softly as they neared the portal. “I revoke your exile. You can come home, little brother.”

Charlie watched them approach from the other side of the portal, the Lifeforge still clutched tightly in her hand. “Dad,” she whispered, tears brimming her eyes.

“Heaven is a hallowed realm,” Sera said to Charlie. “Evil cannot exist within its borders. When he passes through, he will be… purified…”

“Purified?” Charlie repeated. “Will… will that hurt him?”

“It will be painful.”

Lucifer raised a hand and weakly clutched the front of Sera’s robes, silently signalling that he was ready.

Sera sighed and carried him through the portal. As soon as they passed the barrier, Lucifer’s body ignited with white flames. He screamed and writhed in Sera’s arms as the refining fire burned away the chaff of his soul.

“Dad!” Charlie cried, reaching towards him. Sir Pentious grabbed her hands and squeezed them tight. When she looked at the serpentine angel, he gave her an encouraging smile… silently telling her to be brave and let her father endure this necessary step. Charlie looked down at her hands and then passed the Lifeforge to Sir Pentious. Once in his hands, KeeKee resumed her feline form and curled up in the snake-man’s arms. Pentious smiled down at her and lovingly stroked her between her ears. Charlie then turned back to the seraphim.

When the white flames burned away, Lucifer laid limp in Sera’s arms with his wings wrapped around himself like a feathery cocoon. Sera knelt down and laid him on the ground at Charlie’s feet. As the High Seraphim stepped away, Charlie knelt down beside the mass of feathers and reached out with trembling hands, gently pulling the wings back.

She almost didn’t recognize the face before her. It was incredibly youthful-looking, almost boyish. The skin was porcelain white and without blemish, aside from the two rosy marks at the corners of his mouth. The blond hair was longer than what she was used to seeing on him, framing his face in a manner that was almost – well – angelic. And floating just above his brow was a light blue halo with spiky protrusions that made it resemble a crown.

“Dad,” Charlie whispered.

He opened his eyes, and Charlie found herself looking into the brightest violet eyes she had ever seen. He looked a bit dazed at first, as one who had just awoken from a long, deep sleep. Then his gaze focussed on her and a look of recognition passed through his eyes.

“Charlie…?”

She helped him sit up, his wings folding away from his body as he did so. His six wings were larger and fuller than they were before, and his feathers were pure white. He was wearing a long white robe with golden patterns embroidered into the hems. On the chest there was a golden star pattern, similar to the one on Emily’s dress. He reached up to cup her face in his hands, and she noticed that his fingers were far more human-like in their appearance, lacking any sort of talon or claw. His palms were soft and warm – so different from how she remembered them.

“Charlie,” he whispered brokenly, his violet eyes filling with tears. “Oh, my Charlie… my sweet girl… my angel…”

“Dad!” Charlie cried as she threw her arms around him. He clung to her tightly, and she instantly felt his body convulse with powerful sobs.

“Charlie!” he wept miserably. “My baby girl… I’m so sorry… so sorry, baby girl… I’m sorry!”

“Dad, it’s okay!” she cried, hugging his trembling body close. “I’m here, I’ve got you!”

“It’s not okay!” he wailed. “I-I didn’t protect you! I failed you! I’m your father, I swore to always protect you and I let this happen!”

“Dad, it wasn’t your fault.”

“It was! It is! It’s all my fault! I was blinded by my arrogance! My pride! I let them hurt you, my sweet, sweet princess!”

It became apparent that there were no words she could say to make the pain better. There were no words to erase this kind of sorrow. All she could do was hold him and keep him grounded while he let it out… while he grieved…

“I did so many horrible things,” he lamented. “I hurt your friends… I killed people, Charlie!”

“I know, Dad… I know…”

“How can you bear to even look at me…? I must disgust you…”

“I love you, Dad.”

Her soft-spoken response just made him cry harder.

“How can you…? I-I don’t deserve it…”

“But I do anyways.”

“I don’t deserve forgiveness!”

“I forgive you anyways.”

“Charlie… my sweet Charlie… you’re the one thing I did right… I love you, my sweet Apple Pie…”

“I love you too, Daddy…”

“Please don’t leave me yet.”

“I don’t want to… I want to stay with you…”

Sera heard a portal open to her left. Looking in that direction, she saw the four archangels, Emily, Lilith, and Vaggie step through into Heaven. Vaggie’s hands flew to her mouth as she stared wide-eyed at the young angel in front of her.

“Charls?” she whispered.

Lilith ran forward, her demonic form dissolving away as she fell to her knees and threw her arms around her daughter and estranged husband.

“Charlie… Lulu…” the queen wept. “My darlings… thank goodness you’re both alright…”

“At long last,” Azrael said with a sigh of relief. “Now the healing begins.”

As the small family held each other, Vaggie stood a short distance away. She stared at the princess, unblinking, for fear that if she lost sight of her for even a second that her apparition would fade away.

“Charlie,” her voice trembled. “You’re… here…”

Charlie looked up from her parents’ embrace and met her girlfriend’s gaze. “Vaggie…”

The princess moved to stand up, but found herself being pulled back by her father. Lucifer was staring at her with desperation, silently pleading with her to stay.

“It’s time to let me go, Dad,” she said softly.

He looked like he was about to protest, but then Lilith laid a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Darling,” she whispered. “Let her go now…”

His face contorted and he squeezed his eyes shut, almost as if he were experiencing intense physical pain. At long last, he loosened his grip and her hands slipped through his fingers. Charlie leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, then she stood up and turned to Vaggie. As she walked away, Lucifer clutched his empty arms to his chest, as if he could already feel the full weight of her absence. Lilith wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

“You did well, Lulu,” she told him, tears running down her own cheeks. “I know that was hard.”

