Film Capsules Capsule rev ... (2024)

HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG (R) -- See review on Page 43.

PAYCHECK (PG-13) -- See review on Page 41.

PETER PAN (PG) -- See review on Page 41.

YOUNG BLACK STALLION (G) -- See capsule review on Page 43.

First Runs & Revivals

{sstar} BAD SANTA (R, 93 minutes) -- In Terry Zwigoff's movie, Billy Bob Thornton is Willie, a foulmouthed, besotted department store Santa with a hidden agenda. Turns out he's a safecracker, in partnership with 3-foot-tall Santa Elf buddy Marcus (Tony Cox), who robs from the store when the holiday gig is done. When Willie becomes friends with a kid who invites him to his home, however, the old cynic doesn't realize his moral redemption has begun. "Bad Santa" is not for anyone who considers Christmas too sacrosanct to joke about, or who shudders at verbally abusive scenes involving children. But for anyone else with a dark sense of humor, the movie's a subversive riot. And Thornton is one hilariously bad Santa. Contains pervasive obscenity, sexual content and some violence. Area theaters.

{sstar} THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS (LES INVASIONS BARBARES) (Unrated, 99 minutes) -- A somber reunion of friends and family around the hospital bed of an unapologetic and dying philanderer (Remy Girard) evolves into a moving exploration of what it means to live and to die. Although Remy refuses to let loneliness or approaching death stop him from reveling in his sexual memories, his estranged son, Sebastien (Stephane Rousseau), makes sure his father retains dignity. He even finds street heroin for his pain. Denys Arcand's film is admirable in its refusal to be politically correct. And like Sebastien, we can't help but find ourselves falling for an old crank whose spirit refuses to be broken, but who isn't too lost in himself to acknowledge the good things around him. Contains drug use, obscenity and mature sexual discussions. In French with subtitles. Landmark's Bethesda Row, Cinema Arts Fairfax and Cineplex Odeon Outer Circle.

BROTHER BEAR (G, 85 minutes) -- In this pleasant but routine animated feature, Kenai (Joaquin Phoenix), a young boy in the prehistoric Arctic, has to learn a big spiritual lesson when his actions cause the death of an older brother and a bear. His departed brother transforms Kenai into a bear, forcing the boy to see things differently. The movie has such by-the-numbers lethargy, you'd swear the whole thing was conceived, produced and distributed by in-house robots and machines. Even Phil Collins's songs, despite some energetic rhythms and percussion, come across as repeddled versions of his "Tarzan" tunes. But there are moments of comic relief from such characters as two moose (Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas) who speak in goofy Canadian accents. Contains emotionally distressing material dealing with loss of life. Annapolis Mall.

{sstar} BUS 174 (Unrated, 122 minutes) -- Jose Padilha's documentary, a collection of television news footage assembled into gripping narrative with powerful commentary, follows a true tragedy of errors that took place on June 12, 2000. When a homeless Brazilian named Sandro Rosa do Nascimento commandeered a bus at gunpoint near the botanical gardens in Rio de Janeiro, the situation swelled to immediate, telegenic hysteria. But what seems to be a competent documentary about a hostage crisis in Rio deepens with every passing minute. By the end, you realize you've seen an extraordinary movie, easily one of the best of the year. Director Padilha, who spends time with street people, social workers, cops and sociologists, creates not only a nerve-wracking SWAT standoff, but an examination of an entire society. Contains documentary violence, intense thematic material and obscenity. In Portuguese with subtitles. Cineplex Odeon Inner Circle.

