Tromso v Tottenham Hotspur – as it happened| Rob Smyth (2024)

A job done by Spurs, occasionally well, and they will go into the last 32 as group winners. Thanks for your company; goodnight!

90+2 min Dawson lunges at Norbye near the byline and doesn't make contact with the ball. That looked like it should have been a penalty, although we haven't seen a replay.

90+1 min Ondrasek's good volley from the edge of the box is deflected wide for a corner.

"Three of of the best from Berbatov," says Hardik Vyas. "You just can't forget them"

90 min There will be three minutes of added time.

89 minDembele is down after a zesty tackle from Fojut. He's limping but should be fine. Fojut is booked.

87 min The game is petering out, as friendlies are wont to do.

84 min I can't believe none of you have suggested this.

83 min "I did try searching for 'Steffen Freund's delightful chip in a pre-season friendly against Stevenage' on YouTube on the off chance, " says Michael Hunt. "And though it surprisingly didn’t yield the results intended, it did provide what might be the most heartfelt YouTube video I’ve seen in a while."

80 min The game is petering out, which permits the opportunity for a dignity-free plug.

79 min"Sending on our best defender (Vertonghen) in cold weather in a match that doesn't mean that much before arguably our most important game of the season seems odd to me," says Alex Porritt. "I hope it's not because he's been grumbling about playing left back. As a staunch AVB apologist, doubt is starting to creep in. Despite the result this has been a pretty awful performance and fairly typical of recent games - lot's of possession, but virtually no tempo."

I haven't seen enough of Spurs to comment, although it should be a golden rule of football that if you allow someone to spend big, you give them at least a season before polishing the baseball bat.

77 min A change for both sides. Erik Lamela on, Glyfi Sigurdsson off; Hendrik Helmke on, Thomas Bendiksen off.

76 min Dembele should have scored again. He was put clear by a Spurs player, whose name we must withhold for legal reasons LOOK I'M NOT SURE WHO IT WAS OKAY, and ran into the area before placing the ball onto the post with his left foot. It rebounded across goal to Dembele, only a few yards out, and his follow-up was cleared off the line by a Tromso player, whose name we must withhold for etc.

Dembele makes it 2-0. It was a decent move from Spurs. Holtby on the right played a crisp pass into Sigurdsson on the edge of the area. His attempted reverse pass to Soldado was deflected to Dembele, who finished easily with his left foot from 12 yards. He scored a famous goal for Spurs against Lyon in this competition last season, and he's scored an anonymous one tonight.

74 min "I know it's not strictly what you requested but my favourite Spurs goal was scored against, not for, Tottenham, by Liverpool hero Jari Litmanen," says Tom Byrne. "His strike won Liverpool all three points in an otherwise terrible game. There's a Scandinavian connection to tonight's fixture that I think makes up for my manipulation of the theme. And it's on YouTube."

73 min Tromso win a corner on the right. It's drilled beyond the far post towards Fojut, who gets above Dawson but can't get any power on a header that bounces gently into the loving embrace of Friedel.

71 min The flow of the match has been broken by a series of substitutions, as is usually the case with friendly matches. A double change for Spurs: Lewis Holtby and Jan Vertonghen on, Zeki Fryers and Nacer Chadli off.

70 min Andersen marauds confidently onto a loose ball 25 yards out and shanks it towards the right wing. Another change for Tromso: Runar Espejord on, Morten Moldskred off.

69 min Tromso make a change, with goodhewista Hans Norbye replacing William Frantzen.

67 min "I think it was Phil Collins who broke up with his wife by fax. Classy.
How about this Klinsmann beauty versus Liverpool from 1995? It's my favourite Tottingham moment. Bring back Ossie Ardiles."

A beautiful touch from Teddy Sheringham, who really deserves an On Second Thoughts. And I agree Ardiles deserves all the credit, having been replaced by Gerry Francis just five months earlier. It was clearly residual.

66 min "Centre-back Chiriches demonstrating exactly the near-post proactive running that Soldado hasn't been," says Gabriel Harry.

64 min Almost two in two minutes for Spurs. Townsend moves infield from the left, plays a neat one-two with Sigurdsson and leathers a low ball right across the face of goal.