Vaggie was standing frozen in place, her eyes never leaving Charlie as the princess approached her.

“Charlie… you’re… an a-angel…”

Charlie smiled and stretched out her wings. “You like?”

“You’re beautiful,” Vaggie breathed. “The most beautiful thing in Heaven and Hell.”

Charlie smiled softly, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “I missed you, my angel,” she said.

The dam finally broke and tears streamed down Vaggie’s face. “Oh God, I missed you so much!” she cried as she flew forward, catching the taller woman in a deep kiss.

“Uh… ahem,” Michael cleared his throat disapprovingly.

“Oh, don’t be such a stiff, Michael!” Gabriel said, elbowing him hard. “Have you ever seen a purer love than that?”

“Nope,” Uriel sniffled.

Azrael looked over at the Angel of Wisdom. “Uriel…? Are you… crying right now?”

“No!” the archangel said quickly, rubbing his eyes.

“Don’t be ashamed of it,” the Angel of Death said. “Crying is good for you.”

“R… r-really?”

“Of course. Tears flush out toxins, release endorphins, improve mood, and reduce stress.”

“R-right,” Uriel mumbled. “I knew that…”

“Plus, women like a sensitive guy!” Gabriel tagged on. “Or, you know… men do… whichever you prefer… who are we to judge?”

“I don’t know,” Michael said dubiously as he crossed his arms. “I’m just not used to these new ways of thinking. Sera, what do you think? Sera…?”

The archangels turned to see that the High Seraphim was no longer where she had been standing when they first arrived. As the brothers had been speaking, she and the young Joy-Bringer had slowly approached the grieving King and Queen of Hell. Sera stood back a little distance as Emily walked forward and knelt down in front of Lucifer.

When Lucifer glanced up and saw the young seraph in front of him, he quickly averted his gaze. He was too ashamed to look her in the eye.

“I’m sorry, Emily,” he said quietly. “I… I haven’t been quite myself lately… but I know that’s no excuse… The things I put you through were… horrible… I know I can never expect you to forgive me, but I hope that in time, I can somehow make amends–”

“Shut up.”

Lucifer looked at her, his brow furrowed. “Sorry?”

“Shut the f*ck up, you big jerk,” she said, leaning forward and throwing her arms around him. “Of course I forgive you. You’re my brother. How could I not?”

Lucifer tried to speak, but was overcome by emotion. All he could do was bury his face into her shoulder as he returned her embrace.

“Is my big brother a big crybaby?” Emily asked teasingly as she rubbed his back in a comforting manner. “I didn’t know the Devil was such a softie.”

“F-forgive me,” Lucifer croaked. “I’m just… so overwhelmed… I can’t fathom the depths of your mercy, to forgive someone like me…”

“It’s called unconditional love, Lulu,” Lilith said. She looked at Sera pointedly. “That’s the kind of love a family shares.”

The High Seraphim lowered her face, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I… I can’t forgive you, Lucifer,” she said.

Lilith’s eyes blazed. “Seriously?!”

Emily looked back at her sister. “Sera–” she began.

“I can’t forgive you because I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness.” She opened her eyes and looked down at him, tears brimming her eyelids. “All you ever asked for was my love and support. I never should have let you think that those were things you needed to earn. I should have given them to you freely. I never should have banished you… either of you… I should have fought for you. We could have worked together to fix the cosmos, but I…” A sob escaped her throat and tears freely fell. “…I left you alone! I never should have abandoned you!”

Sera fell to her knees before her siblings, still towering over them with her gigantic stature. Clutching one hand to her heart, she extended the other to Lucifer.

“Please, forgive me,” she whispered. “No words will ever be enough… but I swear I’ll spend the rest of eternity trying to make it right.”

Lucifer released his hold on Emily and stood up. Spreading his wings, he flew up to Sera’s eye-level and looked her in the face. It seemed for several moments that he was searching for the right words to say to her. In the end, he decided not to say anything at all, instead lunging forward and throwing his arms around Sera’s neck, embracing her tightly. Sera sobbed softly and clutched his small body close to hers, just as she had so many times when he was young.

“I love you, Sis…”

“I love you too, Little Luci…”

The bright white sky seemed to pulse, making everyone look upwards. Charlie clutched Vaggie’s hands with concern.

“What… what was that…?”

“He’s speaking,” Emily said.

When Charlie looked over in her direction, she saw the three seraphim staring up at the sky with awe and wonder in their eyes.

“The One Above All,” Gabriel murmured, his eyes wide. “Only the seraphim can hear His Voice… but I don’t understand… He hasn’t spoken since the Root of Evil was released.”

“He was sealed away in the Highest Realm when the Lifeforge fell into the Underworld,” Sera said, still staring at the sky. “For millennia, He could see the suffering of His children, but was unable to intervene.”

“He could only pass divine judgement on souls on their way to the afterlife,” Emily said, eyes fixed on the sky as well. “He sent the righteous to Heaven and the sinners to Hell.”

“But He always wanted the sinners to have a chance to atone,” Lucifer continued, also staring upwards. “He never wanted Hell to be a permanent punishment. He wanted His children restored to Him.”

“But then,” Sera murmured. “All those souls killed in the exterminations… Did I destroy His children?”

The sky pulsed again, and Sera buried her face into her hands, weeping.