CALENDAR GIRLS (PG-13, 108 minutes) -- If you enjoyed "The Full Monty," you'll probably enjoy "Calendar Girls," despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that it is little more than a distaff version of the 1997 hit about out-of-shape British steelworkers who turn to stripping when they lose their jobs. This gently amusing comedy-drama by Nigel ("Saving Grace") Cole tells the real-life story of a stodgy English women's club that put out a calendar a few years back showing its less-than-bootylicious members -- all older than 50 -- in the almost-buff in order to raise money to buy a new couch for the local hospital's visitor's lounge. The calendar becomes an international sensation, leading not just to a talk-show appearance but to marital discord and jeopardized friendships. The idea for the calendar arises when Annie (Julie Walters) loses her husband, John (John Alderton), to leukemia, and her best friend, Chris (Helen Mirren), hits upon the notion of slightly tweaking their charitable women's organization's custom of publishing an annual calendar picturing local scenes and still lives. Despite the laugh-out-loud yukfest it seems destined to be packaged as, "Calendar Girls" has shockingly few giggles, thanks to the fact that it opens with -- and lavishes too much attention on -- John's death. The film ends up feeling neither sizzling nor sobering, but like a warm and slightly insipid cup of artificially sweetened herbal tea. Contains largely -- but not entirely -- obstructed views of naked body parts, a tiny bit of rude language, thematic sexuality and the smoking of what turns out to be oregano, all in heavily Yorkshire-accented English that could stand to have a subtitle now and again. Loews Georgetown and Cineplex Odeon Shirlington.

-- Michael O'Sullivan

THE CAT IN THE HAT (PG, 73 minutes) -- The only dramatic tension here is whether Mike Myers can save a humdrum movie with a cat mask on his face. The answer is no. Occasionally, Myers adds some wicked little licks of his own to the film. Perhaps too wicked. Unfortunately, he's up against a movie (with Dakota Fanning and Spencer Breslin as the two kids) that's about as creatively inspired as a giant hairball. That mask is a problem too. Although you can see Myers's eyes and hear that distinctive voice, he's effectively muzzled. Contains risque humor and some slapstick pratfalls. Area theaters.

THE COOLER (R, 101 minutes) -- In this casino-set romance noir, William H. Macey plays another likable, doe-eyed loser. He's Bernie Lootz, whose awful luck at the gaming tables lands him a lucrative job. Slimy casino owner Shelly Kaplow (Alec Baldwin) makes him the house jinx, the guy whose chilly presence freezes everyone's luck. Until he falls in love with co*cktail waitress Natalie (Maria Bello), that is. Had "The Cooler" stuck to its dark guns and not turned into a treacly, love-conquers-all fairy tale, this movie might have gone somewhere. In the end, you're only watching this with a sort of mercenary interest in the actors. The best is Macy, who grows from subhuman schmuck to self-confident prince as he entertainingly maneuvers through the dangerous world around him. Contains sex scenes, nudity, graphic violence, obscenity and drug use. Area theaters.

ELF (PG, 90 minutes) -- As a human mistakenly raised by Santa's elves, Will Ferrell is about the only reason to see this movie; that, and a rare opportunity to see a PG-rated family film. When Buddy (Ferrell) learns of his human origins, he makes the journey to Manhattan in search of his birth father (James Caan), an insensitive children's book publisher who's out of touch with wife Emily (Mary Steenburgen) and son Michael (Daniel Tay). Ferrell's wild-eyed goofiness, his seemingly impenetrable naivete and the fact that he's a 6-foot-plus man in a green costume give the movie a moderate share of funny moments. But it's way, way short of hilarious. Contains mild rude humor and language. Area theaters.

THE HAUNTED MANSION (PG, 98 minutes) -- Real estate workaholic Jim Evers (Eddie Murphy) realizes it's time to give more of himself to the family, so he and wife Sara (Marsha Thomason) take the family to the lake for a weekend. That's when they visit an old manor that may be up for sale. If you've ever heard a ghost story or watched a few seconds of a Scooby-Doo cartoon, you can guess what happens next. This latest in Murphy's string of family vehicles isn't perfect. The comedy induces fewer giggles than it should and the plot raises questions that are never answered. How does a Victorian manor that's haunted mostly by British people end up on the outskirts of an American suburb? The point of "Haunted Mansion" is for audiences to sit back and enjoy the ride, which is relatively easy to do thanks to an engaging story, the striking, Gothic-inspired set by Oscar-winner John Myhre and some delightful special effects. Contains frightening images, thematic elements and coarse language. Area theaters.