Sigurdsson was fouled on the left wing, just outside the area and almost by the touchline. He sidefooted the free-kick at pace towards Chiriches, who got ahead of Causevic at the near post. Chiriches missed the ball but Causevic, sliding in, slammed it past his own keeper from six yards.

AVB in!

62 min "Here's my favourite Spurs goal, other than the Gazza one obviously," says Jim Chambers. "Anyway it's in the Uefa Cup too coincidentally and it won Goal of the Season that year. It was the first match I took my then girlfriend to, and she's now my wife, so she thought it was always this good at White Hart Lane. I'll let you add the punchline."

61 min Townsend goes on an excellent slalom from the right before playing crisp pass across the line of the area to Chadli. He moves infield onto his right foot and then wafts a sickening effort miles over the bar.

60 min Spurs are starting to get frustrated, collectively and individually.

58 min"I thought someone would have nominated this already, since it is clearly a work of art, which I try to emulate every week and every week tamely dink the ball into the keeper's hands," says Robin Hughes. "One day.... Glenn Hoddle vs. Watford."

56 min Bendiksen's free-kick is straight at Friedel, who does fairly well to hold on given the slightly awkward bounce. Moments later Soldado, who has a not insignificant cob on, is booked for a ridiculous tackle. The free-kick is swung in from the right and headed straight at Friedel.

55 min Capoue overruns the ball, slips and compounds the situation by pawing at Bendiksen with his right arm to trip him over. That's a booking in some cultures, including this one. The free-kick is 25 yards out, to the right of centre...

54 min Sigurdsson has a goal disallowed because of handball by Soldado. It was accidental, with the ball kicking up off the pitch to hit his in the bicep region, although you could argue he deserved to be punished for an inept first touch.

52 min "Watching that Jason Cundy goal from '92/'93 made me pine for fussy details on strips," says Harry Tuttle. "Everyone back then seemed to have at least one mad, bad away strip with high-contrast splashes of colour and/or a distorted oversized graphic. Alas, they've gone from the game. I wonder if it was an industry-wide fad or just the work of one maverick kit designer? Perhaps a collective of kit designers based their top-secret kit design manifesto entirely upon the necessity of fussy details? Surely somebody knows."

In the early 90s, design tools got carried away with their design tools for a few years. It was a case of the louder the better. And then one day everyone woke up and asked the not unreasonable question: "What the hell is going on?" There's a lesson for journalism in there somewhere.

51 min Dawson is rightly booked for a foul on on Ondrasek that was a perfect fusion of cynicism and ineptitude. Ondrasek nicked the ball off Townsend and was haring towards goal when the flat-footed Dawson did what needed to be done. He was too far from goal for it to be a red card.

49 min The referee has simultaneously booked all 22 players for timewasting. Actually, in 1983-84 a referee booked the entire Notts County wall - seven of them, I think - for encoraching at Old Trafford. Imagine the brouhaha if that happened now.

48 min "I don't give a hoot about Spurs (chicken + basketball = chicken) or Tromso (Santa's not from there), but I do like your MBMs because your byline photo reminds me of a lecturer I had," says Tim Smyth. "He was great. Wrote poems. We had a laugh. I'll have a nostalgic laugh looking at the updates. Good man!"

Damn! I thought the makeover and new passport had worked. Is the scandal still raging? The fact is, something extracurricular really means extracurricular. They got nothin' on me.

47 min Dawson concedes a corner, which might be Tromso's first of the match. It's swung out towards the penalty spot and headed clear.

46 min Tromso begin the second half. Or, to put it another way, we're 45 minutes away from freedom.

David Purvis: "Iversen... Doherty... Cundy - the names roll off the tongue,reviving memoriesof the Glory Days forSpurs fans everywhere. Not to mention Edinburgh, Sinton, andNethercott, or Samways, Howells and Booth... Andy Booth...Atimely reminder of recent mediocrity forthat (small?) number of Spurs fans currently frothing at the mouth at our current 'plight'."

Pierre-Louis Le Goff: "Given that people are bandying round names of possible successors to AVB, any idea what Marcelo Biesla's up to at the moment? A bit of 3-3-1-3 in the Premier League would give Michael Cox something to write about."