“What did He say?” Vaggie asked.

“He said He gathered all of the souls erased in Hell, and sent them back to Earth,” Emily said. “He gave them all another chance at life… a chance to make better choices… a chance to redeem themselves…”

“Redemption was always part of the plan,” Charlie breathed in amazement.

“You were part of the plan,” Lucifer told her.

Charlie looked at her father. “Me?”

“He needed a righteous soul to return the Lifeforge to Heaven and use it to unlock the Highest Realm. You set Him free, Charlie. Now He can make His Will known once again.”

“And we’ll do well to listen this time,” Sera said, wiping away her tears. “Like an impertinent child, I thought I could run the realms by myself, without seeking His counsel. If I hadn’t been so arrogant, so much of this suffering might have been avoided.”

“It was Him, then,” Azrael murmured. “He’s the One Who altered Princess Morningstar’s fate. He needed her here to unseal Him.”

“Of course,” Emily said, eyes widening with realization. “When I prayed, I felt Him guiding me to intervene in the extermination. It was my presence there that changed Charlie’s fate. It was all His doing.”

“All part of some bigger plan?” Lilith queried.

“‘For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,’” Lucifer quoted, “‘so My Ways are higher than your ways and My Thoughts are higher than your thoughts.’”

Lilith looked over at the seraph, biting her bottom lip. “You are so hot when you get biblical.”

“Okay, He got what He wanted,” Charlie said. “So what happens now?”

The sky pulsed again, and Charlie felt a warmth glow through her that made her feel that she was being addressed directly. Lucifer’s hand flew to his mouth as a gasp escaped him.

“Dad? What did He say…?”

Lucifer looked at her, his violet eyes shining. “He… He says you did your part well… and that now you can go home…”

“Home?” Charlie repeated. “You mean… I can come back to Hell?”

“He says you’re needed there,” Emily said, smiling broadly. “He needs you to continue your work… helping sinners find redemption…”

“He says He’s restoring the Virtues and diplomats to life as well, so they can continue to do their good work in Heaven,” Sera said.

“And all the souls lost in the war will get their chance to live new lives on Earth,” Lucifer said.

“Including Adam,” Emily whispered. The young seraph looked ready to faint from relief.

“Oh, Vaggie!” Charlie squealed, hugging her girlfriend tightly. “I get to come home! I get to be with you!”

Vaggie’s own wings popped out of her back out of sheer joy as she returned Charlie’s tight embrace. “I’m so thankful,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I didn’t know how to live without you. I never want to lose you again!”

“I know the feeling,” Sera murmured, almost to herself. She looked down at Lucifer and Lilith. “I… take it the two of you will return to Hell as well?”

Lilith squeezed Lucifer’s arm. “It’s where we belong now.”

Lucifer nodded. “For better or for worse, Hell is my realm. And I’ve been a poor ruler. I have to go back and try to fix things. That starts with ripping down that wretched fort and rebuilding the Hazbin Hotel. Instead of merely punishing sinners, I need to help them start redeeming themselves. Maybe one day I’ll redeem myself in the process.”

“I understand,” Sera said. “Still… it was nice to have you back here, even for just a brief while. I didn’t realize how much I missed having you here.”

“I missed being here… I missed you…”

“You don’t have to miss each other anymore,” Emily said. “We could visit. We could be a family again.”

“It’s not that simple, Emily,” Sera sighed.

“Running an entire plane of existence is a full-time gig,” Lucifer said. “We can’t just abandon our responsibilities and do whatever we want.”

Charlie stepped forward, a contemplative look in her eyes. “Actually… I think I’ve got a better idea…”

Chapter 23: A Better Idea

Chapter Text

“Good evening, I’m Katie Killjoy!”

“And I’m Dan Dark–”

“Nobody gives a sh*t, Dan! Our top story tonight: The new Hazbin Hotel is officially open for business! That’s right, just three months after Judgement Day, the new Hazbin Hotel has opened its doors, bigger and better than ever!”

“Tell us more, Katie!”

“That’s what I’m f*cking doing, Dan! Thanks to the joint efforts of the Heavenly diplomats and our leadership here in Hell, sinners will have a chance to communicate with their angelic loved ones using Heavenly holographic technology!”

“Amazing! What’s the catch?”

“You have to be enrolled in the Hazbin Redemption Program for the privilege! Naturally, sinners are lining up to check in so they can check out into Heaven!”

“Simply incredible!”

“I guess you could say it’s back to business-as-usual for our dear Princess Morningstar!”

“Some of our viewers might recall that Princess Morningstar died in the last extermination!”

“Shut up, Dan! Yes, it turns out that the Princess of Hell was such a goody-goody that she died and went straight to Heaven! But the Big Man Upstairs decided to send her back! So all’s well that ends well!”

“But Katie, didn’t a lot people die in the apocalypse?”

“Shut the f*ck up, Dan! Nobody gives a sh*t because the Big Man resurrected everyone who matters!”

“But what about everyone else?”

“They get to go back to Earth and live new lives, and possibly end up in Heaven or Hell again!”

“That seems a bit unfair.”

“Welcome to the afterlife, Dan! It’s not a f*cking party!”

“But shouldn’t there be some consequences for the people who allowed this war to happen?”

“You would think so, but there won’t be!”

“That just seems like a real injustice. Is this really the foundation we’re building our–” he used air quotes “–‘better and brighter Hell’ upon?”

“Seriously Dan, shut the f*ck up! This is a heartwarming tale of redemption!”