-- Jen Chaney

HONEY (PG-13, 98 minutes) -- Jessica Alba plays Honey, a hip-hop dance instructor who's as dainty and wholesome as she is slick with those gyrating dance moves. In this candy-cane vehicle, it's all about the way Alba moves and how good she looks when she's backlighted and smiling. When a slick music director (David Moscow) gives her a dream job, she has to consider his ultimate intentions. Will Honey be able to handle the emotional turbulence she's about to experience? And will she be able to raise money for a hip-hop school for her little world of kids (including pouty posturer Lil' Romeo)? Will she understand that barber and supportive pal Chaz (Mekhi Phifer) is the true one for her? Alba fans may be the only ones who want to see if these questions are answered. Contains mild sexual situations and drug dealing. Area theaters.

{sstar} IN AMERICA (PG-13, 100 minutes) -- Loosely drawn from Irish filmmaker Jim Sheridan's own experiences as a film student in Manhattan in the early 1980s, and co-written by Sheridan and his two daughters, the poignant, often poetic memoir is that rarest of breeds -- a film that doesn't exert pressure on your tear ducts so much as your heart. Slowly, gently, Sheridan uses slice-of-life humor and almost magical realism in his tale of a struggling actor/cab driver (Paddy Considine) and his family to seduce the viewer. Parceling out small but great truths about life, death and starting over, "In America" is a bittersweet gem, as uplifting as it is sad. Contains an artfully shot sex scene, some drug references, the threat of violence and a bit of coarse language. Area theaters.

-- Michael O'Sullivan

{sstar} KILL BILL, VOL. 1 (R, 112 minutes) -- A tale of Old Testament vengeance set in a postmodern world of all-gal assassins, Quentin Tarantino's return to the screen after a long silence is proof that the filmmaker hasn't lost a trick. The balletically bloody story of a skilled hit woman's (Uma Thurman) attempt to avenge the attack that put her in a four-year coma and killed her unborn child, "Kill Bill, Vol. 1" is just the first half of what promises to be a majestic epic of violence as an abstract aesthetic. Sure, it's brilliance for brilliance's sake, but who's complaining? Contains considerable violence, obscenity and sexual situations. Cineplex Odeon Inner Circle.

THE LAST SAMURAI (R, 144 minutes) -- Despite its intelligent agenda, swollen heart and fabulously epic surface, Ed Zwick's movie amounts to a didactic banality: a white guy's politically correct lesson abroad. In the late 1870s, Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise), a soldier and survivor of Custer's last stand, agrees to help Emperor Meiji (Shichinosuke Nakamura) quell samurai renegades in Japan. But he's captured by samurai leader Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe), who keeps him a prisoner. Nathan learns the ways of the samurai. He also becomes attracted to Katsumoto's sister, Taka (the single-named Koyuki), who happens to be the widow of a samurai Nathan killed. To even think of creating a romance between Nathan and Taka is Hollywood storytelling at its worst. It's a shame about the cultural elbow-nudging, because Zwick's direction is assured and powerful. The battle scenes are Kurosawa-esque at times. And the performances from Cruise and Watanabe are strong. Contains violence. Area theaters.

LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION (PG, 90 minutes) -- This mixture of live action and animation brings us into the zany backstage of Warner Bros., where Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are squabbling over their share of screen time. It's a postmodern comedy for kids. The movie, which also includes appearances by Yosemite Sam, Rhode Island Red and, of course, Wile E. Coyote, has its funny moments, but all too often it's a corny, lackluster film in which humans pretend (not always convincingly) to interact with cartoons. Although Acme head Steve Martin's body and facial contortions are bendably amusing, director Joe Dante and screenwriter Larry Doyle hardly give him a ton of hilarious material to work with. Brendan Fraser, however, has a certain Teflon ability to do well in any movie. This performance, as a Warner Bros. security guard, is no exception. Contains mild obscenity and innuendo. Laurel Cinema.

{sstar} the LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (PG-13, 201 minutes) -- Director and co-writer Peter Jackson's triumphant conclusion to his "Rings" trilogy brings it home for everyone. We enjoy the fulfillment of destinies for once-and-future monarch Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen), his resolute love, Arwen (Liv Tyler), and his two warrior-allies, Legolas (Orlando Bloom) and Gimli (John Rhys-Davis). We also see what becomes of the honorable Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellen), of Theoden (Bernard Hill), Merry (Dominic Monaghan) and Pippin (Billy Boyd), and the scores of others. The movie's good at big- and small-scale stories. Jackson takes us from the extended battles between the dark lord Sauron's forces and the allies of Middle Earth, led by Aragorn, Theoden, king of Rohan, and Gandalf, to the closer-in, more personal conflicts, such as the one between the scheming Gollum-Smeagol (Andy Serkis) and Frodo (Elijah Wood), who carries the all-important ring. Contains intense battle sequences and some frightening images. Area theaters.