Seamus Devlin: "Wasn't it David Coulthard who broke up with a girlfriend via fax (indeed the fax machine in his apartment)?"

Have any of our readers been dumped by Twitter? #itsover?

Half time: Tromso 0-0 Tottenham When we brazenly recycle The Joy of Six: 0-0 draws, this won't be in it. The weather is pretty, but.

43 min Soldado, on the right touchline, beats Fojut with a ridiculous piece of skill. He stood on the ball, then dragged it backwards and flicked it past Fojut before running round the other side. An uber-Cruyff turn. Then his cutback to Sigurdsson was easily cut out, and with that went his chance of going viral. I wonder what Brian Clough would make of the concept of footballers going viral.

40 min "I keep telling you Mr Smyth: Liverpool vs Tottenham, 2005 April, Erik Edman," says Mats Anderson.

Still no Glenn Hoddle nominations. The flip?

39 min Ciriches takes a shortcut through Andersen. Free-kick to Tromso on the right wing. Nothing happens.

38 min Chadli missed a great chance to give Spurs the lead. He was found by a fine pass from Sigurdsson, waved from centre to left with the outside of the foot. Chadli took it in his stride, into the area, and then walloped it miles over the bar from 15 yards.

37 min "Here's an absolute peach from Steffen Iversen which I've always loved," says Justin Lim. "How we'd kill for one of these in our current plight."

Stephen Carr scored one of his periodic blooters in that game as well, didn't he.

35 min Tromso have settled snugly into a 4-4-2-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0 formation. Spurs are playing okay; no more or less than that.

34 min Townsend Cruyff-turns on the right of the box and clips a cross towards Soldado, who has to jump almost backwards and can only loop a header wide of the far post. Sigurdsson helps it back into the six-yard box but the ball was just out of play, or at least the assistant referee deemed it as such.

32 min Townsend has been easily the most urgent player on the field, which is impressive given the meaningless of the match, even if it has sometimes manifested itself in impatience and consequent poor decision-making.

28 min A corner from Sigurdsson is cleared decisively by a Tromso noggin. Nothing else to report. Townsend is getting a little angry. Clarke Carlisle, the ITV commentator, makes the age-old point that some players need to get angry to perform at their best. To prove the point he cites the example of, er, Ade Akinbiyi. Oh, Clarke. That reminiscent of when David Beckham was sent off against Argentina in 1998, and the ITV co-commentator Kevin Keegan went into some detail describing the difficulties of playing with 10 men. He cited the obvious reference point: Newcastle's second division match against Grimsby five years earlier.

27 min "None of my favourite Spurs goals that spring to mind are on YouTube, which is hardly fair," says Enna Cooper. "Maybe a bored reader could draw them for us?
1. Steffen Iversen stealing the ball under from John Terry's foot in the penalty box to score during our Worthington Cup run in 1998/99
2. Steffen Freund's delightful chip in a pre-season friendly against Stevenage; Yes, a Steffen Freund goal. It doesn't get much more rare than that.
3. A Gary Doherty volley that practically ripped the net from the foal while playing against Leicester. It could only have been more spectacular had the volley been his intention. It was supposed to be an interception and it was the goal he was supposed to have been defending from which it almost ripped the net, but you can't have everything, can you?"

26 min Townsend works Lekstrom with a good low shot from 25 yards. It bobbled awkwardly on the plastic pitch and Lekstrom had to sprawl to his left to save at the second attempt.

21 min "If there is an apostrophe in Cup Winners' Cup, then surely there should be one in the Champions' League too?" says Gareth Beale. "Is it possessive, or just a plural? The one that always did my head in was how to punctuate the winners of the former competition. Also, if someone got to keep it after winning it enough times, would it then be the European Cup Winners Cup Winners Cup?"

Oh man. Which eejit started this?

20 min Chadli's dinked cross from the left is just over the leaping Soldado. It comes to Townsend on the far side of the box. He moves away from goal and feeds Capoue, whose 20-yard shot deflects tantalisingly wide of goal with the keeper Lekstrom motionless.