“Redemption?! This is just another example of the two-tiered justice system showing favour to the rich and powerful!”

“I told you to keep your bleeding-heart liberal bullsh*t out of my studio, Dan!”

“How can our citizens have faith in a system that doesn’t even hold itself accountable when–?!”

“I said shut the f*ck up, DAN!!” Katie snarled, her eyes glowing red and her body growing in size as she sprouted an extra pair of arms and lunged at her co-anchor.

The screen cut to an image of an imp pissing on an electrical outlet with the words “TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY” displayed beneath it.

Vox turned off the television in the Vees’ private lounge and sighed. “Looks like Studio 666 is gonna need a new co-anchor.”

“Why not use one of the teens who run the coffee kiosk?” Velvette asked as she used her phone’s camera as a mirror while she applied fresh lipstick. “We’ll call it an internship.”

“Unpaid?” Vox asked.

“Duh,” Velvette replied.

“That tonto verga had a point, though,” Val said, taking a drag from his cigarette. “No one’s happy about the aftermath of Lucifer’s brief tenure as a tyrannical despot. All the death and destruction he wrought was quite inconvenient for everyone. The fact that he gets off scott-free after leading all those sinners to their deaths is really rubbing people the wrong way. I have to imagine the angels share that sentiment.”

“Well, we all know what happens when the commoners become disillusioned with the monarchy,” Velvette said with a smirk. “Civil unrest… Uprisings… Revolution.”

“It could be a good opportunity to seize control,” Vox said, steepling his fingers. “After all… nature hates a power vacuum.”

“I’d say the future is looking bright for the Vees,” Val said with a grin.

The trio’s laughter was interrupted by an imp with glasses poking her head in the door. “Um… excuse me?” she said timidly.

“Bitch, I told you not to bother us right now!” Val barked at the poor assistant.

“I-I know, sir, but, uh, you see–”

“Stop stuttering and spit it out already!” Velvette snapped at her.

“Prince Asmodeus is here to see you!” the imp blurted out.

“What? The Sin of Lust?” After a brief moment, Val started laughing. “Oh, you precious little thing. You need to get those glasses checked, because there’s no way in Here that Asmodeus would–”

“‘Sup, bitches?” Asmodeus said as he stepped out of a portal directly behind the trio. The Vees yelped in shock, and then Vox and Velvette leapt off the satin couch and hid behind Val, who was glued to the back of his chair.

“He requests a meeting!” the imp shrieked as she fled, slamming the door shut behind her.

Asmodeus stepped over the couch with his long legs and flopped down onto it, taking up most of the cushions with his large frame. “Valentino, I presume?” Asmodeus said, fixing Val with a cool smirk. “Biggest purveyor of p*rnography in Hell. You’re pretty successful up here. You’ve produced some of my personal favourites.”

“O-oh, why, th-thank you!” Val stuttered. “That certainly is high praise coming from you, your Highness. I’m honoured that you’re a fan of my work!”

“Anyway, it suddenly occurred to me,” Asmodeus continued, “you make bank appealing to peoples’ lusts… I’m the embodiment of lust…” The Sin grinned malevolently. “That kinda makes me, like… I don’t know… your boss or something.”

Val started sweating bullets, immediately regretting the direction this conversation was taking. “Uh, I-I mean, uh… I, uh, suppose, but, uh, y-your Highness, really… I’m sure you have better things to do than trouble yourself with my little production company.”

“Little?” Asmodeus repeated, laughing while slapping his knee. “Your films swept the Sex-x-xis last year! And you’re right, I really do have better things to do, but see, I have some pressing concerns that I simply cannot ignore. Lust is my jurisdiction, and I can’t in good conscience ignore what appear to be some prevalent problems in your industry.”

“P-problems?” Val repeated. “Hah, uh… what problems?”

“Well, let’s start with labour standards… is it true that you’ve made some of your employees work for sixteen hours at a time?”

“Oh! Well… you know… when the muses call, you can’t just–”

“And what are you paying your actors? Enough to cover basic costs of living?”

“Well–”

“And everyone gets tested, right? I’ll bet that’s covered under the health plan. You do offer a health plan, right?”

“I mean–”

“And everybody needs to be educated on their basic rights as employees! They know they can say no to anything that makes them uncomfortable, right?”

“Uh–”

“And while we’re on the subject of consent, I can’t help but notice that a lot of your films have taken a darker turn of late. Lots of non-con and rapey content. I mean, roleplay between consenting adults is fine and whatever, but I really think we could show the viewers the true art of earning and mutually enjoying lust!”

“I’m sorry… did you say ‘we’?”

“Absolutely!” Asmodeus said with a grin. “It’s obvious I need to get more involved in this industry! And there’s going to be a lot of changes around here!”

Val laughed nervously. “Hah, your Highness, uh… while I appreciate the offer–”

“Oh, it’s not an offer… It’s an ultimatum. I’m going to be intimately involved in every film that comes out of your studio from now on… or else…”

“O-or else what, your Highness?”

Asmodeus leaned forward, grinning wickedly. “Or else, I’m going to tell my boss that you offered his daughter a job.”

Val felt his blood turn to ice and he silently cursed the day he laid eyes on that princess.

“Uhm… well, when you put it like that… I look forward to our collaboration…”

“Wonderful!” Asmodeus said gleefully, clapping his hands together. “Now, for our first project, I’m thinking we’ll start with a six-part series on the sexiness of active consent!”

Val stared blankly as the Sin of Lust droned on, numb with the realization that p*rn was never going to be the same again.