{sstar} LOST IN TRANSLATION (R, 102 minutes) -- Sofia Coppola's charmingly offbeat film finds Bill Murray in Tokyo, bored and existentially flummoxed as Bob Harris, a past-his-prime actor who has come to the Japanese capital to shoot a series of lucrative whiskey commercials. When he meets Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson), the bored twentysomething wife of a fashion photographer (Giovanni Ribisi) who's also in town for a commercial gig, he finds a kindred spirit. If Murray has an imposing corner on the comic dynamism in this movie, Johansson is no less compelling for her mysticism, self-assurance and charm. The crucial question is: What kind of relationship should they have? For an entire, thoroughly enjoyable movie, they undergo a sort of delicate negotiation. Contains sexual scenes and obscenity. Landmark's Bethesda Row and Cineplex Odeon Dupont Circle.

{sstar} LOVE ACTUALLY (R, 135 minutes) -- Not all nine of this British film's interwoven love stories work, but more do than don't. At the bottom of the heap is a crass bit about a lovelorn London lad (Kris Marshall) who flies to Milwaukee in a "Girls Gone Wild"-style departure from the film's generally sensitive tone. At the top is sublimely poignant subplot about a young American woman (Laura Linney), whose attachment to her mentally unstable brother keeps her from finding true romance with a gorgeous co-worker (Rodrigo Santoro). In between, the celebration of love in (almost) all its glory is mostly charming, with great performances by Bill Nighy, Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth and others. That's mainly thanks to filmmaker Richard Curtis, who brings a deft touch as the writer of "Four Weddings and a Funeral," Notting Hill" and "Bridget Jones's Diary" to a complex, if occasionally unwieldy, script that the first-time director manages to guide home despite a misstep or two. Contain obscenity, sexual humor and partial nudity. Area theaters.

-- Michael O'Sullivan

{sstar} MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (PG-13, 138 minutes) -- Peter Weir's epic isn't just a fabulous seagoing spectacle. It's one for the ages. Not only does it give you an atmospheric feel for the agony and ecstasy of early 19th-century sea warfare, it's a rollicking good story. And Russell Crowe is top of the line as Capt. Jack Aubrey (Russell Crowe), the British captain on the trail of a formidable French frigate. The cinematography, montage, sounds of the ocean, sets and costumes are all part of a constantly exhilarating whole. Composers Iva Davies, Christopher Gordon and Richard Tognetti have provided an unforgettable score. And the performances are perfect. Paul Bettany gives us a stirring character as Aubrey's best friend and the ship surgeon. But Crowe's the main attraction. Swaggery and sensitive, bullish and subtle, he's a star from the old days, a man with the sweaty, animalistic grace of Brando. He makes his crew -- and us -- follow him to the ends of the earth. Contains intense battle sequences, disturbing violence, primitive surgery and some obscenity. Area theaters.

MONA LISA SMILE (PG-13, 119 minutes) -- In the 1950s, new teacher Katherine Watson (Julia Roberts) comes to Wellesley College, academia's home to America's smartest women, expecting to find free-thinking students with career aspirations. But she soon discovers these young women are brilliant parrots, inflexible in their thinking and committed to marriage over career. Despite good performances from Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Julia Stiles, the movie feels oddly conventional. Which is ironic, considering "Mona Lisa" is about the defeat of conventional thinking. Roberts's tempered, almost phoned-in performance doesn't work very well. Like the girdles that tie down these promising women, the movie is trite and trussed. Contains sexual themes. Area theaters.