18 min Spurs' first chance of the match. Townsend zips infield from the right in the increasingly familiar style before reversing a nice pass to Sigurdsson, 15 yards from goal to the right of the box. He crunches a first-time shot across Lekstrom and fractionally wide of the far post.

16 min "I have been a long-suffering Spurs fan for 22 of my 31years," says Paul McAleavey. "In that time the best goal I've seen was this goal by Jason Cundy against Ipswich in 1992-93. The knot of Spurs fans growing up inFinaghy, South Belfast, still talk about it to this day (when the three of us get to meet)."

14 min Moldskred's jaunty backheel allows Ondrasek to break into the box, but he is crowded out before he can conceive a shot. Moments later, Zeki Fryers' cross is booted behind for the first corner of the game. Sigurdsson swings it to the near post, where Soldado flicks it tantalisingly across the face of goal. The stretching Capoue, just beyond the far post, couldn't quite get there.

13 min Sometimes meaningless games crackle with intensity and excitement. Think Arsenal 2-4 Manchester United in 2005, or Arsenal 2-4 Manchester United in 2005. This is not, as yet, one of those games.

12 min You want a funky gallery of tonight's game? Yeah you do.

11 min "Happy Thanksgiving from the U, S, and A!" says Daniel Schulwolf. "I will be celebrating by watching three consecutive American Football games, following along with your lovely MBMs, and stuffing myself with countless dishes of American cuisine. Is there a better holiday anywhere in the world?"

The short answer is 'no', and so is the long one. Happy Thanksgiving!

10 min Sigurdsson, who should be at home in these conditions oh god I said it, pitter-patters down the left and finds Naughton, whose cross is despicable and goes out for a throw in.

9 min "My favourite Gazza Spurs goal," says Phil Cowen. "I can't think of many other players who would score this."

8 min Dembele shambles through a couple of tackles to find Townsend, who tries to go round the outside of the defence to precisely no avail.

5 min "Hi Rob," says Allan Booker. "Give us a quick spiel on the attractions of Tromso, largest city inside the Arctic Circle."

Good lad. Some good banter, that.

4 min Tromso have started very well for a side who are supposed to be on the inept side of useless, and another promising attack ends with a half shout for a penalty when Kristiansen falls over in the box. Nah.

3 min "Favourite Spurs goal of all time," begins Paul Foley. "Nayim. UEFA Cup Final. 1995. Total corker."

But that was for Real Zaragoza?

1 min Peep peep! Beep beep! Spurs kick off from left to right. They are in black, Tromso are in red-and-white. It's snowing. We have an orange ball - and it should have been in Spurs' goal after 33 seconds! Ondrasek was played through on goal by a cute little pass from Andersen, with Dawson appealing for offside, and screwed his shot across Friedel and wide from 10 yards. He should have scored.

"No bother Rob, am actually just touching up my manifesto on inequality in football; it seems I'll never finish it," says Taidgh Teacher. "Twerking? I think it's fairly harmless. I wouldn't dream of telling someone else what to think, though. And as for I'm a Celebrity, I'm following the MBM on the Guardian website. I'm obviously not sophisticated enough for such highbrow programming. What is your prediction for tonight, then?"

Hmm, erm, wait, hang on, 2-0 to Spurs.

Anyway, as for Spurs, I wasn't necessarily criticising them for sacking all those managers - although if you have to sack so many bad (sic) managers surely you might consider sacking the eejit who appointed them - as making the point you could argue they were premature. And I think you can, certainly by the standards of the 20th century, standards that were often shown to be successful. We're an impatient, entitled shower hese days.

Some jaunty pre-match music to put everyone in a good mood

"The best Spurs goal was one when the cameras were not there to record it," says Mike Nagle. "Jimmy Greaves scored against Leicester going from the halfway line after bring the ball down with his foot & ghosting past all their defenders. He rounded Peter Shilton to score an unbelievable goal! The best he ever scored. I was there that day. If only there had been cameras!"

Did you not get the memo, Mike? If it's not on YouTube, it doesnt count.