Beelzebub drummed her fingers on the boardroom table at the new Heaven Embassy as she stared blankly at the being sitting across from her. This whole thing was turning out like a bad date.

“So… Temperance?” she asked.

“Yeah.” The Virtue had taken her regular form for the mandatory meeting, appearing as a yellow, anthropomorphic mouse with long white robes and a pair of modest wings.

“Mind if I eat?”

Bee didn’t wait for the angel to answer, immediately summoning dozens of plates and bowls of snacks and finger foods. The Sin began stuffing chips into her face while the Virtue looked on with bafflement.

“You’re, uh… you’re going to eat all of that?”

“Why, did you want some?” Bee asked around a mouthful of food.

“I can’t. I’m not really there, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Bee said, snapping her fingers. “Hologram. Sorry, you just look so real.” She stuck her hand through the Virtue’s head and watched the image flicker. “Hah! That’s some crazy sh*t!”

“I couldn’t help but notice a lack of fruits or vegetables in your meal.”

“I didn’t feel like pizza right now.”

“And… you eat like this every day?”

“Nah, sometimes I really pig out. I just felt like a light snack right now.”

“I’m sorry, how are you not a giant fat-ass?!” Temperance finally demanded, exasperated by the party-girl’s behaviour.

“Oh, it’s my crazy metabolism,” Bee said. “I have to consume almost constantly, or I get hypoglycemic. Last time my sugar bottomed out, I talked Genghis Khan into conquering like half of the continent of Asia. Hah, that was a crazy couple decades.”

“So, you have to eat constantly or you could cause a global atrocity?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“That sounds like pure Hell.”

“It’s not so bad,” Bee shrugged. “I get to eat all the yummy food I want and still keep my hot figure.”

“I literally don’t understand how you could live like that.”

“C’mon, you’ve never indulged in any of the treats Heaven has to offer? I hear you guys have got that ambrosia that’s sweeter than honey.”

“I wouldn’t know. I only consume what my body requires for healthy function. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“So no alcohol?”

“Of course not. It’s nutritionally bereft.”

“So you’ve never even tried it?!”

“I can’t. It would make me violently ill.”

“That sounds like pure Hell!”

“Are you kidding? You’re the one who can’t go five minutes without stuffing your face!”

“Eating and drinking feels good to me!”

“Abstinence and sobriety feel good to me!”

Bee co*cked her head. “Huh. I guess I see the point of these one-on-ones now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the point was for the Sins and the Virtues to get to know each other better and to learn how to strike a balance for the sake of all the souls on Earth, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I always assumed you would be a stuck-up prudish angel who didn’t know how to have fun. But I guess I learned you’re just doing what feels good to you, like I do.”

“I see… well, I guess you only consume what you have to in order to be stable… no more, no less…”

“I guess we’re not that different after all.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?”

The Sin and the Virtue sat in pensive silence for a moment.

“So tomorrow Mammon is going to meet Charity,” Bee commented. “What’s she like?”

“She’s very serious,” Temperance answered. “Always seeking donors for her numerous foundations. Doesn’t like taking no for an answer.”

“They’re gonna hate each other.”

“Maybe they’ll find one thing they can agree on and build from there.”

“Mmm,” Bee hummed as she started digging into a basket of French fries. “Say, what was dying like?”

“It was unpleasant.”

“So, did you go to, like, Double Heaven, or…?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

Bee bit into a fry and stared at her. “I’ve got time…”

Angel Dust had been incredibly anxious for this meeting. He had spent so much time pacing that he had worn a path into the carpet of his bedroom. He was beyond terrified, and yet he had dreamed of this moment for over seventy-five years. Now it was finally happening, and suddenly it was like no time had passed at all.

“Four months sober?” Molly asked, beaming at her twin brother. “That’s incredible, Toni! You never managed to go that long when you were alive!”

Angel rubbed the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. “Yeah… who knew it would take goin’ to Hell to set me on the straight and narrow?”

Angel and Husk were sitting next to each other at one of the many tables in the Hazbin Hotel lobby, with Molly’s holographic projection sitting directly across from them. She was a cute, pink arachnid angel with two arms, four legs, and an adorable set of tiny wings. All around them, sinners were sitting at tables conversing with the holograms of their loved ones in Heaven, some of whom hadn’t seen each other in several millennia. The atmosphere in the room was one of joy and happiness.

“He’s put a lot of hard work into changing himself,” Husk said, looking over at Angel. “We’re all really proud of him… I’m really proud of him…”

“Thank you so much for everything you’ve done to help my brother, Mr. Husk,” Molly said, smiling at the bartender. “You’ve been a very good friend to him.”

Angel and Husk both blushed a bit, stealing a glance at each other. Finally, Angel looked back at Molly. “Um… Sis? Husk is… well… he ain’t my friend…”

“He’s not?”

“No… he’s my… well, he’s my…” He glanced at Husk one more time, then boldly took the former overlord’s hand and looked back at his sister.

“He’s my boyfriend!”

“Your… boyfriend?” Molly repeated, furrowing her brow as she glanced back and forth between the couple. “But… he’s…”

“A man?” Angel dead-panned.

“Black?” Husk said simultaneously.

Angel turned his head to look at Husk. “Wait… you’re Black?”

“How did you not know that?” Husk asked incredulously.

“I dunno,” Angel shrugged. “You’ve got a lot of fur.”

Molly was still staring at them. “He’s… he’s…”

“What, Molly?” Angel demanded. “Gay? Short? Old?”