{sstar} MYSTIC RIVER (R, 137 minutes) -- Assured, unhurried and steady, "Mystic River" takes director Clint Eastwood to an even higher watermark than "Bird," "The Bridges of Madison County" and "Unforgiven." Adapted by screenwriter Brian ("L.A. Confidential") Helgeland from Dennis Lehane's novel, the deeply textured drama in which the sins (or perceived sins) of the past weigh heavily on the present centers around three childhood friends, played in adulthood by Sean Penn, Tim Robbins and Kevin Bacon, and what happens to them when one of the group's daughter is killed. As the murdered girl's raging father, Penn, like his co-stars, is terrific, but it is Robbins, as a man harboring childhood ghosts, who is the film's linchpin. It's a treat to share this gloomy reckoning with all three of them. Contains sexual content, violence, a gruesome murder scene and overall emotional intensity. Area theaters.

{sstar} SCHOOL OF ROCK (PG-13, minutes) -- Jack Black so occupies the role of Dewey Finn, a failed rock musician who impersonates a substitute elementary-school teacher to come up with rent money, that you can't believe he's acting. And when Dewey discovers that some of his affluent charges play instruments, leading him to organize a pint-size rock band, it's hard to find the seams between the actor and the character, who relates to his students with spit-inflected, co*ckeyed conviction but utterly without condescension. He's like one of them, just bigger and hairier, and he's what makes Richard Linklater's spirited but never sleazy comedy about the power of music a movie for almost everyone, from boomer parents (who remember their wild teens and twenties) to their teenage kids (who can't wait to get started with same). Contains some crude humor and drug references. AFI Silver Theatre.

{sstar} SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE (PG-13, 123 minutes) -- For 90 minutes, this romantic comedy is just right. It's a well-written, nicely acted and smoothly directed battle of the sexes between Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. He's Harry (Nicholson), a shameless womanizer (or girlizer) who has never married. He has never had a romance. It's all sex to him. She's Erica (Keaton), the mother of one of Harry's young conquests who becomes the one who will change his behavior. But there will be many battles before they figure it out. Not to mention a heart attack or two. Writer-director Nancy Meyers, who has made a career of romantic fluff, has created her best work. But she can't seem to stop the movie when the story's been long over. Contains sexual situations, nudity and obscenity. Area theaters.

{sstar} THE STATION AGENT (R, 88 minutes) -- Finbar "Fin" McBride (Peter Dinklage), a shy, soft-spoken dwarf, moves into a deserted train depot, thinking he can hide out from humanity. But he hasn't reckoned with a chatty Cuban American named Joe (Bobby Cannavale) who runs a hot-dog stand and Olivia (Patricia Clarkson), an eccentric loner and artist, both of whom crave human companionship. Little by little, Fin is goosed into reassuming his humanity. Written and directed by Thomas McCarthy, "The Station Agent" is a dream of an indie movie. And the 4-foot-6 Dinklage, a heartthrob and charmer, delivers a performance of unspoken subtlety. He embodies the inner Zen of this film: That small is beautiful.Contains obscenity and drug usage. Foxchase and Cineplex Odeon Inner Circle.

{sstar} STUCK ON YOU (PG-13, 120 minutes) -- This buddy comedy, written and directed by Farrelly brothers Peter and Bobby, is surprisingly charming. Bob (Matt Damon) and Walt Tenor (Greg Kinnear) are conjoined twins who live an idyllic life in Martha's Vineyard, where they own a diner. With four hands to work with, those burgers and fries are prepared in a dazzling, coordinated blur. When Walt decides to go to Hollywood to become an actor, naturally Bob has to come with him. But Bob really prefers the Vineyard. Mainly, the movie's about the relationship between the brothers. And thanks to the Farrelly brothers' tender approach, we're quite pulled in. Damon is amusing, but Kinnear's goofy near-saintliness is the movie's likable and significant engine. Contains obscenity, physical slapstick and sexual situations. Area theaters.

21 GRAMS (R, 126 minutes) -- Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, maker of the great "Amores Perros," doesn't pull it off a second time, despite a story that is, similarly, wrapped around a car accident. Swamped in denatured colors (the official look of spiritual desperation), "21 Grams" doesn't lack for dramatic import, as nasty fate pulls together a math teacher (Sean Penn) dying of heart disease, a former drug addict turned frazzled mother (Naomi Watts) and a convict-turned Jesus preacher (Benicio Del Toro). All three actors deliver high-impact performances that take you right through the movie. But the cumulative effect feels way too manipulative and over the top. Contains drug use, violence, obscenity, sexual scenes and emotionally distressing material. Area theaters.