"Alright Rob," says Craig Smaaskjaer, whose name I have probably spelt wrong, although if I have it doesn't mean I'm a xenophobe, just stupid. "I'm sure you will be riffing on a certain precedent but just in case it slipped the mem, it was during the Cup Winners Cup 97/98 when Chelsea (sans roubles) went to Tromsø under all sorts of pressure, with Gullit feeling the Kenneth Batesfake Santachill more than the elements. There was all sorts of bother during the game (it was like a lunchtime kickaboot at an Oslo primary school) but, apparently, what was missed for the viewing public was the unravelling of Ruud: the story goes he was smacking his head off the wall during half time and when word got back to Ken he knew the end was beginning.

"So, could it be that Tromsø takes on the mantle of being the Nordic West Brom? Is there a smashed tile in the shower rooms that Villas Boas can stare at, like a Vietnam vet, and wonder if this too is the beginning of the end? Or perhaps they covered it up with a print of Edvard Munch's 'Scream'. Which is probably not going to help. Oh Andre... the Beatles are splittin up!"

That seemed like a great email - chatty, informative, original - but all I could I think about while reading it was: is there a bloody apostrophe on Cup Winners' Cup, and if so where does the bloody thing go?

"Shock horror Spurs sack bad managers," says Taidgh Teacher. "Yawn. Other clubs that have sacked more managers in the last 12 years than Spurs include Real Madrid, Inter Milan and on and on. Oh, but Stoke has only had 6! Obviously a much more stable club. Seeing the trees for the forest there, I think, Rob."

Good point Taidgh! While you're here, any chance you could tell me what I should be thinking about inequality, twerking and who should win I'm A Celebrity?

"My favourite Spurs goal?" says Ed Moloney. "Greaves' goal against Man Utd 1965 – in fact all five goals!"‏

Spurs are already through to the last 256 of the Europa League; Tromso are out.

Tromso (10) Lekstrom; Frantzen, Causevic, Fojut, Kristiansen, Andersen, Johansen, Bendiksen, Drage, Moldskread, Ondrasek.
Subs: Bakkelund, Norbye, Lars Gunnar Johnsen, Mathias Johnsen, Antonsen, Helmke, Espejord.

Tottenham Hotspur (10) Friedel; Naughton, Chiriches, Dawson, Fryers, Capoue, Dembele; Chadli, Townsend, Sigurdsson, Soldado.
Subs: Archer, Vertonghen, Holtby, Lamela, Coulthirst, Fredericks, McEvoy.
Referee: Yevhen Aranovskiy (Ukraine)

It's been a sickening few weeks for Tottenham, who will go above Manchester United if they beat them on Sunday, so let's remember the good times. Email your favourite Spurs goal of all time (not necessarily the best). I'll start with a choice so obvious that I've obliterated my own delusion of being an original human being just by posting it.

And here's his post-match interview, with the best pronunciation of 'measured' in the history of humankind.

Preamble Good evening. If you're somebody's bit on the side, and you then graduate to their bit in the middle, you should not be entirely surprised at the subsequent discovery of a new bit on the side. Then again, it's human nature to embrace the delusion: it's different this time, I can tame him/her, I am the one, I am special. The same principle applies to working under Joe Lewis and Daniel Levy at Spurs. In their 12 years at White Hart Lane, Spurs have had eight managers. (Contrast with the rest of the traditional Big Five: Arsenal 1, Man Utd 2, Everton 2, Liverpool 5. Even Chelsea, who developed a machine especially to churn out managers' P45s, have only had 9.) Most of those eight managers were sacked; you could legitimately argue that all eight departures were premature.

Spurs may soon have a ninth manager, with Andre Villas-Boas apparently fighting for his job after a despicable start to the season in which Spurs are four points off second in the league and have qualified from their Europa League group with two games to spare. Tonight's meaningless match in the Arctic Circle – metaphor bingo – should offer temporary respite ahead of Sunday's mustn't-lose game against Manchester United, although you never know: it was during a Europa League game against Getafe six years ago that Martin Jol found out he had been sacked. Via a text message from a mate. Lewis and Levy do things their way, but then you should know that when you get into bed with them.

Body language experts will be scrutinising a Portuguese gentleman from 6pm.