“Employed!”

Angel blinked at her. “What?”

“All those boys you used to sneak into your room back home were a bunch of unemployed junkies!” she exclaimed. “They were all such bad influences on you! But this man…” She gestured to Husk. “He’s got a stable job at a reputable establishment, he’s clean, he’s sensible… I just never imagined you’d be with someone this good for you!”

“Wait… so you’re okay with me being with a man?” Angel asked disbelievingly.

“Toni, you’re my twin brother,” Molly smiled at him. “I’ve always known who you are. I just wanted you to be with someone who made you happy and who treated you well. Does Mr. Husk do those things for you?”

Angel blushed and looked over at Husk, who smiled back at him. “Yeah… he does… I’m really happy now…”

“Then I’m happy, too,” Molly said.

Angel looked back at her, tears of happiness brimming his eyes. “Thanks, Sis.”

“So when are you two getting married?”

“Sis!”

“Are you sure thisssss isssss allowed?” Sir Pentious asked nervously.

“Of course it ain’t allowed,” Cherri Bomb responded. “That’s what makes it exciting.”

“But what if we get caught?”

“Don’t be such a chicken-sh*t!” Cherri chided him. “If your angelic taskmasters catch you, just blame me! Tell them the unholy demon chick nagged you into sneaking that projector back to your room. They’ll assume I was being a bad influence!”

Sir Pentious drummed his fingers against his lap as his holographic projection sat perched on the edge of her bed.

“I… I’d never blame anything on you, Cherri,” he said, blushing deeply.

Cherri was sitting cross-legged beside him. The cycloptic woman grinned at him as she leaned back on her palms.

“Well, ain’t you just a gentleman?” she said cheekily. “It’s stupid we have to sneak around like this, though. We’re both adults! We’re entitled to some privacy if we want it!”

“Right… and… why do we want it, again?”

“Because we gotta talk about that kiss, ya f*cknut!” she exclaimed. “Ya kissed me and then ya just ran off and died!”

Sir Pentious cringed. “Sssssorry about that.”

“It was pretty hot.”

“O-oh!” he stiffened up. “Really?”

“Did ya mean what ya said?”

“Uh, what I sssssaid? Um, what did I ssssssay?”

Cherri leaned toward him. “Ya said ya loved me.”

“I, uh, did? Oh, I, um… I guesssssss I did, didn’t I?”

“Did ya mean it?”

“Um… well… that isssssss…”

“Yes or no, snake-boy.”

Sir Pentious turned absolutely crimson and averted his eyes from her.

“Yesssssss…”

Cherri started laughing, making the serpentine angel look back at her indignantly.

“Oh, come on!” he protested. “That wassssss hard to admit!”

“I’m sorry,” Cherri said, wiping a tear from her eye. “You’re just so f*ckin’ adorable, I can’t f*ckin’ stand it!”

“I-I am? Issssss that… a good thing?”

“Yeah, snake-boy… It’s a good thing.” She inched closer to him. “So… just how interactive are these holograms?”

“Well, I’ve heard that ssssssome of the high-ranking angelssssss can adjust the ssssssettings to interact with sssssolid objectssssss… but I don’t know much about how it worksssssss…”

Cherri picked up the projector with a wicked grin. “Well, I’ve got all day to tinker with the settings. Wanna take them apart and figure out how they work?”

The serpentine angel’s eyes lit up with excitement. “I’ll grab my toolssssss!”

Working at the Hell Embassy meant long, gruelling hours, but Emily didn’t mind it. In fact, she had insisted upon joining the staff after hearing Charlie’s plan to reunite the winners and sinners who had been separated in death. Though the work consumed her every waking moment, Emily couldn’t imagine a more rewarding job. Every day, she fielded inquiries from winners who wondered if their loved ones were down in Hell. Every day, she conducted background checks into the fates of sinners. Often, she would come to learn that they had lost their lives during one of the many exterminations. But even that knowledge brought a measure of closure to the angels who could take comfort in knowing that their loved ones’ souls had returned to Earth to live their lives anew.

But when she found a living sinner… oh, what a rush that was! She would send a herald to Charlie right away to let that soul know that their loved ones in Heaven wanted to see them. So far, in every single case that sinner would immediately enroll in the Hazbin Redemption Program. It had reached a point where the hotel now had a waiting list several hundred names long, and continuing to grow daily.

And seeing winners come and go from the embassy every day… entering with anxious anticipation and leaving with hopeful joy after speaking with their loved ones… There was no greater feeling in Emily’s book.

The embassy doors opened once again and Emily looked up to greet them with a smile. “Hello!” she said with practiced professionalism. “Welcome to the Hell Embassy! How can I help–?” Her eyes widened and her heart sank. “Oh.”

“There’s someone I love that I want to talk to,” Lute practically hissed at the seraph. “But I guess you can’t help me do that. No one can now.”

Emily looked at the former Exorcist Commander with remorse. “I’m sorry, Lute,” she said softly. “Adam’s soul has gone to Earth. There’s no way to find him now.”

Lute narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, I’ve been told… Just like I was told what happened to my former Commander… His last days… How he died…”

“Lute… I’m really sorry… You have no idea how much I regret what I did… But Adam… he was in so much pain… he wanted it to be over…”

“So you decided to finish the job for Lucifer,” Lute spat at her. “Who gave you the f*cking right?”

“Lute–”

“And then, as if that weren’t enough, you had to find me on the battlefield. You had to go and save me, like that could somehow make up for what you did. You couldn’t just let me die and go to Earth too. You had to bring me back here to be alone.”