Repertory

AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM -- At the Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater: "Space Station 3-D," daily at 11:10, 12:15, 1:55, 3 and 5. "To Fly!," daily at 1:15. "Straight Up: Helicopters in Action," daily at 10:15 and 4. At the Albert Einstein Planetarium: "Infinity Express," daily at 10:30, 11, 11:30, 12:30, 1, 1:30, 2, 2:30, 3, 3:30, 4, 4:30 and 5. "The Stars Tonight," daily at noon. Seventh and Independence SW. 202-357-1686.

AMERICAN CITY DINER -- "The Maltese Falcon," Friday at 7:30. "The Sting," Saturday at 7:30. "The Music Man," Sunday at 7:30. "Double Indemnity," Monday at 7:30. "Wall Street," Tuesday at 7:30. "Rocky," Wednesday at 7:30. "Barbara Streisand: Live in Concert," Wednesday at 10. 5532 Connecticut Ave. NW. 202-244-1949.

CHARLES THEATRE -- "Ikiru," Saturday at noon and Thursday at 9. 1711 N. Charles St., Baltimore. 410-727-3456.

MARYLAND SCIENCE CENTER -- IMAX Theater: "Beavers," Friday-Thursday at 11. "Space Station 3-D," Friday-Thursday at 12, 3:10, 5:20 and 7:30. "The Human Body," Friday-Thursday at 1:10, 4:20 and 6:30. "Dolphins," Friday-Thursday at 2:10. David Planetarium: "The Sky Above Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," daily except Monday at 1. "The Sky: Live!" daily except Monday at 3:15. "Hubble Heritage: Poetic Pictures," Friday and Tuesday-Thursday at 4, Saturday at 12, 1:45, 2:30, 4 and 5, Sunday at 1:45, 2:30 and 4. 601 Light St., Baltimore. 410-685-5225.

MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY -- "Jane Goodall's Wild Chimpanzees," daily at 10:20, 1:05 and 3:55. "Bugs! (3-D)," daily at 11:15 and 3. "T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous," daily at 12:10, 2 and 4:50. "Disney's the Young Black Stallion," daily at 6 and 8. "Cirque du Soleil: Journey of Man," Friday-Saturday at 7. Samuel C. Johnson Theater, 10th and Constitution NW. 202-633-7400.

NATIONAL GALLERY OF ART -- "The Art of Romare Bearden," Friday, Sunday and Tuesday at 11:30. "Match Factory Girl," Friday at 2:30. "I Hired a Contract Killer," Saturday at 12:30. "Ariel" and "Leningrad Cowboys Go America," Saturday at 2. "Drifting Clouds," Sunday at 2. "Juha," Sunday at 4. "A Place to Be," Tuesday and Wednesday at 12:30. Free. East Building, Fourth and Constitution NW. 202-737-4215.

PSYCHOTRONIC FILM SOCIETY -- "Pink Flamingos," Tuesday at 8. Dr. Dremo's Taphouse, 2001 Clarendon Blvd., Arlington. 202-736-1732 or 202-707-2540.

VISIONS BAR NOIR -- Singalong movie: "The Little Mermaid," Sunday at 8. 1927 Florida Ave. NW. 202-667-0090.

New on Video

ALEX & EMMA

(PG-13, 2003, 96 MINUTES, WARNER BROS.)

In director Rob Reiner's "romantic comedy," Alex (Luke Wilson) is a writer who'll receive more than $100,000 from his publisher as soon as he finishes his promised novel. He also has a month to pay some cliched Cuban loan sharks a previous debt or be killed, but he has writer's block. He hires stenographer Emma Dinsmore (Kate Hudson) to help him finish. As he dictates to the high-strung, opinionated Emma (in a story-within-a-story structure), we are unfortunately privy to his truly terrible book, in which Alex's alter ego (also played by Wilson) is torn between a Frenchwoman (Sophie Marceau) and her domestic (Hudson). The inside story is weak, dull and head-poundingly boring, and the outside story is only slightly better. Contains sexual content and some obscenity.