Emily stood up from her desk, fixing Lute with a hard look. “I’m sorry about what happened to Adam… what I did to Adam… but I won’t apologize for saving your life. If you’re alone, that’s on you. Adam has a chance to relive his life and make better choices… become a better person… And when his new life is over, he may come back to you.”

“But he won’t be the same!” Lute protested angrily. “If he comes back, he’ll come back different! He won’t be the person I knew anymore!”

“No. He won’t be. And you can grieve for the person he was. But sooner or later, you will have to accept what happened.”

“What I accept,” Lute growled, “is that you, Sera, Lucifer, Lilith, and that demon c*nt Princess Morningstar have ruined my afterlife! And you’ll just ruin more afterlives if you let more of those disgusting demon losers past the Pearly Gates… as if they could actually be redeemed!”

“They can be!” Emily said authoritatively, her light shining as her emotions rose. “They have been! We have proof now! The One Above All has sanctioned our work, and as long as there are sinners in Hell, we’ll keep doing everything we can to help them find redemption!”

Lute glared at the Light-Bearer defiantly. “I won’t let this stand. I will return to Hell one day. And I will make the Morningstars and everyone in that f*cking hotel pay for what they took from me.”

“Then I hope you’re ready for what awaits you,” Emily said coolly.

Lute scoffed, turning on her heel and storming out.

Lilith sighed contentedly. “Lulu, I’ve been thinking about something…”

“About what? The hot nasty sex we just had on the table we eat off of? Because I can’t stop thinking about it either.”

Lilith rolled onto her side to face him, propping herself up on one elbow. “I think you should grow your hair out.”

Lucifer rolled over to face her and mirrored her position. “I thought you liked my pompadour?”

“I do. It makes you look distinguished. But seeing you with long hair again in Heaven?” She grinned and reached out to twirl one of his mussy blonde locks around her finger. “It reminded me of that sexy rebel angel I fell in love with.”

“Yeah?” he grinned, showing off his sharp fangs. “Well, right now you’re reminding me a lot of that strong-willed dreamer I met in that garden all those millennia ago.”

“Is it because I’m naked right now?”

“That’s part of it.”

The couple leaned in close to each other and shared an intimate kiss. After a few moments, Lucifer pulled away and looked at Lilith.

“So… when are we gonna tell Charlie about… this?”

“This?”

“You know…” He gestured back and forth between them. “This.”

Lilith bit her lip uncomfortably. “I don’t know… what exactly is this? Are we… getting back together?”

“I don’t know… I mean… I don’t not want to get back together.”

“I don’t not want to get back together either…”

“But… maybe we should ease back into it?”

“How do we do that?”

He blushed a bit. “I dunno… maybe we should try… dating each other?”

“Dating each other?” Lilith repeated. “Did we ever really date in the first place?”

“Heh… not really… I guess you could say I…” He pumped his eyebrows at her. “…fell hard for you.”

Lilith groaned. “Your dad jokes are the worst.”

“Is there a word for the sense of satisfaction one gets from a negative response to a well-timed pun?”

“I’m sure the Germans have one,” Lilith said as she leaned in to kiss him again.

Alastor suddenly materialized from the shadows. “Dinner will be served in exactly fifteen–, Jesus Christ.” The Radio Demon turned up his nose in disgust when he noticed the king and queen’s state of undress.

“He really doesn’t like it when you use His Name like that,” Lucifer chided him. “Oh hey, next time you’re at the store, can you check and see if they make a wood polish that will get sex stains out of mahogany?”

Alastor’s smiled tensed. “Could you please put some clothes on?”

“Is that a favour?” Lucifer asked with a malicious smirk.

“Oh Lulu, don’t be like that,” Lilith scolded him. “Be the bigger man.”

“Of course, my love,” he said sweetly, snapping his fingers to materialize matching red silk bathrobes on their bodies.

“Bigger man?” Alastor repeated with a laugh. “Oh Mistress, don’t taunt the poor man with unreachable dreams.”

“Alastor,” Lilith said warningly.

“Apologies for my short temper, Mistress,” Alastor said, his grin morphing into a sneer. “I shouldn’t stoop to such levels. I’m above such pettiness.”

“Don’t you have some wood polish to shop for?” Lucifer asked, co*cking an eyebrow.

“I think there’s been more than enough ‘wood polishing’ for one day,” Alastor shot back.

“Enough!” Lilith commanded as she slid off the table and stood up. “I tire of this childish bickering. Alastor, clean up this mess before dinner.”

“Don’t you think my skills would be better utilized helping dear Charlie run her new hotel? I’ve heard they’re quite busy down there.”

Lilith snorted at that. “You want to go back there after you tried to kill most of the staff? Hah, no. You’re going to stay here for now and prove that you can behave. Now get on with it. I want this table spotless by the time I finish freshening up.”

Lucifer reached out and tugged on the sleeve of her robe. “Sure you don’t want to have one more go before dinner?” he asked with a seductive grin.

“Your sisters are joining us remotely this evening. I doubt they want to plug in and see that.”

“Aaaaaand just like that, I’m flaccid,” Lucifer sighed. “Do you really have to bring up my sisters when I’m trying to be sexy?”

“Every wife needs an effective boner-repellent, darling,” she grinned cheekily at him. “Now I suggest you go clean up too.”

As she began walking away towards the door, Lucifer rolled onto his stomach and propped his chin up on his elbows with his hoofed feet in the air like a tween girl.

“Hate to see you go, darling… Love watching you leave.” He wolf-whistled at her for good measure.

“Would you kindly move your pasty ass?” Alastor asked, his tone conveying annoyance.

“Is that another favour?” Lucifer asked antagonistically as he swung his legs over the edge and let his feet dangle.

Alastor’s grin remained unwavering as he glared at the king. “We had a deal. You’re still indebted to me.”

“I think not,” Lucifer said cooly as he inspected his claws. “I was very specific that I would convince Lilith to free you only after all of the angels were dead. Have you seen Heaven recently? It’s lousy with angels! I’d say it’s you who failed to uphold your end of the bargain.”

“Only because of your new peace treaty with Heaven. You don’t get to enter into an agreement with me and then just change your mind.”

“Al, I’m the king… I get to do whatever the f*ck I want. Besides, you’re the one who shook on my terms while overlooking one very crucial detail.”

“Oh? And that would be?”

“I did specify every angel had to die. That means in order for you to hold up your end, you would have had to kill me as well. So you never would have gotten what you wanted from me anyways.”

Alastor’s eyes widened. “You tricky little devil…”

“Thank you!”

“You never had any intention of fulfilling your end of our deal.”

“Now isn’t it just as well that the war is over? It’s spared you a lot of wasted effort.”

“I don’t like being played for the fool…”

“But you play the part so well!”

As the devil laughed at him, Alastor stood silently grinding his teeth. A deal was a deal, and when a deal was made, he expected to get what he wanted. The fact that this little troll thought he could wriggle out of his obligation was something Alastor simply could not accept.

And yet, he still had one card left in his hand. That hapless princess had made a deal with him. She owed him a favour. He had thought that favour lost when she was killed, but now that she had returned to Hell there was nothing stopping him from coming to collect whenever he wanted to. The king was sure to change his tune when he realized just how deep his little girl was in with him.

Alastor began chuckling darkly despite himself.

“Eh? What are you laughing at?” Lucifer asked.

“Nothing, your Majesty. I was just thinking of a funny joke I heard the other day.”

“I like jokes. Let’s hear it.”

“The Devil and the Radio Demon walk into an amusem*nt park. The attendant says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.’ The Devil says, ‘What, you’ve got something against Creoles?’ The attendant answers, ‘No, you must be this tall to ride!’” He waved his hand a few inches over Lucifer’s head and laughed heartily.

“Oooh, another short joke, how creative,” Lucifer said drily. He hopped off the table and narrowed his eyes at the Radio Demon. “I wanna be able to see my face in this table when I get back.”

“Of course, your Majesty,” Alastor said with a hint of menace as he tilted his head. “You can count on me…”

“Wow,” Charlie exhaled. “That was one heck of a first day!”

“Did you see how happy everyone was, talking to their loved ones?” Vaggie asked. “All those reunions?”

“It was incredible!” Charlie agreed. “The residents seem more motivated than ever to work on redeeming themselves!”

“Speaking of, what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a full day planned!” Charlie said excitedly. “We’ll start with yoga at 7am, followed by breakfast, a nature walk at 9am, group therapy at 11am, break for lunch, the Empathy 101 workshop at 1pm, art therapy at 3pm, dinner, and then the residents can spend the evening journaling!”

“Wow. That is a pretty full day.”

“I know, isn’t it great? Souls are gonna be checking out into Heaven in no time!”

Vaggie sighed contentedly as she looked at her girlfriend. “They sure will, babe.”

Charlie blushed a bit when she noticed Vaggie’s gaze. “Um, hun?” she giggled shyly. “Why’re you staring?”

“I just can’t believe how lucky I am,” Vaggie said softly. “Not just having you in my life, but getting you back after I thought I’d lost you forever. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real… like it’s all a wonderful dream, and any second I could wake up.”

Charlie lightly pinched Vaggie’s cheek and smiled. “It’s no dream… I’m here with you. And I’ll always be here.”

The couple leaned in and shared a chaste kiss that quickly turned heated as the taller woman pushed the shorter angel against the wall of the hotel corridor. Sensing what their activities were leading to, Vaggie knew they were going to need some privacy very quickly. She was vaguely aware of the utility closet just behind them. A perfect little spot for some adult fun. Fumbling around for the doorknob, Vaggie finally laid her hand on it and threw it open.

Charlie and Vaggie jumped and cursed loudly as an avalanche of sweaty bodies tumbled out of the closet. The couple stared at the pile of tangled limbs, which included five sinners, three imps, two hellhounds, and what appeared to be an Exorcist, all in various states of undress.

“The f*ck?!” Vaggie exclaimed.

The interrupted orgy looked up collectively in wide-eyed alarm. In seconds, they scattered – some pulling up pants and underwear, others opting to simply cover their nudity with their hands as they fled.

“Bye, new friends!” Niffty called to them as she stepped out of the closet in nothing more than her panties and bra. “Call me!”

“Niffty?!” Charlie exclaimed. “What are you doing?!”

The diminutive housekeeper looked up at the princess with her one large eye. “Oh, hi Charlie! When did you get back?”

“I haven’t seen you since Judgement Day!” Vaggie exclaimed. “Were you here the whole time?!”

“I don’t know,” Niffty shrugged. “Is today still Thursday?”

“It’s Monday, Niff.”

“Oh, wow!” Niffty exclaimed. “My new friends and I were having so much fun, we must have lost track of time! Oh, well!” She glanced back and forth between Charlie and Vaggie. “So, what did I miss?”

~ The End ~

Soli Deo gloria