-- Desson Thomson

{sstar} L'AUBERGE ESPAGNOLE

(R, 2002, 122 MINUTES, 20TH CENTURY FOX)

Set in a Barcelona group house populated by a mini-United Nations of foreign exchange students, this funny, sexy and moving little comedy of postmodern manners is the best advertisem*nt for peace, love and understanding among nations I can think of. It follows a year in the life of Xavier (Romain Duris, so wonderful in "Gadjo Dilo"), a French university student studying in Spain because a friend of his father's told him it would help his career in the post-euro economy. But econ classes are the furthest thing from Xavier's mind as he navigates the school of life and hard knocks, whose curriculum includes crash courses in love, heartbreak, friendship and that most important class of all: finding yourself before you get swallowed alive by the bureaucracy. In French, Spanish and several other languages with subtitles. Contains obscenity and sexual situations and dialogue.

-- Michael O'Sullivan

I CAPTURE THE CASTLE

(R, 2003, 113 MINUTES, SAMUEL GOLDWYN FILMS)

In this BBC Films production based on the 1948 novel by British writer Dodie Smith (who also wrote "The Hundred and One Dalmatians"), 17-year-old Cassandra (Romola Garai) lives with an eccentric, dysfunctional family in a rented English castle. When the castle's owner dies, the family meets the new American heirs: Simon (Henry Thomas), his brother, Neil (Marc Blucas), and their mother, Mrs. Cotton (Sinead Cusack). Unfortunately, Cassandra and her sister, Rose (Rose Byrne), both become interested in Simon. As visually moribund as it is gently observed, "I Capture the Castle" feels like a respectable BBC television drama rather than a movie. Language is the film's only source of vitality. What the characters say is far more important than the often-stilted way they deliver it or their gestures and behavior. Better to read the book than see this. Contains brief nudity.

-- D.T.

JEEPERS CREEPERS 2

(R, 2003, 104 MINUTES, MGM)

First introduced in writer-director Victor Salva's sleeper horror hit from two years ago, the Creeper is back. Actually, the fiend (a cross between Freddy Krueger, the Creature from the Black Lagoon and a pterodactyl) never left. Rising out of the ground every 23 years to feast on teenage flesh for 23 days, the beast has apparently been eating nonstop since the first film. With only a day or two left before the buffet lines closes, he/it has moved on to the dessert course, a bunch of high school football players and cheerleaders trapped like metaphorical sardines in a broken-down bus. While Salva claims to have modeled the film on Alfred Hitchco*ck's "Lifeboat," the functional but tiresome thriller plays more like a poor man's "Moby Dick," complete with Captain Ahab in the form of a obsessed farmer (Ray Wise) with a pickup-mounted harpoon. Contains obscenity and gore.

-- M.O.

THE MEDALLION

(PG-13, 2003, 88 MINUTES, TRISTAR PICTURES)

The aging Jackie Chan plays Eddie Yang, a Hong Kong policeman tracking a ne'er-do-well named Snakehead (Julian Sands), who is in search of a medallion that gives its owner the ability to be hoisted above a movie set via wire by stagehands. Actually, it gives its owner hazily defined superpowers and eternal life, as well as the ability to resuscitate the recently departed. The trick is, there are two halves to the medallion, and it has to be complete for all the powers to kick in. Joining Eddie are bumbling Interpol agent Arthur Watson (Lee Evans) and beautiful Interpol agent Nicole James (Claire Forlani), who has a romantic history with Yang (it's never really fleshed out). Chan's normally homegrown stuntwork is replaced by a lot of wire fighting and special effects -- done in ultra-fast motion and far less effective. It seems the days of "Drunken Master" are far behind him. Contains bloodless gunplay and martial-arts violence, and sexual innuendo.

-- Matt Bonesteel

Professor Katherine Watson (Julia Roberts) talks with her students, including Joan (Julia Stiles, seated with Roberts on the couch), in "Mona Lisa Smile."Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) consults with Gandalf (Ian McKellen) in "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."Walt Tenor (Greg Kinnear) flirts with April (Eva Mendes) while his conjoined twin brother, Bob (Matt Damon), dozes in "Stuck on You."